| | The Importance of Being Earnest
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10-15-2008, 10:32 PM
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| | LINCOLN, Neb. - A judge has thrown out a Nebraska legislator's lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn't properly served, because of his unlisted home address. State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God.
He said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
Chambers has said he filed the lawsuit to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are rich or poor.
On Tuesday, however, Douglas County District Court Judge Marlon Polk ruled that under state law a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a lawsuit to move forward.
"Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice," Polk wrote.
Hole in the judge's ruling?
Chambers, who graduated from law school but never took the bar exam, thinks he's found a hole in the judge's ruling.
"The court itself acknowledges the existence of God," Chambers said Wednesday. "A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God's omniscience."
Therefore, Chambers said, "Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit."
Chambers has 30 days to decide whether to appeal. He said he hasn't decided yet.
Chambers, who has served a record 38 years in the Nebraska Legislature, is not returning next year because of term limits. He skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians.
In the lawsuit, Chambers said he's tried to contact God numerous times.
"Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon defendant 'Come out, come out, wherever you are,' has been unable to do so,'" Chambers said. 
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Man's most valuable trait is a judicious sense of what not to believe.
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10-15-2008, 10:35 PM
|  | Moderator and Twisted Sister | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
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For God's Sake!
ROFLMAO!!!!! 
Maybe it's because I'm under the influence of about half a bottle of red wine, but reading that just made my evening 
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testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.
Last edited by dragon wench; 10-15-2008 at 10:41 PM.
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10-18-2008, 03:46 AM
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wait... so God's a terrorist now?
seems like everyone gets accused of being a terrorist these days. but God?
seriously?
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10-18-2008, 08:56 AM
|  | GameBanshee Editor | | Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Liberty City, the Netherlands
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People have tried suing God before. God is not a juridical person and thus can't be sued as one, no matter good-faith attempts to contact Him on the case.
I'm confused by the thread title...A...A handbag?!
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10-18-2008, 04:36 PM
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God is everywhere so he is already in jail.
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10-19-2008, 12:03 AM
| | Moderator and Twisted Sister | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
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| |  Quote:
Originally Posted by Claudius  God is everywhere so he is already in jail. | *must resist urge to comment* 
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testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain. | | |
10-19-2008, 08:35 AM
|  | Moderator and Board Bimbo | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The space within
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| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Claudius God is everywhere so he is already in jail. | ROFLMAO
It must be very tedious to be a judge in the US.
__________________ "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Diablo I & II, Dungeon Siege and Space Siege | | |
10-19-2008, 07:43 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Dreamworld
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| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother None People have tried suing God before. | Are you referring to this? ...The Israelites are seeking $4.2 trillion in punitive and compensatory damages.
"My client, the Children of Israel, entered into this covenant with the Defendant in good faith. They were assured, in writing, that in exchange for their exclusive worship of Him, they would be designated His chosen people and, as such, would enjoy His divine protection and guidance for eternity," said Marvin Sachs, the Manhattan attorney bringing the suit on behalf of the Israelites. "Yet, practically from the moment this covenant was signed, the Defendant has exhibited a blatant and willful disregard for its terms."
...Court officers visited the Defendant atop Mount Sinai early this morning, serving Him with papers and setting the legal machinery in motion. Though He has declined comment, lawyers in His employ have already cited multiple points of contention with the Israelite argument, questioning the authenticity of the thousand-year-old hand-inscribed documents and taking issue with the selection of New York, "a city of Israelites," as the trial site.
Kevin Harrigan, chief legal counsel for the Lord, called a press conference Tuesday to read a personal statement from his Client...
...Harrigan responded that God's case is clear under the provisions of New York's commercial code... 
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Man's most valuable trait is a judicious sense of what not to believe.
-- Euripides | | |
10-19-2008, 08:23 PM
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Hahahahaha! Wow... that's AWESOME.
You know what? They oughta hire Daniel Webster to defend their case... He did fine against "Old Scratch", it only seems the next natural step in his career to take on this case, too. | | |
10-19-2008, 11:50 PM
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Only one thing comes to mind when I read this. Ernest | | |
10-20-2008, 10:18 PM
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yeah that was sooo funny when the refridgerator fell on ernest hehe!
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