Love and death metal

[Lady Dragonfly]

This piece of 'Advice on manners and morals' caught my attention today:

My Bloody Valentine
How do I convince my boyfriend that death metal is not mood music?

Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend is absolutely not a sadistic sex killer. He is a kind and generally considerate person. But he loves listening to gruesome death metal—music best described as blasting noise with deranged growls and shrieks that often (from what I can tell) celebrates horrendous misogynistic violence. He respects that I am not a fan of this music and doesn't usually play it when I am around. But he gets a huge charge from listening to it when we have sex and is comparatively lackluster at the deed when he doesn't have it to fire him up. Although I find the music unpleasant and distracting, I don't object when I feel focused enough to block it out. What really bothers me are the awful themes. It disturbs me that a seemingly well-adjusted man in his 30s is aroused by torture fantasies set to music. He says it's just about the "energy" for him, but I really don't know what to think about someone who wants to listen to Cannibal Corpse when he makes love to me. Am I being oversensitive about this?

—Blasted

Dear Blasted,
It's always a comfort to know the person you love is not a sadistic sex killer—so right there you have something to build on. I like the image of you two making love: He's cranking up Cannibal Corpse's romantic classic "Bloody Chunks" while you're sticking in the ear buds of your iPod and desperately turning up the volume on Michael Bublé's version of "I've Got You Under My Skin." When you're not having sex, you say he's "generally considerate," which is not exactly a declaration that "I've got you under my skin/ I've got you deep in the heart of me/ So deep in my heart, that you're really a part of me." But couples need to have sex, and he finds it hard to perform unless you are forced to listen to songs of female dismemberment. As you describe it, you get through these sessions by trying to disassociate yourself from what is going on. This does not sound like a formula for sustained intimacy. I don't think you're being oversensitive about the gruesome nature of your boyfriend's favorite erotic imagery, especially since you are supposed to endure it. I have a hard time seeing where this relationship is headed—it already sounds like a Cannibal Corpse.

—Prudie

heh heh... cough... ahem... what?

[dragon wench]

lmao!
I'm not sure I know what to say...

lol! and I thought it was bad enough when one of my boyfriends considered Bob Dylan to be "mood music."

[penguin_king]

im not sure... what... to... what??

[Lady Dragonfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by penguin_king im not sure... what... to... what??

What?

Anyone else 'gets a huge charge' from listening to death metal?

[Tricky]

Not at all. I just stop thinking for a few minutes, then all the blood flows to the lower parts of my body.

[dragon wench]

I have to confess..
When I initially read this, the first thought to pop into my head was something along the lines of... "The makers of Cialis and Viagra have competition!"
Immediately afterwards I ended up with a mental image of Death Metal being blasted out of senior's homes everywhere.....

[Lady Dragonfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tricky Not at all. I just stop thinking for a few minutes, then all the blood flows to the lower parts of my body.

I should try that one day.

@DW

Quote:

Immediately afterwards I ended up with a mental image of Death Metal being blasted out of senior's homes everywhere.....

[C Elegans]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragon wench lol! and I thought it was bad enough when one of my boyfriends considered Bob Dylan to be "mood music."

LOL For me there is no such thing as "mood music", but there is certainly anti-mood music. Once in my youth, I picked up a very handsome young man from a vernissage. It should be mentioned that the art gallery in question was very arty and avant-guard and the audience was very "cultural elite" and pretentious. Anyway, when we came to his place, the guy put on Bruce Springsteen. For a moment I considered leaving, but since he was a nice a very handsome bloke, I just asked him to turn the music off. He did so, and looked genuinely surprised when he asked me "don't you like Bruce Springsteen?"

[Claudius]

What? Don't you like Bruce Springsteen?

(And no it wasn't me hehe)

[DesR85]

That sounds exactly like what you'd expect from a GTA talk-radio satire. Pretty silly and enough to roll on the floor laughing.

As for music 'charging' me up, no. The type of music that affects me are those with heavy beats, coupled with a pretty high-powered sub-woofer. It doled out beats so heavy that it felt as if my heart want to jump out of my body. Nearly thought that I was having a heart attack.

[dragon wench]

Quote:

Originally Posted by C Elegans LOL For me there is no such thing as "mood music", but there is certainly anti-mood music. Once in my youth, I picked up a very handsome young man from a vernissage. It should be mentioned that the art gallery in question was very arty and avant-guard and the audience was very "cultural elite" and pretentious. Anyway, when we came to his place, the guy put on Bruce Springsteen. For a moment I considered leaving, but since he was a nice a very handsome bloke, I just asked him to turn the music off. He did so, and looked genuinely surprised when he asked me "don't you like Bruce Springsteen?"

lmao! Bruce Springsteen is right up there with Dylan when it comes to appropriate music for such occasions...
I agree though, while I might dislike certain types of music during sex, there is nothing specifically that I want to listen to either. Actually, I view music in that context to be pretty much incidental... I mean really, if you have a better recollection of the music than you do of the experience there's a serious problem....

Can you just see it?

Woman 1 - Oh... Donald played Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring" last night when we were making love, it was heavenly!

Woman 2 - Stravinsky or Donald?

(Of course, back in his day Stravinsky was probably the equivalent of Death Metal, but I digress)




This thread actually reminds me of an experience a friend of mine had when she was with a new lover... They were listening to Sarah McLachlan and having a great deal of trouble getting the condom out of the wrapper... At exactly that moment the song "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" came on. I was practically crying with laughter when she recounted the incident... Oddly enough her lover didn't find it nearly as amusing

[Tricky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragon wench I was practically crying with laughter when she recounted the incident... Oddly enough her lover didn't find it nearly as amusing

Heh. I broke into a coughing fit, laughing.

The title got me curious. Is there such a thing as love-metal? Come on now guys, I know there are quite a few of you out there since that "guide me into the world of metal" thread.

[Fiberfar]

And here I was thinking this was a thread about the differences of death and love metal.

[Lady Dragonfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiberfar And here I was thinking this was a thread about the differences of death and love metal.

It is. Michael Buble misic *is* heart-melting love metal.
So, Fiberfar, what is your mood music?

[Moonbiter]

Pink Floyd does it for me. I mean as a turn-off. I had this girlfriend back in the day who insisted on listening to 'Floyd as "mood music." And not just any album? Noooooo, it had to be "The Final Cut." I **** you not. Roger Waters whining for ages about people getting killed and the grousomness of war, and here we are, banging away....