Just thought I’d post some of my favorite quotes from Springfield’s oldest millionaire and resident tyrant. Enjoy!
Burns: "Look at that pig, stuffing his face with donuts on my time. That's right, keep eating. Little do you know you're drawing closer, ever closer to the poison donut... There is a poison one, isn't there, Smithers?"
Smithers: "Actually, sir, I discussed it with our lawyers, and they, uh, consider it murder."
Burns: "Damn their oily hides!"
"Hahaha! Smithers, this reminds me of that fat man I used to ride to work!!"
Burns: "Smithers... *sniff* Do you think maybe… the power plant killed those ducks?"
Smithers: "No 'maybe' about it sir."
Burns: *sniff* "Excellent."
Mr. Burns (
as the alien): "I bring you love!"
Lenny: "It's bringing love! Don't let it get away!"
Carl: "Break its legs!"
"Look at me!!! I'm Davey Crockett!" [
after putting Homer’s brain on his head]
Burns: "Smithers, I've designed a new plane, I call it the Spruce Moose, it will carry 200 passengers from New York's Eidlywilde airport to the Belgian Congo in 17 minutes!!"
Smithers:"That's quite a nice model sir."
Burns: "Model?"
Burns: “Ah yes my Power plant. Come on Smithers hop in, we'll take the Spruce Moose!”
Smithers:“But Sir.”
Burns: [
pulls a gun] “I said Hop in.”
"I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing there are too many fat children."
"I'll keep it short and sweet. Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business."
"Poppin' Fresh! You gluttonous little dough boy!"
Burns: “Smithers, I want you to have the Rolling Stones killed.”
Smithers: “But sir, that was the Ramones.”
Burns: “Do as I say!”
Kent Brockman: "Ah, Mr. Burns, you mentioned you wanted an opening tirade?"
Burns: "Yes, thank you, Kent. Fifteen minutes from now I will wreak a terrible vengeance on the city. No one will be spared. NO ONE!"
Kent Brockman: "Haha, a chilling vision of things to come."
Smithers: "Sorry to interrupt your longevity treatment sir, but there's a sweet little boy at the door."
Burns: "Release the hounds!"
"It's ironic, that this anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail! That's democracy for you."
"Oh, so mother nature needs a favor? Well, maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys."
"Perhaps this energy conservation fad is as dead as a dodo."
"Now my voice is giving out so I’m just going to poke you for the next hour or so".
[ 08-11-2001: Message edited by: Kayless ]
Mr. Burns quotes 
Linear Mode
