30 Rules Every RPG Should Follow

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30 Rules Every RPG Should Follow

Postby GameBanshee News » Wed Mar 04, 2009 7:45 am

GamesRadar continues to churn out video game-related lists, this time covering the <a href="http://www.gamesradar.com/ps3/f/30-rules-every-rpg-must-follow/a-200903031124494088">"30 rules every RPG should follow"</a>. The list primarily pertains to JRPGs, but there are definitely some entries that apply to Western role-playing games too. A couple of morsels:<br><blockquote><b>7. All the rumors are true</b><br><br>If you hear that there “might” be a bandit camp to the east, whip out your automap and label everything east “unexplored bandit camp.”<br><br>If you hear a rumor from the dithering old lady who’s spent the last 50 years in the hut next to your grandfather’s house about how the king might have a terrible illness and be secretly nearing death, just take her uninformed, loony word for it.<br><br>And anyone who so much as whispers anything about a prophecy, even if they heard it while drunk, underwater and out the beak of a 1,000 year-old duck, take their word as fact, and expect it to be fulfilled in the next 20-some hours of gameplay.<br><br>...<br><br><b>13. Encounter the main villain before you're ready</b><br><br>Hopefully, the game won't make you go through the formality of getting your butt handed to you on a platter, and you'll just see a cutscene of it happening instead.<br><br>If you end up having to fight someone more than 20 levels higher than you, don’t worry about losing. There will be something that saves you before you're annihilated; usually the power of true love, and sometimes it's the true love of a recently deceased grandfather.</blockquote>

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Postby DesR85 » Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:01 am

Not this stupid perception again... :rolleyes:
''They say truth is the first casualty of war. But who defines what's true? Truth is just a matter of perspective. The duty of every soldier is to protect the innocent, and sometimes that means preserving the lie of good and evil, that war isn't just natural selection played out on a grand scale. The only truth I found is that the world we live in is a giant tinderbox. All it takes...is someone to light the match" - Captain Price

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Postby Ronan » Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:26 am

DesR85 wrote:Not this stupid perception again... :rolleyes:


Tsch..Say what you say, but this was an ok article.

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Postby Brother None » Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:59 am

We do post an awful lot of GamesRadar, tho'...
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Postby DesR85 » Wed Mar 04, 2009 10:27 am

Ronan wrote:Tsch..Say what you say, but this was an ok article.

It still smells of fanboyism to me. Don't need to finish reading the article to tell it is written by a fanboy. And you know that I have no respect for this kind of people.
''They say truth is the first casualty of war. But who defines what's true? Truth is just a matter of perspective. The duty of every soldier is to protect the innocent, and sometimes that means preserving the lie of good and evil, that war isn't just natural selection played out on a grand scale. The only truth I found is that the world we live in is a giant tinderbox. All it takes...is someone to light the match" - Captain Price

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Postby Faust » Wed Mar 04, 2009 10:50 am

I actually thought it was an amusing little article. It definitely applies to JRPGs more than their western counterparts. But, it brought back many fond memories of games like Dragon Warrior, Chrono Trigger, and Final Fantasy.

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Postby GawainBS » Wed Mar 04, 2009 11:36 am

Unless, my English is very bad, I think it's quite clear that it is written as a kind of satire. It gave me a good laugh.

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Postby dragon wench » Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:36 pm

@Des,
I'm none too sure how this is fanboyism, and I dislike fanboys (and girls) about as much as you do. But hey... if that is your perception... :D

This reminds me of a website I bumped into yesterday, all about [url="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VideogameTropes"]tropes[/url] seemingly ubiquitous to gaming. :D
[SPOILER]testingtest12[/SPOILER][SIZE="1"]Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

[SPOILER]testingtest12[/SPOILER][color="Silver"].......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.[/size][/color]

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Postby Nightmare » Wed Mar 04, 2009 6:16 pm

GawainBS wrote:Unless, my English is very bad, I think it's quite clear that it is written as a kind of satire. It gave me a good laugh.


Its definitely satire, and quite amusing.

And, actually, its amusing how many of these Baldur's Gate had.
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Postby Nightmare » Wed Mar 04, 2009 7:03 pm

dragon wench wrote:This reminds me of a website I bumped into yesterday, all about [url="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VideogameTropes"]tropes[/url] seemingly ubiquitous to gaming. :D


Annnnnnd I just spent the last hour in class browsing this. I had to stop, since I almost burst out laughing in the middle of a presentation. DW, you've ruined my life. Great link. :D
If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.

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Postby DesR85 » Wed Mar 04, 2009 7:55 pm

dragon wench wrote:@Des,
I'm none too sure how this is fanboyism, and I dislike fanboys (and girls) about as much as you do. But hey... if that is your perception... :D

Reading the title and it's content is enough to tell that it reeks of one. Maybe I read it the wrong way, I don't know, but I sure as hell got fed up of these kind of articles claiming they know better than other people regarding what makes a good game, etc.
''They say truth is the first casualty of war. But who defines what's true? Truth is just a matter of perspective. The duty of every soldier is to protect the innocent, and sometimes that means preserving the lie of good and evil, that war isn't just natural selection played out on a grand scale. The only truth I found is that the world we live in is a giant tinderbox. All it takes...is someone to light the match" - Captain Price

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Postby fable » Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:01 pm

It says something when the boundary between a standard, fanboy-written article and a satire is hard to discern.
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Postby GawainBS » Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:43 am

Come on, you're not going to tell me that you take this seriously? Granted, some points were far to specific to be truelly funny, but the general tone is very clear.
There were some games being parodied (is this an English word?) that I'd give a leg to play again, but I can still see the comical value of the list...

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Postby Nightmare » Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:37 pm

When one of the picture captions is "Sword technology isn't cyclical", the article is not being serious. :laugh:
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Postby dragon wench » Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:16 pm

The whole thing definitely struck me as complete parody...
but.. humour is pretty subjective ;)
[SPOILER]testingtest12[/SPOILER][SIZE="1"]Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

[SPOILER]testingtest12[/SPOILER][color="Silver"].......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.[/size][/color]

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Postby Faust » Thu Mar 05, 2009 7:27 pm

dragon wench wrote:but.. humour is pretty subjective ;)


Apparently so. Though, I'm still not sure how anyone who read or glanced at the actual article could have understood it to be anything other than an attempt at a fun little satire piece. Oh well...to each their own.