Waverly’s 9 Circle’s of Hell

Waverly · #1 (**permalink**) 05-08-2001, 09:53 AM

If you have been naughty in your SYM lifetime, one day your login will cease to exist. Perhaps you move on, or get banned, or maybe you deleted your cookies and can’t remember your password. At that time you pass beyond the mortal veil and face judgment. Your heart will be weighed against the volume of Weasel’s posts and you *will* be found unworthy. You will walk alone along an uneven and thorny path to the first circle of hell.
-In the first circle, Craig is online all the time. He asks you questions, flames you, talks pokemon with you…and should you stoop so low as to flame him…
-You enter the second circle. Here Pope reigns as moderator. When he bans you, and he will…
-You enter the third circle. You are greeted by friendly marines. All seems well until you realize they have no pants; and want to remove yours as well. If you can’t satiate them, and believe me you cannot, they will throw you headlong to…
-The forth circle. This is known as Baassie land. You will have many adventures in Baassie land until the supreme being finds you have umpteen user names and expels you in the direction of…
-The fifth circle of hell. You won’t spend much time here. You find that you cannot login and get continuous ‘cannot load errors’.
-In the sixth circle, the monkey shocks you. Not only that, but he buys you into slavery with banana bucks and shares you with his buddy, Darkpetunia. They don’t tire of you soon either, so should you decide to escape, you can only go in one direction:
-And things go from bad to worse. In the seventh circle you find employment at Foul’s company. Not only must you work with Foul, but you must endure the petty torments of his CEO, Ubik. After he has drained you of your will to go on, you are fired and move to
-The eighth circle. No matter what your sex, the denizens of the eighth circle will flirt with you incessantly. These Flaggs, as they are called, will drive you to the brink of madness until you fall through the thin substance of this realm and fall naked and unaware into…
-The ninth and innermost circle of hell. Here you will rot in a never ending array of virtual pubs, discussing the weather in various localities with White Rabbit and other vile evildoers. Foul will sabotage your rating while Weasel repairs you computer.