| -You attempt to go around to all of local Mafia families to try and convince them that you're the "Nerevarine," but you need their votes to make you Hortator.
-You refer to the Marines as the Warriors Guild and the Navy as the Mages Guild; further, you assert that the only real use for the "Mages Guild" are the "guild guides."
-You are turned down for said Warriors Guild after entering the recruiting office wearing your best set of home-made Dremora armor. You're further incensed when they Recruiting Sargeant refers to you as "outlander."
-Following a rather lengthy stint masterminding insurance fraud in order to support yourself during your Morrowind addiction, the FBI comes to your front door, and with the phrase: "We're watching you," you quickly rush back into the house and stash your Indoril armor.
-Go to the train station and demand a silt strider to New York. When they refuse (or look at you quizzically), you try to cut them in half with a glass sword. It shatters, and you take out a hammer and start trying to repair it. The police watch as their suspect is on his knees in the middle of a train station, pounding on glass shards with an iron hammer, sobbing that "I need to raise my Repair skill!" They stay far away.
-When asked by your guidance councilor what "you want to do with your life," you very non-chalantly state that the corporus cure procured by the master wizards of the Telvenni renders you immune to aging and disease, thus you have entire millenia to decide what to do.
-In an attempt to prove your fulfillment of the Nerevarine prophecy, you storm into a leper colony and start licking the lepers, proudly proclaiming: "Don't worry! I have corporus! I can't get sick!"
-You report to a nearby military base and ask for quests. When you're refused, you add in the addendum question: "Why don't any of your bases end with moth?"
-In a trip to New York City, you ask to be taken to "Lord Vivec." The cabbie looks at you strangely and says, "Why can't you make a reference all of us can get?"
-In anatomy class, you take out a previously unseen hammer and dagger and attack the model heart on top of the teacher's desk, shrieking: "I must stop Dagoth Ur! The Blight must be ended!" and accuse the teacher of "spreading Corporus."
-As your parents get ahold of your long-stashed report cards, you find yourself..
a) Hiding behind empty bookcases.
b) Trying to cast Chameleon.
c) Trying to cast Silence.
-Your friend tries to hook you up with a friend of his, but you show no interest, stating - "The game says I can only date Khajiit."
-Going on this date anyway, you offer to, "Take her on a splendid tour of the Grazelands countryside," but that she, "has to provide your own guar."
-Wonderously procuring an actual guar, she manages to join you not in a tour of the Grazelands, but of the Ashlands. When you once again become lucid, she informs you, "I really liked our trip to New Jersey."
-You approach three very mean, very tough looking men who really don't seem to want to be bothered. Confident of your higher level, you approach them and begin shouting: "Intimidate! Intimidate! Admire!" Once what they can only guess to be Tourettes has subsided, you confidently ask them, "Can I join your Thieves Guild?"
You awake several weeks later in a hospital bed in Bellevue.
-In said hospital, you inquire the doctor as to, "Whether I'll be getting an Exclusive Potion of Healing, or an Expensive Potion of Healing." The doctor quickly looks into his file, and begins laughing. His response is as follows:
"You have an HMO. You're not getting a potion."
-You are rather surreptitiously kicked out of the hospital. You Wait for seven hours (despite some rather concerned stares from hospital staff) and then attempt to sneak in and steal some healing potions, after casting Invis. Security manages to catch you breaking into the narcotics cabinet, and you can only assume Invis failed because of your clothing.
You promptly disrobe and begin running (and jumping) away from the pursuing security officers, naked, though the lobby, meanwhile shouting: "I have 95 athletics! You won't catch me!"  | 
Linear Mode
