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[VoodooDali]

George Carlin made this up and I love it. (I had to remove some the of raunchier ones.) Maybe we can think of some additional titles.

How To Books
How to Remove an Infected Cyst from a Loved One
How to Make Two Small Hats out of a Brassiere
How to Act Laid-Back During a Grease Fire
How to Spot a Creep from a Distance
How to Give a King a Really Hard Time
How to Dance with a Swedish Person
How to Get Through College without Books
How to Get a Tan with a Flashlight
How to Style Your Hair with a Bullwhip
How to Kill a Rat with an Oboe
How to Spot Truly Vicious People in Church
How to Filet a Panda
How to Lease Out the Space Inside Your Nose
How to Become a Total Greaseball
How to Turn Unbearable Pain Into Extra Income

Advice and Self-Help Books
Eat, Run, Stay Fit, and Die Anyway
You Give Me Six Weeks and I'll Give You Some Disease
Why You Should Never Mambo with a Policeman
The Stains in Your Shorts Can Indicate Your Future
Earn Big Money by Sitting in Your Car Trunk
I Gave Up Hope and It Worked!
Why You Should Never Yodel During an Electrical Storm
Fill Your Life with Croutons
Six Ways to Screw up Before Breakfast
I Suck, You Suck
Reorganizing Your Pockets
Where to Hide a Really Big Snot
The Wrong Underwear Can Kill
What to Wear on the Toilet
A Complete List of People Who Are Not Making Progress
Ten Things No One Can Handle
Why You Should Not Sit for More Than Six Weeks in Your Own Filth

General Interest Titles
Twelve Things Nobody Cares About
The Picture Book of Permanent Stains
Firecracker in a Cat's Ass: A Novel
The Complete List of Everyone Who Enjoys Coffee
Ten Places No One Can Find
Why Hawaii and Norway Are Not Near Each Other
The History of Envy
The Pus Almanac
One Hundred People Who Are Only Fooling Themselves
Carousel Maintenance
The Dingleberry Papers
A Treasury of Poorly Understood Ideas
The Golden Age of Tongue Kissing
The Meaning of Corn
Feel This: A Braille Sex Manual
A Complete List of Everything That Is Still Pending
Really Loud Singalongs for the Hard of Hearing

[fable]

How to Dance with a Swedish Person

LOL! CE's going to love that. Swedish culture is typically so, well, formal.

The others were all great. It's the kind of humor Robert Benchley would write, if he were around today, and of course, still drinking.

[Hill-Shatar]

Quote:

How to Style Your Hair with a Bullwhip

I hate to pervert such a well made thread... wait, never mind.

Quote:

Firecracker in a Cat's Ass: A Novel

As opposed to a broadway performance...

Quote:

The Pus Almanac

I actually have one of these.

Quote:

Feel This: A Braille Sex Manual

Well, at least it is helping a disadvantaged group.

[dragon wench]

Quote:

Why Hawaii and Norway Are Not Near Each Other

I don't know why, but this one seriously makes me chuckle!

@Voodoo,
could you PM me the raunchier ones you left out?

[Chimaera182]

lmao. Gotta love ol' Carlin. My parents used to love him, although my mom said that lately he just seems old and bitter. Meh.

I have to hunt through my old joke books now.

The five shortest books in the world

1.) Al Gore--The Wild Years
2.) Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
3.) The Amish Phone Book

12 Children's Books You'll Never See

1.) You Were an Accident
2.) Strangers Have the Best Candy
3.) The Little Sissy Who Snitched
4.) Some Kitten's Can Fly!
5.) How to Dress Sexy for Grown-ups
6.) Where Would You Like to be Buried?
7.) Katy was so Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8.) The Kid's Guide to Hitchhiking
9.) Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
10.) What is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
11.) Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet be Friends?
12.) Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

[Grimar]

lol! nice ones! many got me laughing