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Old 01-18-2007, 01:55 PM
thantor3's Avatar
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Ode to the R.I.A.A.

From David Pogue, who writes for the NY Times. Pretty funny stuff.





Ode to the R.I.A.A.

Ever since I phased out my career as a Broadway arranger and conductor, I've tried to keep my toe in the showbiz world in my own peculiar way: I write new, tech-industry lyrics to old melodies.Here's my very latest. It's a special tribute to the R.I.A.A., the Recording Industry Association of America - the organization of the record companies who've decided to fight music piracy by filing lawsuits. It goes to the tune of the Village People song "Y.M.C.A." Ready? Cue the disco drums!



"R.I.A.A."

Young man,
You were surfing along,
And then, young man,
You downloaded a song,
And then, dumb man,
Copied it to your 'Pod,
Then a phone call came to tell you:

You've just been sued by the R.I.A.A.!
You've just been sued by the R.I.A.A.!
Their attorneys say, you committed a crime,
And there'd better not be a next time!

They've lost their minds at the R.I.A.A.!
Justice is blind at the R.I.A.A....
"You're depriving the bands! You are learning to steal,
You can't do whatever you feel!"

Know what?
They're a lawsuit machine.
They say so what
If you're only thirteen?
And you know what?
They were equally mean
To an 80-year-old grandma!

CD
Sales have dropped every year,
They're not greedy -
They're just quaking with fear,
Yes, indeedy -
What if their end is near,
And we download all our music?

They'd all freak out at the R.I.A.A.-
No plastic discs from the R.I.A.A.!
What a way to make friends! It's a plan that can't fail:
Haul your customers off to jail!

And who'll be next for the R.I.A.A.?
What else is vexing the R.I.A.A.?
Maybe whistling a tune? Maybe humming along?
Maybe mocking them in a song-!

(The sound of jackboots bursting into the room...handcuffs...muffled cries...a columnist being dragged away... repeat and fade.)
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Old 01-18-2007, 02:13 PM
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lol! Pretty much sums it up!

Not that I'm advocating illegal downloads here (), but that piece certainly highlights the utter greed of the music industry, and then some!
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Old 01-18-2007, 09:24 PM
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Neat find there.

The problem is, most musicians, successful and signed or not, made next to nothing. It's the record companies that make a killing, and the bands who get screwed. My step-father has an employee, the former guitarist for a band that put out 2 or 3 metal albums, called Omniblank. I happen to have been a fan of the band. However, he and his bandmates only made money from selling hats, t-shirts, etc at concerts. Even with mildly decent record sales, they made pennies per CD sold.

A modern band which is fairly well known with a lot of talent, Tool, got screwed over for the first 4 years or so after they were signed and made it big. Why? Not because of lack of creativity. No. They sold millions and millions and millions of albums. They didn't get rich though. They were dirt poor despite their success. The record label's deal with them was horrible, and it was a long term contract. Forcing them to put out a certain amount of albums over I think a 7 year run. Including a certain amount of touring per album. They worked constantly for barely enough money to make it from show to show.

All in all, stealing music isn't really hurting most artists, just the record label executives. Which is why there has been a slow but steady boom of indie labels and bands that make it big going towards them. Not to mention the movement around my area of the metal/hardcore bands refusing to be signed outright. Instead, they work together to get shows put together and print of CD's the same way anyone would to mass produce illegally copied ones. A computer setup with 2-3 burners and lots of stacks of CD's. Then sell them for $5-$12 a piece to pay for recording time in a studio and mastering costs. At $0.30 a blank disc, the cash adds up if you sell 100 or so over 2-3 months. Nothing to get rich and buy a mansion with. Enough to help pay off expenses like new guitar strings and drum heads and the like though.
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