Why the chicken crossed the road

Bloodstalker · #1 (**permalink**) 02-07-2002, 08:16 PM

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN KID: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the
establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and
we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has
gone before.
HYPOCRITES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross the road before you
believe it?
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the
road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies
whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this
chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office
2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS (of KFC): I missed one?
HILLARY CLINTON: It was part of a vast right-wing
conspiracy against my husband.
BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road. Not a
single time. Never. (It was a boulevard.)

VoodooDali · #2 (**permalink**) 02-07-2002, 08:26 PM

Jean-Paul Sartre : In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Joseph Stalin : I don't care. Catch it. Crack its eggs to make my omelette.

Karl Marx : It was a historical inevitability.

Darwin : It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Darwin 2: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Oliver North : National Security was at stake.

Pat Buchanan : To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Richard M. Nixon : The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

Ronald Reagan : I don't recall.

Margaret Thatcher : There was no alternative.

SOUTH FLORIDA VOTER : The chickens were clearly confused as to where the dotted yellow line was leading. The only other option was to cross the line, so they did.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!

O.J. Simpson:
It didn't. I was playing golf with the chicken at the time.

Jack Nicholson:
You WANT that chicken on the road. You NEED that chicken on the road. You're just too much of a chicken to be on that road YOURSELF!

Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Georgi · #3 (**permalink**) 02-07-2002, 08:32 PM

This old joke rears its ugly head again, eh?

Bloodstalker · #4 (**permalink**) 02-07-2002, 08:34 PM

I resisted as long as was humanly possible Georgi.

Maharlika · #5 (**permalink**) 02-08-2002, 04:06 AM

Aegis, of the Dark Flame Chronicles: "CLUCK, CLUCK!!!" *need to go back to the Keep to get my form back...*