The Comm and Spammer Deprogramming Thread.

Waverly · #1 (**permalink**) 01-31-2002, 08:37 AM

Perhaps I was a bit harsh with the members of these two groups. I treated them as if they were willing participants in the madness to which they were a party, when in actuality the truth may be quite different. They are cult members and need intervention and a deprogramming.

1. Receiving of a moving and or spiritual message from an authority figure who seeks to control the ideology of members. - can you say Weasel?
2. Special set of rules that you must obey or be cast out. - applies to both groups
3. Promises of reward in this life or the next for the faithful; retribution for the opposition. - follow the light, commers?
4. Sacrificing personal assets to the cause. - Send all your money to Weasel?
5. Unnatural strong kinship between members. - not to mention homoerotic undertones
6. Leaders of eccentric or even neurotic pathology. - Need I mention him again?
7. The spiritual group demands that you accept its teachings without reservation. - we’ve seen how doubters are treated
8. Unabashed recruitment of new members. - check on both groups
9. Exclusion of non members from the lives of members. - they actually seem to be at war
10. Teachings that member may need to make extreme sacrifices for the good of the group. - Weasel did tell them to take on Waverly, did he not?

I’m going to call up our old, and slightly less evil, friend Doc Waverly to assist in deprogramming the cult members. The office is now open, and the Doc is in.

Aegis · #2 (**permalink**) 01-31-2002, 09:10 AM

good... the doc is back. I need some more pills...

Waverly · #3 (**permalink**) 01-31-2002, 09:49 AM

Aegis I’m glad you stopped by. I see the electro-convulsive therapy I prescribed during your last visit didn’t take. A shame. If you are suggesting a chemical lobotomy, you may well be on to something, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

If you can renounce spam, post a meaningful topic for discussion, and ask out a real live girl your own age; we shall consider you far enough on the road to recovery that I may not need to fry part of you cerebrum.

Ned Flanders · #4 (**permalink**) 01-31-2002, 09:49 AM

I'll concur with aegis there. He's been complaining regularly in the tavern of being plugged up. Perhaps if you could set him up with another jar of BowelMax, you'd be doing him a great service.

I, for one, hold no allegiance to spammers or COMMers, and have yet to be approached by servants of either sect. I cannot say if that is a good or bad thing.

Waverly · #5 (**permalink**) 01-31-2002, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ned Flanders
I, for one, hold no allegiance to spammers or COMMers, and have yet to be approached by servants of either sect. I cannot say if that is a good or bad thing. [/b]

My first success! This is much easier than the manual said it was going to be. I didn't even need to break out the rosary beads or Malleus Maleficarum.

Go forth and prosper, Ned.

Aegis · #6 (**permalink**) 01-31-2002, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Waverly
Aegis I’m glad you stopped by. I see the electro-convulsive therapy I prescribed during your last visit didn’t take. A shame. If you are suggesting a chemical lobotomy, you may well be on to something, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

If you can renounce spam, post a meaningful topic for discussion, and ask out a real live girl your own age; we shall consider you far enough on the road to recovery that I may not need to fry part of you cerebrum.

I don't know about the chemical stuff.. But the topic sounds like a plan. Oh yeah, just FYI, I do have a real girlfriend.

Bloodstalker · #7 (**permalink**) 01-31-2002, 11:11 AM

As is the case with Ned, I have no allegieance to Spam or COMM, I think this raises an interesting point. Perhaps a high enough alcohol level in the blood renders one immune.

I may have to test this theory.

CM · #8 (**permalink**) 01-31-2002, 11:18 AM

ok de-programme me.

Bloodstalker · #9 (**permalink**) 01-31-2002, 11:21 AM

CM? I am shocked!

C Elegans · #10 (**permalink**) 01-31-2002, 11:23 AM

COMMers and SPAMers, beware! Whereas doc Waverly's initiative to reprogram you from brainwash by destructive cults is honorable, it might also hold a hidden danger. During a deprogram process you are extremely vulnerably to new influences, especially so from the person who is re-programming you. You don't want to end up following Waverly instead, do you?