Phone Phobia

[dragon wench]

I just ended up doing a followup call with somebody to whom I had sent my resume.

Though I got through it fine, and while I've done this sort of thing often enough, I still found myself uneasy and nervous. Indeed, I had been putting off this particular item on my "to do list" for a few days.


*rolls eyes* I don't know what it is, but I have always been uneasy with the phone. When it comes to chatting with friends, I have gotten over my dislike of the thing (especially since many of my friends are long distance), but at one time I didn't even like to do that.

I'm fine in person, I'm fine in forums, IMs, PMs, and emails, but for some odd reason I've never been entirely comfortable with the phone.


Is it just me who is a bit phone phobic?"

[Luis Antonio]

Me. nothing like a chat window or a conversation face to face. In fact, the phone makes me feel strange... ever since I was a child. My mom would stand by my side telling me what to ask/say and after that I was never confortable with the phone anymore.

[Ravager]

Me too, I've always had that, stemming from the habit I had when I was young to start giggling in front of large group of people.
That has fortunately improved a great deal, and should continue to now I'll be dealing with the public quite a lot.
It was a confidence issue for me.
The more practice I get, the better I am with such things, I suppose.

Another thing, I don't bother with a mobile phone.

[Juniper]

Talking on the phone is part my job..i answer 25 incoming lines in the office..so, phone conversation just comes easily to me, regardless if i know the person or its a perfect stranger. When home, i rarely talk on the phone...tho i have been known to make conversation with telemarketers

[Lestat]

If it's someone I met face to face before then, no, I call easily. And some of the people I know well,... well just let me put it this way: some of them I won't be finished in less then 10 minutes...

But calling people I never met face to face still got me nervous for a long time... but less and less so, especially since for my jobs I had to call regularly people I didn't know or receive calls from people I didn't know (and sometimes receive abuse and remain polite).

[JonIrenicus]

Well I had that for a while. I still don't like talking on the phone verse talking in person. Much of my "talking" is physical actions (such as hand gestures or facial expressions). The only times I really talk on the phone is when one of my dude friends calls me and it lasts for like under a minute ("whats up? you want to do something" "ok"). The other time is when I talk to my female friends which can last quite some time.

[Aztaroth]

Well... I actually don't get nervous. Ever. But if I did, I imagine I would have your "phone phobia"... For some reason, I find it very awkward (is that how you spell it?) to talk on the phone with anyone... I can never keep up a conversation with someone over the phone... I think it's because of my habit of trying to "read" a person by their reactions to what is said and similar things... I can't do it by voice alone. Or rather, I can, but it requiers concentration that isn't possible during a conversation...

Oh, the joy of over-analyzing trivialities!

[C Elegans]

Phone phobia is a very common subaspect of social phobia or social anxiety. Social phobia is the most common of all specific phobias. This is not surprising considering how important acceptance from the group have been during evolution. Among subaspects of social phobia, talking in front of a group is the most common "aversive stimuli", ie situation that trigger anxiety and/or other unpleasant reactions. Usually the social phobia reaction is triggered in situations where you expect to be assessed or judged in some way, or when you are expected to perform something. Other common aversive stimuli are entering a room full of people (most people with social phobia and social fear do not like others to look at them), introducing yourself to a stranger and eating in front of other people.

Regarding phones, my guess (although I don't think it has been investigated) is that for some people, the lack of visual cues makes the social situation feel worse. Visual cues is a large part of how we humans orient ourselves in the world, and it varies between individuals to what extent visual cues are used in social interaction. If you are a person who both has social anxiety/phobia, and also rely much on visual cues in social interaction, then you are probably much more prone to develop phone phobia than for instance a person like me who has 0 social anxiety and do not use visual cues to a large extent in social interaction. To me, it is no difference at all to speak to a a person by phone or face to face except practical differences. For instance, if the other person is in a noisy environment, it is more difficult to hear what s/he is saying due to the selective hearing not working well over the phone plus you cannot compensate missed sounds with lip-reading. That's also why it is more difficult to speak by phone with people in languages I'm not good at.
Something else that is not working over phone is turn-taking cues. Face to face you have several cues as to when a person is going to stop and start talking. Over the phone you have only the semantic content plus breathing, if you can hear it. This is why it's much more difficult to have 10-people phone meetings than real meetings! When I speak by phone with those of my friends who are as talkative as I am, we constantly end up talking simultaneously.

[Aztaroth]

*applause*

[dragon wench]

Good to know it is not just me!

I think CE has nailed it on the head with regard to cues.

When I write in something like an email it is completely detached from cues (or it can be), but I also have the luxury of being able to carefully consider every word and phrase, if I so choose.
If I am speaking with somebody face-to-face, there is no shortage of cues.

But, on the phone there are only partial cues. You get tone of voice, pauses etc. However, you do not get facial gestures and body language, and I think this combination can be a cause for nervousness and unease.

@Azteroth,
yeah.. I don't consciously read people when I'm face-to-face, but I know I do it at a subliminal level, so I identify with what you are saying.

@Lestat,
If I have already spoken to somebody on the phone, it is also far easier for me.

@Juni,
lol! Erm... I sometimes have great fun with telemarketers myself...

@Rav,
I do have a mobile, but only a few people actually have the number. Mostly I just use it for my own convenience (rather than the convenience of others )

@Luis,
*shudders* no wonder you feel traumatised by the phone

[penguin_king]

i've always been uneasy with phones because in movies you always see people tapping phone lines, i don't know why i'd be a target of such tapping.... thay want my brain i'm telling you! nobody believes me! they're after my precious mind!

[shana]

I have always enjoyed talking on the phone. In junior high, that was my main daily activity, and I can still go for hours when talking to friends. My phobia comes into play when I have to leave a message on an answering machine/service. I will start getting nervous, and always end up sounding like a complete idiot.

[Fiona]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shana I have always enjoyed talking on the phone. In junior high, that was my main daily activity, and I can still go for hours when talking to friends. My phobia comes into play when I have to leave a message on an answering machine/service. I will start getting nervous, and always end up sounding like a complete idiot.

Now that I can relate to

@ PK. Of course they do, darling, of coooouursse they do

[Ashen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shana I have always enjoyed talking on the phone. In junior high, that was my main daily activity, and I can still go for hours when talking to friends. My phobia comes into play when I have to leave a message on an answering machine/service. I will start getting nervous, and always end up sounding like a complete idiot.

*raises hand*

Exactly the same thing here. I talk on the phone for hours, can't live without it really. Most of my friends are exactly the same, long, long conversations about everything and nothing, even if we saw each other five minutes ago. But give me an answering machine and my usual first word is .. Um. Gah. All language skills go out the window. Have no idea why.

[Chimaera182]

Yeah, I'm a lot like all that. I've never been that comfortable with phones, although I can call people I know just fine. It's people I don't know that I can't call. I even have trouble making a doctor's appointment, but I can call a friend no problem. Although one friend who moved away I haven't been able to call.