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03-23-2002, 09:57 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Australia
Posts: 6,323
| | | The greatest Simpsons mystery- what's up with Smithers?
Throughout every episode of the Simpsons I have seen one question still remains unanswered.
Is Waylan Smithers gay?
What do you think?
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03-23-2002, 09:59 AM
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Posts: 2,682
| | | Yes. He has told men that he loves them.
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03-23-2002, 10:03 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Australia
Posts: 6,323
| | | I get the weird feeling that this thread may not last as long as I had hoped it would.
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Proud SLURRite Gunner of the Rolling Thunder (TM) - Visitors WELCOME!
( Feel free to join us for a drink, play some pool or even relax in a hottub - want to learn more?
The soul must be free, whatever the cost.
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03-23-2002, 10:03 AM
|  | Moderator | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Hell if I know
Posts: 15,453
| | Yes, he is......
and he may be a pervy hobbit-fancier 
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03-23-2002, 10:26 AM
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Posts: 30,195
| | | I can't see how this thread can possibly proceed without violating Buck's rules, but I'm open to ideas along that line. Come up with some, and I'll leave it open to discussion.
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03-23-2002, 10:48 AM
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Posts: 296
| | Quote: Originally posted by fable
I can't see how this thread can possibly proceed without violating Buck's rules, but I'm open to ideas along that line. Come up with some, and I'll leave it open to discussion. | Inspired by fable's comment I actually took time to read the SYM rules  and I cannot see how this thread is even close to violating those rules. So far there's only been speculation about sexual orientation of a comic character! This comic character cannot be hurt, whatever we can come up with saying about him. And if we don't make offensive comments against gay people, then what's the problem? Really?!?
Or did I miss the joke here? Nowadays people have problems recognising sarcasm, if it's not underlined with smileys, and I'd hate to be like that too...
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Mom said not to talk to strangers. I asked her what that meant and she said "anyone who looks stranger than your relatives." Except Uncle Sue. I guess. - A boy in Baldur's Gate |
03-23-2002, 12:10 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: May 2001 Location: Springfield
Posts: 4,830
| | Hey! Instead of Ned Flanders, I was very close to selecting Monty Burns as my name. If I had:
1.) This thread would offend me.
2.) I could answer your question.  
Excellent Smithers, or should I say, fabulous.
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03-23-2002, 01:16 PM
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| | | From the Simpsons website
Waylon Smithers
How many people can say they love their jobs as much as Waylon Smithers? As the personal assistant to C. Montgomery Burns, Smithers enjoys an intimacy with power that most people will never experience. His responsibilities include driving Mr. Burns, peddling him on a tandem bike, cleaning and maintaining his denture collection (including Burns' prized fang dentures) and calling employees into Burns' office to be fired. Outside of work, Smithers spends his time collecting Malibu Stacy dolls, using his computer (with its Mr. Burns screensaver) and going on vacation at men's singles resorts. His greatest ambition is for Mr. Burns to respond to his loving devotion; short of that, he'd like to own the latest life-size Malibu Stacy outfit.
From reading the above--if SYMers were Simpson's characters, would Fable be Mr. Burns?
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03-23-2002, 02:46 PM
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| | | Re: From the Simpsons website
Quote: Originally posted by VoodooDali
Waylon Smithers
How many people can say they love their jobs as much as Waylon Smithers? As the personal assistant to C. Montgomery Burns, Smithers enjoys an intimacy with power that most people will never experience. His responsibilities include driving Mr. Burns, peddling him on a tandem bike, cleaning and maintaining his denture collection (including Burns' prized fang dentures) and calling employees into Burns' office to be fired. Outside of work, Smithers spends his time collecting Malibu Stacy dolls, using his computer (with its Mr. Burns screensaver) and going on vacation at men's singles resorts. His greatest ambition is for Mr. Burns to respond to his loving devotion; short of that, he'd like to own the latest life-size Malibu Stacy outfit. | LOL! Not to mention listening to his "It's raining men" record. So, either his gay, or he really enjoys his work and likes his boss, "happens" to have sort of unusual interests and hobbies and does not date with women much... Quote: Originally posted by VoodooDali
From reading the above--if SYMers were Simpson's characters, would Fable be Mr. Burns? | "Excellent! In that case I think I would be Hans Moleman.
No! Wait! I am Hans Moleman.........
"I'm really 30 years old. Alcohol ruined my body"....
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-moleman-
Mom said not to talk to strangers. I asked her what that meant and she said "anyone who looks stranger than your relatives." Except Uncle Sue. I guess. - A boy in Baldur's Gate |
03-23-2002, 02:52 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: UHM, Hawaii
Posts: 89
| | Don't forget "Homer's Phobia" when Whalen and John meet in the diner.
Smither: "John!"
John: "Uhhh, Whalen! Meet the Simpsons."
Smithers: "I know the Simpsons....So this is your sick mother?"
John: "Don't do this to me, Whalen..."
I think it's perfectly obvious. Smithers can be none other than Whalen Smithers, Jr.
And let's leave it at that.
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03-23-2002, 05:07 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 5,573
| | Smithers is so far out of the closet that I can't see how there can be any doubt about his sexual orientation. Witness his computer startup: An almost nude digital rendering Mr. Burns that says (words cut and pasted from various different sentences) "Hello Smithers. You're quite good at turning me on." Then there's a more recent episode where we find out that Smither's father was killed saving the power plant from meltdown but Burns told Waylon that his father was killed by a tribe of savage women (didn't have any effect on him http://www.soccerforums.com/images/s...lleyes_ani.gif). And how can we forget his fantasy about Mr. Burns flying in through his bedroom window? http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/eek.gif The real question is why he's attracted to a 104 year old man who's completly evil. http://www.buffybb.net/boards/confused.gif I think it’s a nice twist though. How many villains have flunkies totally devoted to them? At least with Smithers we find out why he’s loyal. http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/wink.gif
__________________ Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Last edited by Kayless; 03-23-2002 at 05:10 PM..
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03-23-2002, 05:32 PM
| | Super Moderator | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The sun, the moon, and the stars.
Posts: 30,195
| | Okay, I'll buy it, though I never thought you'd be able to navigate the snickering pitfalls of this one. We've had far more innocent threads go so far to hell that Buck jumped in, breathing sulfur and closing things down.
And no, I don't think I'd be Mr. Burns. I'm not rich, and I don't focus on money, because I'm an idiot. Maybe I could pass at times for that Scottish guy who shows up, growling at people.
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To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe. |
03-23-2002, 09:30 PM
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Posts: 614
| | | Most evidence would definitely suggest that Smithers is gay, and I personally believe he is. But here's some evidence that says he's probably not gay, but desparately lacks a father-figure. Smither's dead is killed in a nuclear accident when he is very young. Mr. Burns told him that a band of Amazon woman killed his father. I think this is where the women-phobia begins. I think Smithers lacks a masculine figure, and Mr. Burns isn't exactly man-material. He's more like a withered corpse. So Smithers sees Mr. Burns as a father figure, and harbors some sort of obsession due to ridicoulously amount of time spent with Burns.
The real question is: Are Lenny and Karl gay?
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The Church could use someone like that.
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03-24-2002, 02:08 AM
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| | Quote: Originally posted by fable
And no, I don't think I'd be Mr. Burns. I'm not rich, and I don't focus on money, because I'm an idiot. Maybe I could pass at times for that Scottish guy who shows up, growling at people. | So you are really muscular fellow who wears a skirt?!?!?
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-moleman-
Mom said not to talk to strangers. I asked her what that meant and she said "anyone who looks stranger than your relatives." Except Uncle Sue. I guess. - A boy in Baldur's Gate |
03-24-2002, 03:33 AM
| | Super Moderator | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The sun, the moon, and the stars.
Posts: 30,195
| | Quote: Originally posted by Moleman
So you are really muscular fellow who wears a skirt?!?!? | No; and I really don't want to know how your unique system of logic operates.
But if it makes you feel any better, I enjoy bagpipe music on occasion. And I've got a friend who wears a philibeg. 
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