I'm bumping this thread, need some opinions on how to deal with a situation.
I've been watching my friend's baby Kiya for months now, 5 days a week while she's in school. I do so, for free, every week, so she can go to school, and not need to get a full-time job just to pay for daycare for her daughter so she can finish school. Now, my friend isn't working at all, she just goes to school and goes home with her daughter. Which, is a lot of work yes, yet here's my problem.
She's usually between 30 minutes-1 1/2 hours late dropping her daughter off to get to school, at least 2 times a week. She doesn't bother to call and inform me she's going to be late at all. Anytime there is a change in schedule, such as her having this past monday off as it was a holiday, she doesn't bother to call me and let me know I won't be needed to watch her daughter, at all usually. I don't get calls if she stays home because she's sick, or anything.
I've been sick this week, and informed her I would still watch Kiya in the event she couldn't find a sitter and was willing to chance my getting her daughter sick. She promised to call me back tonight with an answer of whether I'd be watching her daughter. I JUST, like at 1:45 am, got a message online from a mutual friend saying I wouldn't need to watch the baby later today. She didn't want to call the house this late, so she had her sister call our friend's cell phone and had her message me. Now, she woke our friend up, who has to watch her niece at 6 am today, in order to inform me 8 hours after I called her to let her know I was still sick and wanted her to let me know one way or the other on whether I would be watching her daughter.
I've been friends with this girl for 5 years, and I've always gone out of my way to help her out, whenever she's needed help. I've been her shoulder to cry on, the older brother she's never had, I've even taken care of her now deceased mother in the past when she was ill and needed someone to take care of her because she couldn't herself. I've probably saved the girl close to 3 grand in the past few months, if not more, on daycare costs. Yet, she doesn't bother giving me a call to let me know what's going on. Not even taking a minute out of her day to say "hey, I'll be late", or "I have such and such going on and you don't have to worry about waking up early and watching my daughter on such and such a date".
I'm just completely, horribly fed up with this kind of thing. I mean, even if she was PAYING someone to watch her child, they'd still expect calls regarding these kinds of situations, and if she didn't call in advance, sure as hell they'd still charge her for the day. I'm saving her at least $100-200 a week on daycare, and she doesn't even bother with that common courtesy.
She's extremely stubborn, emotionally distraught from just having lost her mother, stressed at being a single mother, and I'm trying to figure out what to do about this. I've dropped hints, but never come right out and said "call me when this, this and this kind of thing happens". So, that needs to be done. However, I'm at the point now, I'm tempted to just tell her I don't want to deal with it anymore until she can give me a reason to believe she gives a damn and appreciates what I'm doing for her. I mean, I even let her take my cellphone and I'm paying for it so she has one in case her car breaks down with the baby or I need to get ahold of her when I'm watching her daughter. So I know, no matter if her house phone is broken, or if she's not at home, she has a working phone to call me with. I know because every month I get the bill for it still.
Would anyone have any thoughts or opinions on how to handle this? I decided I'm going to have a talk with her this afternoon after she gets out of school. I'm still trying to work out whether it will be more of a talk, or more of my telling her to screw off and call a daycare center and get a job.