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05-19-2005, 08:06 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: In the shadow of the mushroom cloud
Posts: 4,470
| | | Tips for all you guys
Okay, listen up men! These are strict rules you must follow for a healthy relationship. I know I'll forget some though, so please add more if you know any. 
- say you love her LOTS everyday, unless you're not that far yet
- give her lots of flowers, but not so many that she gets tired of them -- you'll know, unless you're pretty blind 
- presents are good.  don't make it seem like your desperate, though, or she'll get all "Oh um.. thanks. Another one."
- do NOT try and show off by doing stupid things
- following the above point -- Stupid things include hurting yourself in anyway, hurting other people (unless in defense of her), saying lame pickup lines like, "Woooohoo, girl!" or the "whistle," the low voice that is SO unnatural  putting out your arms and going, "Yeah, that was pretty cool huh? I ROCK!" and many many more.
- if she says she's cold, I mean, come ON, give her your coat and put your arm around her!
- ALWAYS do what she says, unless it involves hurting those you care about, because, then she's just evil.
- say she's beautiful, not just on the outside
- open doors for her
- for goodness sake, don't hit on her friends
- buy her food if she says she's hungry
- take her on romantic dates
- following the above point -- Romantic dates include expensive restaurants, candlelight dinners, suits/ties etc.
- talk maturely
- tell her how many degrees you have, NOT how many times you failed grade seven
- do NOT tell her how many times you go to the gym every week as if you were bragging, don't tell her you don't go to the gym
- do not bring up problems, wait 'til she asks
- let her borrow your stuff (books if you own any , blankets, etc.)
That's all I can think of at the moment.
EDIT:
- be patient
Another one:
- always pretend you know what she's talking about
Last edited by Oscuro_Sol; 05-19-2005 at 08:22 PM.
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05-19-2005, 08:13 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NY
Posts: 16,955
| | Ha, just added that last one in there hmm? Some of those are good and I do them. Others...good luck with that. 
__________________ "You can do whatever you want to me."
"Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?"
"So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone" |
05-19-2005, 08:46 PM
|  | Moderator | | Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Mindlessly floating around.
Posts: 4,209
| | My advice for a healthy relationship is to dump the stereotypes in the dust bin. |
05-19-2005, 08:46 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: In the shadow of the mushroom cloud
Posts: 4,470
| | I second that. |
05-19-2005, 08:48 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: the edge of night
Posts: 1,098
| | | These are the rules that I follow...
Rule #1: Thou shalt not rent Chocolat.
Rule #6: Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
Rule #723 (The Tuxedo Cloaking Rule): A best-man toast must not include any of the following phrases: “down in Tijuana,” “improbably booting out his nose,” “mostly scabbed over,” or “energetic Greco-Roman clusterings.”
Rule #959: You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call crap. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.)
Rule #1,219: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
Rule #1,476: The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late: five minutes. Maximum waiting time: six minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1–10 scale.
Rule #2,475: Do not torpedo single friends: If you’re married and a pal drops by with a date, do not, even after your sixth vodka, blurt out, “So, when are you two gonna walk the plank?” Punishment: Following the assembly instructions for your rug rats’ toys for two years.
Rule #2,650 (The Hand-off Catechism): Before dating a buddy’s ex, you are required to ask his permission; and he, in return, is required to grant it. But he’s fully within his rights to say, “Man, are you gonna love the way she licks your ________.”
Rule #2,738: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.
Rule #4,671: While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies’ girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pals’ significant others — low-level sports bonding is all the law requires. (Sorry, ladies: It’s called a double standard because it’s twice as true.)
Rule #5,888 (The Mercy Rule): When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny, loser friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you’ll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.
Rule #6,521: It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach…and it’s delivered by a topless supermodel…and it’s free.
Rule #7,718 (The Body Heat Rule): A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
Rule #8,000: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
Rule #8,421: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.
Rule #8,580: Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a buddy of yours, except when she’s withholding sex pending your response.
Rule #8,911: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you’re able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; hang up if necessary.
Rule #9,076: When receiving oral gratification while driving, always:
Wear your seat belt.
Close the sunroof.
Smile.
Make extended eye contact with as many women in other cars as possible.
__________________
Those who will play with kitties must expect to be scratched.
Many are cold; few are frozen.
Absence is to love what wind is to fire... it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
Last edited by thantor3; 05-20-2005 at 01:25 AM.
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05-19-2005, 08:48 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NY
Posts: 16,955
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Oscuro_Sol I second that. | *coughs* What about the ones in your tips? 
__________________ "You can do whatever you want to me."
"Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?"
"So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone" |
05-19-2005, 08:49 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: In the shadow of the mushroom cloud
Posts: 4,470
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by thantor3 These are the rules that I follow...
Rule #1: Thou shalt not rent Chocolat. | Gasp! You're not allowed to rent the best movie ever starring Johnny?!
@Maggy, no comment. |
05-19-2005, 08:54 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NY
Posts: 16,955
| | No! 
Ha, that last one, *shakes my head* it's a lot harder the other way around if the girl's driving. Just doesn't work right with the angles and everything.
__________________ "You can do whatever you want to me."
"Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?"
"So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone" |
05-19-2005, 11:52 PM
|  | Member | | Join Date: May 2005 Location: hell aka Idaho
Posts: 11
| | | listening counts for something right, i mean its worked for me in the past |
05-20-2005, 12:57 AM
|  | Moderator and Twisted Sister | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
Posts: 17,852
| | This started out as such an innocent, well-intended thread.....
And then.. just look what happens when one of SYM's libertine old timers makes an appearance...
Honestly, I'm shocked!
__________________
testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain. |
05-20-2005, 01:30 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: the edge of night
Posts: 1,098
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by dragon wench This started out as such an innocent, well-intended thread.....
And then.. just look what happens when one of SYM's libertine old timers makes an appearance...
Honestly, I'm shocked! | *evil grin* Welcome to my world...
BS would be proud.
__________________
Those who will play with kitties must expect to be scratched.
Many are cold; few are frozen.
Absence is to love what wind is to fire... it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great. |
05-20-2005, 01:49 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Soviet Canuckistan
Posts: 13,431
| | Than, I could swear you ripped those right from the Guy's Code I posted some time ago |
05-20-2005, 03:02 AM
|  | Banned | | Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Having an alibi.
Posts: 4,257
| | | |
05-20-2005, 07:19 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NY
Posts: 16,955
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Aegis Than, I could swear you ripped those right from the Guy's Code I posted some time ago | Of course he did, I knew I saw it there.
"- following the above point -- Romantic dates include expensive restaurants, candlelight dinners, suits/ties etc."
That ones total crap on my end. Only time I've gotten into a suit is for weddings and that is NEVER happening again. Those foul inventions are horribly uncomfortable and irritating. 
Whats wrong with cooking a dinner for your lady at home and pampering her? You don't need an expensive restuarant for that.
__________________ "You can do whatever you want to me."
"Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?"
"So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone" |
05-20-2005, 08:21 AM
|  | Moderator | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Wanderlusting with my lampshade, like any decent k
Posts: 5,755
| |  The Men's Room.
Than's post reminds me of the good ol' days when The Men's Room was in business.  ...
... then Mama VooDoo made a major overhaul by decorating the place with flowers and stuff that would make male chauvinistic pigs cry "Sacrilege!"
As not to spam this thread , may I remind you guys to never ever forget important dates.
Last edited by Maharlika; 05-20-2005 at 08:24 AM.
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