Soulmates, do you believe that there truly is only one out there?

[Moonbiter]

Being the romantic that I am, I prefer to skip the analytical explanations for "soulmates" and believe that there is such a thing. I have seen people like my mom & dad and just recently another couple merge so completely that there has to be, IMHO, something else than the trite "chemistry" explanation involved. When I met my wife I had all but given up on finding a partner to share my life with. "Love" was a negative word that made me cringe and run in the opposite direction. Then I got picked up one late summer night while I was bored out of my skull at a posh "do," and I've never looked back. We share such an incredible empathy, bordering on telepathy, from the first moment we met, that I can't say there isn't something like "soulmates." To disregard the notion would be robbing myself and everyone else of both hope and faith. Most recently she was in Mali, filming the mating habits of the Fuzzballed Goondorpher or something like that (yes, she does that for a living) when I got hit with a minor heart condition and ended up in the hospital. While I was there, the wifey calls on a satellite phone and asks if everything is all right, because she's had a bad feeling all day. We usually get in touch once each week, and this was completely out of sync. If that ain't "soulmates" then nothing is. Just my humble 50 cents (or øre, as it is)

[Naffnuff]

Since the thread subject was formulated into a question, I will give you my honest opinion about soulmateship. I think it is for neurotic people, who have to tell themselves that they are in love and therefore their lives worthwile.

However, I do believe in God (though not in God the Man), in Providence (sometimes), and in love at first sight. I certainly had a strong feeling of all three when I met my wife, four years ago. But since, I have felt an equal measure of bitter strife and the necessity to adapt my own soul to that of another person, a process both painful and rewarding.

Having rigid preconceptions about the way things such as love should be is never a good idea; in fact it may even destroy a potentially healthy relationship. Instead, I say try to tackle life with a great deal of amor fatis, that is an acceptance of your life, along with whatever surprises it may hold in store for you. Conversely, looking for perfection, you may easily see your life go by without having the least appreciation of it.

But since you two seem to get along really nice, there is no good reason why things should not work out for you. Good luck!

[Moonbiter]

Originally Posted by Naffnuff

But since you two seem to get along really nice, there is no good reason why things should not work out for you. Good luck!

Eh? Was that last one directed at me? Start quoting, please. Oh, and it's completly incomprehensible. Here we have people who claim to believe in magic, witchcraft, God(s), and whathavye, and yet they're stomping the notion of soulmates. Nice going. BTW and besides the point, Ultima Thule is NOT Sweden, but actually Norway or Iceland, maybe Greenland. With regards from the possibly neurotic one.

[Naffnuff]

Originally Posted by Moonbiter

Eh? Was that last one directed at me? Start quoting, please. Oh, and it's completly incomprehensible. Here we have people who claim to believe in magic, witchcraft, God(s), and whathavye, and yet they're stomping the notion of soulmates. Nice going. BTW and besides the point, Ultima Thule is NOT Sweden, but actually Norway or Iceland, maybe Greenland. With regards from the possibly neurotic one.

Actually, it was not directed at you, but at the creator of the thread. I did not even see your last post until I had already posted mine. I do not see why you should take offence; I merely stated my opinion, as you did yours. Maybe we do not agree--so what?

(As for the location of Thule, the term was coined by the Greeks to designate lands which were incomprehensibly far north, such as Britain or Scandinavia. As the Greeks did not travel that much at this time (Herodotus is plainly in the dark even as to the affairs of Persia), geography was quite confused, and such fine points as "Greenland" or "Iceland" were not even invented; sometimes such terms as Hyperborea or Thule could even designate northern Greece! Much later, Roman adventurers are believed to have travelled to Scandinavia, which, respecting ancient tradition, they called "Thule." Such terms as "Ultima Thule" arose to capture the extreme location of such lands, which were now discovered to be even more distant than previously thought. And since I too sometimes feel the remoteness and insular character of my own country, I chose to continue this tradition. The reference to Greenland, however, is a convention of the Middle Ages.)

[Vicsun]

Not only do I not believe in soulmates, I think belief in a perfect partner (which is what I take most of you mean by soulmate) is unhealthy and will ultimately lead to disappointment. People aren't perfect, and the romantic notion of someone who is will ultimately lead to a let-down as minor flaws are magnified by unrealistic expectations

[Lady Dragonfly]

@Moonbiter

Here we have people who claim to believe in magic, witchcraft, God(s), and whathavye, and yet they're stomping the notion of soulmates. Nice going.

Since I don't believe even in "whathavye" I feel qualified to indulge in stomping the notion of soulmates to my heart's content.

...when I got hit with a minor heart condition and ended up in the hospital. While I was there, the wifey calls on a satellite phone and asks if everything is all right, because she's had a bad feeling all day. We usually get in touch once each week, and this was completely out of sync. If that ain't "soulmates" then nothing is.

So, how does it actually work, in your opinion? Does your soul (or if you don't believe in souls, which part of your body -- heart? limbic system? a mysterious whathavye?) send special long-distance signals through the “Aether” that her soul receives? And vise versa? I am curious, no offense.

[Naffnuff]

It is funny, because for all this talk about "soulmates," I do not think I have ever actually witnessed something even remotely like it. True, I have seen a few couples that have seemed reasonably happy and quite a few ones that have lasted. But they have all had their moments of crisis, and it is clear that in those cases both parties have had incentives besides love to stay in that partnership.

Marriage was an invention of human culture; when we were still in our animal state, everyone had many partners during his lifetime. Look at other animals, they will go for anything within reach, even switching between the sexes. So in many ways it is probably very contrary to our natures to be tied to one another in these alliances, but it is also exactly such forms of bondage that make us civilized. But as with many other things pertaining to civilized society, it is not necessarily pleasurable, and so it is sometimes tempting to indulge in Romantic fantasies that help to gloss over more prosaic realities. Especially if one has too much time on one's hands.

[fable]

Originally Posted by Naffnuff

Marriage was an invention of human culture; when we were still in our animal state, everyone had many partners during his lifetime. Look at other animals, they will go for anything within reach,

Not true. It differs from species to species, and frequently within each species between types. For example, the Emperor Penguin changes mates each year, while the so-called Little Penguin is (usually) fiercely faithful throughout life to its chosen mate.

...even switching between the sexes.

Not in most cases, no. At least, not outside Baptist and Pentacostal preachers.

[Lady Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by fable

For example, the Emperor Penguin changes mates each year, while the so-called Little Penguin is (usually) fiercely faithful throughout life to its chosen mate.

Haven't you heard about German gay Penguins?

Ananova - Zoo tempts gay penguins to go straight

EDIT: Apparently, Swedish Penguins are straight

[fable]

Originally Posted by Lady Dragonfly

Haven't you heard about Swedish gay Penguins?

Ananova - Zoo tempts gay penguins to go straight

It sounds like a modern Swedish analog of what the Florentine gerentocracy tried by running a brothel, when their young men were becoming increasingly homosexual. Do you think there is any relationship between gay Florentine Renaissance noblemen, and modern Swedish penguins?

And no, I don't mean relationship in that sense of the word. Only one Swedish penguin has discovered its soulmate in a Florentine named Guido.

[Lady Dragonfly]

Only one Swedish penguin has discovered its soulmate in a Florentine named Guido.

I don't want to know.

[Siberys]

Interesting perspectives, can't say as I agree with some of them but to each his own.

Originally Posted by fable

The lust is pretty good, too, but that's none of your business, so please, stop bringing it up.

Thanks.

Was this meant as sarcasm? Pretty sure I didn't mention anything about lust. (Sorry, internet is hard to tell sarcasm and seriousness apart without smileys, and I like many hate the use of smileys anyway.)

[Claudius]

Universal love (unconditional and granted to every being) is much more important than that granted to just one being. Soulmate is just a deep heart connection.

[Moonbiter]

Originally Posted by Lady Dragonfly

@Moonbiter


Since I don't believe even in "whathavye" I feel qualified to indulge in stomping the notion of soulmates to my heart's content.



So, how does it actually work, in your opinion? Does your soul (or if you don't believe in souls, which part of your body -- heart? limbic system? a mysterious whathavye?) send special long-distance signals through the “Aether” that her soul receives? And vise versa? I am curious, no offense.

None taken. I quite frankly don't know how it works. I'm not religious as such, but I must admit that life and experience has shown me numerous examples of that undefinable "something else" that I can't quite name. Call it "spirit," a "sixth sense" or "The Force" or something. Also I don't think a Soulmate needs to be someone you shack up with, it can be a friend or a sibling. Anyone you share an extreme emotional bond with. I fully understand that people who haven't experienced it may scoff at the notion, but there is IMHO definitely something else out there that causes some people to merge on a deeper level.

[fable]

Originally Posted by Siberys

Was this meant as sarcasm? Pretty sure I didn't mention anything about lust. (Sorry, internet is hard to tell sarcasm and seriousness apart without smileys, and I like many hate the use of smileys anyway.)

Yes, it was. You just need to search in this thread on "lust" to see that nobody else had brought it up, before I did.

Oh, and it's completly incomprehensible. Here we have people who claim to believe in magic, witchcraft, God(s), and whathavye, and yet they're stomping the notion of soulmates. Nice going.

So because I have one set of beliefs outside the mainstream, I must embrace all sets of beliefs outside the mainstream. Which makes a lot of sense.