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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 4:08 pm
by Sailor Saturn
Originally posted by fable:
<STRONG>Quiet, or I'll take out my teeth and throw 'em at ya.
</STRONG>
Like I haven't heard that before.
Actually...an old lady did threatened me exactly like that once several years ago.
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 4:52 pm
by Aleldar
Originally posted by Aegis:
<STRONG>you mean 50 is actually an age? I thought it was some miracle story the government tokd people, so they would continue working meaningless jobs for the oh so non existent pension...
</STRONG>
It is, Fable will be lead out in a field to graze.
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 5:12 pm
by fable
Originally posted by HighLordDave:
<STRONG>I'd take him seriously, Sailor Saturn . . . he's probably got those old-style dentures with the gold bridges and real ivory teeth; they're heavy as all getout and might leave a bruise if he managed to hit you with them.</STRONG>
Not to mention my adamantine crutch and shoes made from depleted uranium cannisters.
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 5:18 pm
by dragon wench
Originally posted by fable:
<STRONG>I turned 50 about eleven hours ago. Thus far, everything is still in place.
</STRONG>
It might be in place but......there are other considerations
Happy Bitrhday Fable
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 5:44 pm
by Vivien
Fable:
You are still deserving of big hugs from Viv
(and you always will be)
*HUG*
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 5:46 pm
by FudD
happy B-Day!
hope everything continues to stay in place
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 6:10 pm
by Kayless
Happy B-Day Fable!
In honor of you being so decrepit now, here are some Rodney Dangerfield jokes I plagiarized. Let me know if any of them apply to you.
"I'm getting old. At my age, with sex I like a threesome - in case one of us dies."
"Why am I talking about sex for? I got no sex life; I'm old. I tried a Viagra pill -- my tongue got hard."
"When we got married, I told my wife I like sex twice a day -- she said, 'Me, too.' Now we never see each other."
"I found out my wife is faking orgasms -- four of my friends told me."
"Last week my wife told me we were going to have Olympic sex. You know, once every 4 years."
"You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. Abe Lincoln said all men are created equal. He never went to a nude beach."
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 6:29 pm
by HighLordDave
Originally posted by fable:
<STRONG>Not to mention my adamantine crutch and shoes made from depleted uranium cannisters.
</STRONG>
Do you have a titanium walker, too? Or what about a '70 Impala with a Clapper hooked up to the starter? Do you and your wife have matching clothes and an RV? Have you moved to Florida yet? There's no state income tax, no state estate tax and it
is God's waiting room . . .
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 6:54 pm
by thantor3
Happy Birthday, fable! I have worked some complex astrological computations to create the following unique horoscope for you:
This is a good time to meet new people. Be sure to ask them what gender they are. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy". Your lap is trying to tell you something: treat it the way you would a forlorn volcano. With that special someone, emphasize a tendency to tango, especially if a communist billiard ball is involved. Anything involving yoga, a fine Chianti, and counting to Pi is sure to succeed. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. You are positively aspected for a career in thumb sucking.
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 7:06 pm
by Brink
Happy Birthday fable
.
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 7:51 pm
by Georgi
Happy birthday, old boy
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 7:53 pm
by fable
Originally posted by HighLordDave:
<STRONG>Do you have a titanium walker, too? Or what about a '70 Impala with a Clapper hooked up to the starter? Do you and your wife have matching clothes and an RV? </STRONG>
No, but the matching clothes and RV pretty much describe my inlaws.
It's scary, too.
[q]Have you moved to Florida yet? There's no state income tax, no state estate tax and it
is God's waiting room . . .[/q]
Lived in North Florida for 4 years, and Miami for 3. Too damn humid. Fire ants are among the most vindictive creatures on the face of the earth. Miami cops are lax with criminals, great at intimidating the public at large.
Re: taxes--I'm in favor of increasing 'em, on city, state and federal levels, to provide a reasonable level of social services, so this particular argument doesn't necessarily have the expected effect on me.
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 7:56 pm
by fable
Thanks for all the congrats from you guys.
I just got my birthday presents, today. My wife gave me a gold-colored, engraved keyfob with a watch in it (I never wear watches), which was really thoughtful; a used book I'd been wanting for some time; and a bookstand for reading.
And our health insurance company sent me instructions and the, well, apparatus, for conducting a rectal cancer examine. I'm not joking.
I am still inclined to send it back and with amended instructions for their use.
[ 12-11-2001: Message edited by: fable ]
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 8:12 pm
by Aegis
Alright Fable.. Your time is up... follow me, and I'll have my men (Wankerly) excort you to the penial legions, and sal mines.. You old coot...
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 9:07 pm
by fable
Originally posted by Aegis:
<STRONG>Alright Fable.. Your time is up... follow me, and I'll have my men (Wankerly) excort you to the penial legions, and sal mines.. You old coot...
</STRONG>
Yeah, well, eat oatmeal and die, ya young whippersnapper!
Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 9:34 pm
by Aegis
Don't make me get Matlock...
Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 1:18 am
by at99
Happy birthday and congrats
Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 3:41 am
by Gruntboy
Rectal cancer exam toolkit?!
My business oportunity awaits - Millionaire status beckons!
"Gruntboy's DIY rectal exam kit"
RRP $29.99 (+ shipping and handling.
ROFLMAO
Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 4:32 am
by Rail
*sigh* Grunt never changes.
Happy birthday, fable! Well deserved and well lived, I trust!
Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 11:16 am
by fable
Originally posted by Gruntboy:
<STRONG>Rectal cancer exam toolkit?!
My business oportunity awaits - Millionaire status beckons!
"Gruntboy's DIY rectal exam kit"
RRP $29.99 (+ shipping and handling.
ROFLMAO
</STRONG>
Heh! If it's sold by Brookstone (one of the "exclusive gifts" shops in the US), they'll probably add a sexy female voice on a tiny computer chip giving you instructions.