Why Parents Drink

dragon wench · #1 (**permalink**) 10-14-2007, 04:11 PM

Blame my twisted sense of humour, but I found this pretty funny

Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst
premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have
been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you
would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight
motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's
not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very
happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has
opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll
be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live
nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't
worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure
that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

I could almost see my own kid doing something like this...

Fiberfar · #2 (**permalink**) 10-14-2007, 06:28 PM

That's awesome!

sparky_kat · #3 (**permalink**) 10-14-2007, 07:36 PM

LMAO! makes me wonder if i would ever get a letter like that from my son when he gets to be that age. very very awesome!

Cuchulain82 · #4 (**permalink**) 10-15-2007, 07:22 PM

Ha! Tastefully done DW!

My mommy always told me she drank because I was bad...

(joking- ha ha ha... laugh it up folks)

Siberys · #5 (**permalink**) 10-15-2007, 07:51 PM

Oh hell yeah, that was hilarious! I haven't laughed this hard in a LONG time. Thanks for sharing.

Fahrenheit · #6 (**permalink**) 10-17-2007, 11:04 PM

Daddy drinks because you cry.

clothes100one · #7 (**permalink**) 10-22-2007, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fahrenheit

Daddy drinks because you cry.

I met this before..

Sinister · #8 (**permalink**) 11-01-2007, 05:04 AM

This stirred something in my memory...

{LINE REMOVED}

Cartell · #9 (**permalink**) 11-07-2007, 09:09 PM

Hysterical.... It's sounds like something I would do.

Crenshinibon · #10 (**permalink**) 11-07-2007, 10:41 PM

Wow, that was great. XD XD

Denethorn · #11 (**permalink**) 11-08-2007, 10:37 AM

Why parents drink?

A morbid fear of dehydration.

Loki[D.d.G] · #12 (**permalink**) 11-08-2007, 10:44 AM

Ah, yes. The ugly monster finally rears its head. Without liquid, mankind can't survive. And what better liquid nourishment than good ol' alcohol.

Thankfully both of my parents are fantastic and neither drink. Though my mom has a pretty low alcohol tolerance level. Couple of drops and she goes cross eyed and rosy cheeked.