In Search of the Holy Spam

[Fiona]

Fiona accepted the elixer DW offered. She eyed it dubiously. A sobriety potion? What would anybody make one of those for? Asian? Well maybe they had different priorities. "You want me to drink this?" At DW's nod Fiona nobly decided to wait until DW tried it first.

Minutes later DW was transformed. She was apparently sober but her sense of responsibility appeared to be impaired. Fiona watched as she transformed the male lead. "That's a good trick" Inspired, Fiona drank the elixer. £20 worth of scotch was as though it had never been. " I hope my relatives never find out I did that" she thought. "It's probably a criminal offence in Scotland."

Ik was looking at her expectantly. He had asked her something. She reviewed the conversation in her head. "What are you, honey?" What kind of question was that?

Fiona thought hard. Ik wanted to know more about her than she was willing to reveal. It did not escape her notice that he had said very little about himself. " A scything mystery" indeed. Now she couldn't be a mystery because you can't have two of those. What to do, what to do?

"Oh, I know" she thought."Tell lies. That'll work" Fiona brightened. Turning to Ik, she announced herself as a bard. She kept her fingers crossed behind her back and hoped her limericks would be enough to busk her through

[Phreddie]

Phreddie flys in through an open window toting a case of Gland Cream to restock the larders of this fine.... establishment, clumsy hooves being no match for the round knob on the door, Phreddie asked for help "baa baaa baba baaaaaaaaaaa!" The bartender took a few shots of sme green liquid then sprayed Phreddie with febreeze, the flying golden goat fell to the floor, the gland cream tubs breaking open and cascading upon the unsuspecting patrons, so much for this months shipment, Phreddie grabbed the bottle of febreeze and took off for the under-the-table compartment he had reserved the night before, when climbing in he fell through the floor to a few ancient tunnels below, grabbing his febreeze he climbed back out and snuck into the liquor cabinet for a quick nap...

[Lasher]

Lasher was making small talk with the tavern's patrons when he smelt and then saw a flying hooved beast came flying through the window. For a moment, he thought he saw the goat of his dreams, and the more he thought about it, the more certain he became. He dashed over to the spot and found some ancient tunnels, and he could hear a clopping of hooves receding into the darkness. He ran to the bar and demanded a map of the tunnels, and ran back to the tables to rouse the posse.

[Ravager]

After finding the nearby vicinity empty, Ravager entering the imposing establishment, ready for the chaos that frequented the place. Of course, flying goats is the norm around here...Ravager mentally rolled his eyes. This place was a living cliche. He had one of those love-hate relationships with cliches.
So, what was happening now? A ecletic mix of patrons and of course beverages was to be expected and was indeed found within the T&T.
Grabbing a drink, he considered his next move and wondered if anyone would approach.
Of course, at least for now, he was in a human form. Dressed in dark clothing and with a sword at his hip. There was no need to frighten the regulars unduly, after all...

[ch85us2001]

Chu walked up and slapped Ravager on the back. Chu casually remarked, "Hey, Ive figured out your cliche!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Muh?" muttered Rav.
"You're the long haired pretty boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Maybe I am."
"Doesnt the long haired pretty boy always turn on the party after destroying the Psuedo villian??????????" Chu Quiped
Ravager quickly retorted, "Thats just a cliche, who puts stock in cliches?
"Well, Donald Trump is pretty cliche."
"True, but my names Bob, not Don!"
"Good point" Chu admitted. " Do you want to go on an adventure????" . . .

[Ravager]

Who was this simian babbling on behind him? After glancing in his direction, recognition was not far behind. Chu, he thought contempously. From what he had noted, his 'zaniness' had won him fans, though Drag Racing hadn't seemed to increase in popularity just yet. He supposed that was still a work in progress...
Chu was still standing there expectedly. Obviously, he had determination. Mentally replaying what Chu had said...or at least the highlights...and swivelling in his chair to face Chu, he continued his dumb act. It wouldn't do to have anyone let on, after all....
"Huh? An adventure? Where to?"
With a quick glance around, he noted no-one else seemed to be taking any notice of their converstion. That was probably for the best, though being near Chu and remaining inconspicious were truly opposites...

[Phreddie]

Awaking from a several hour nap, Phreddie was in trouble, the Liquor cabinet would not open from the inside, atleast not with out the help of an opposable thumb, however Phreddie's human form would not fit in the liquor cabinet due to most of the space being taken up by liquor, so transformation was not an option, flying to the top of the cavernous cabinet Phreddie began chewing and ramming the hinges in an attempt to break down the door, try as he might, the cabinet would not budge, after 20 minutes of going at it vigourously in the cabinet led Phreddie to collapse on the floor in exhaustion. Hitting the floor with the force the flying golden goat did, he forced open a hidden trap door leading to the same tunnels, sewers most likely, that he had encountered before, hearing the footsteps of an aproaching some one, or something, Phreddie decided to fly away as fast as he could in the opposite direction(dropping his bottle of febreeze to the floor as he flew), taking left after right, right after left, down after up, and straight after roundabout, eventually surfacing in a moonlight pasture on the edge of a forest, There in the pasture was the most glorious and beautiful Brown Cow that e'er walked the earth. As the Brown Cow aproached me with a quizzical expression upon her Face, I hailed the Brown Cow "How now, Brown Cow?...."

[Aegis]

Aegis took a quick glance at DW, and her uselessly flashy light show of a hand, and recoiled a step or two. He had had one too many past experiances with such aurora's, since which he has never knocked the habit of braying at the oddest of moments, or struting around as though he were a Rooster. He tightened his right hand slightly, and felt something squishy slip between his fingers, and onto the table. "Odd..." he mused, more to himself then the distracted members of the table. "Looks like the brain of a goldfish. Meh."

He shrugged and turned towards Hill, who had yet to really acknowledge the fact he was clearly visible in the slightly darker then room level shadows, and that he was wearing an oddly bright, pink barbie like dress. With a roll of his eyes, he sauntered towards the fellow Canuck, and SYMian historian, stopping only once to look down because of the odd notion that his sandals of protection could possible be untied, forgetting completely the fact that sandals did not use laces, but were rather efficient, and spartan, forms of footwear made for ease and comfort, not utility.

Upon reaching the SYMian historian, he sideled against the wall, just out of the sparse shadows. "One" was all Aegis said, assuming, possibly naively, that Hill would understand. Logic was not one of the Sage's selling features. In fact, he often found it to be the most challenging hurdle in any discussion he partook in. The strong desire to simply refer to the 'cause' rule of debate, without the hassle of fitting all the pieces together, or forming some coherant sentence. In fact, much his wisdom could easily be regarded as prophetic and profound, if only for the fact people merely assumed it to be, but failed to understand it. The guiding principle behind Aegis v. Logic was that if it worked for most popular religions, he could definitly spin it in his favour as well.

Someone, in the vast distance of logic and understanding, a small braincell within Hill popped upon hearing the vague, enigmatic comment by his compatriote. The simple statement had proven to be far too elusive for the thoughtwaves of any person other than Aegis, and had quickly caused the destruction of the particular part of Hill's brain that recalled what exactly the scent of dandilion and lavander cohabitating in a green pasture on a mild spring day was like. Hill would only discover this fact sometime later, and more than likely at a hopelessly crucial juncture in his life upon which the knowledge of such a smell would cause in the survival of his home and vehicle from a particularly nasty genetic experiment in botony. But that is all digression.

[ch85us2001]

Chu walked up behind Aegis, seeking his help.
Softly Aegis muttered "One."
Chu placed a hand lightly on his shoulder, "Fourty-Two."
Aegis gasped, "You know?!"
Chu confidently stated, "Fourty-Two is the answer to all things. Now, my brother, will you swing your great Cod along side my Sword????????" . . . . . .

[Hill-Shatar]

Sitting there staring slightly surprised at Aegis' montone extollment of one, he watched as disapointment flashed across the young man's face, who then decided to remove himself from the corner area to where he could see more of what was happening on the other side of the bar. He was hoping to put the image he had seen out of his mind.

Aegis had, of course, been slightly sweaty trying to hold on to a struggling cod in his hands while Hill had been observing (for some strange reason, pink) in his labcoat the other members of the pub who had been discussing with great surprise the happenings of the day, now seemingly more interested in the results of Aegis reigning in his floppy fish.

Coming towards him, toga still wide open, little had Aegis known that he was trying to put anything that would make him think of the horrid moment he saw Aegis bounding towards him (one of the reasons he was momentarily stunned), too overzealous for Hill to think too much about. Trying to put a book in between himself and Aegis, he had failed in totally blocking out the imagry that came to mind whenever he saw the sandalled feet prancing from side to side. Finally, to Hill's great dismay (and a little disgust, as his labcoat/cloak had been clean this morning) he sidled up to him (with Hill trying to dig a hole into the wall to escape) and in apparent ignorance to the panick of Hill said calmly the word which Hill was only now remembering over the fear of the original encounter.

Now the young man was wondering towards the man at the table, still trying to hit it off on the woman who looked like she was about to wrap his (OOC: I am quite sure it is not her legs, Chu) legs around him like a christmas bow, and they began to swing about there 'swords' (Some fish and a CSL, whatever that was) with each other. Surprised at this display in public, Hill thought it best to sit down with his back beside the wall to the beauty and owner of the bar.

[Aegis]

"My seek you help do!" Aegis is exclaimed his response to Chu in much the same manner a victim of spatial dementia would proclaim the immortal words of a a famous wisp of a Canadian Prime Minister "Just watch me." It was more an acknowledgement of fact, as opposed to a question, one which, upon closer dissection, could be easily understood and explained, had the very act of listening to such whimsical collequiallism's of the english language had not rendered normal powers of comprehension completely inadequete.

Aegis nodded at the stupified look offered forth from Chu. Upon failing to see a line of confused drool run from the corner of Chu's mouth, Aegis felt the appropriate need to do so himself, the act of which only worsening Chu's condition. After a moment, and a messy sounding slurp, the Sage slapped Chu on the shoulder.

"Indeed, forty-two! Though, I can tell by your above spelling you are a man of action, and not that of the book, sagely advice, and fine ebonics." Aegis stepped beside the battle clade man, looking forward, past DW and the others at the table, seemingly past the confines of the Tap and Tea, and almost as though he were a man looking into the vast nothingness of the heaven.

Though, if any man of the cloth or faith were to have heard it described as such, they would have none of it. To describe the divine playground as anything less then pure, euphoric bliss and harmony would akin to comparing it to the trash receptical of the Universe, fit only for the discarded capsules of ominously purple like pills. In fact, the Sage saw beyond what those around could see, that which only one as enlightened in the ways of fishy divination could. He saw the holiest of holy quests before the motley crew that stood within the confines, and saw the trials that were laid out before them.

He predicted the task of gather the three needed components of the Holy Spam, while avoiding the temptuous Puffins, Fowls, Guinea Pigs and Pantless Marines. They would look the Wankerly in the eye, and they would not blink, though scarring an action had not ever been taken. They had entered upon a crusade. A crusade of which could topple as easily as the masculinity of a certain tea-drinking wanker that perpetuated the grounds of SYM fishing for hugs and attention. This was their quest, if they chose to accept.

[ik911]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiona Turning to Ik, she announced herself as a bard. She kept her fingers crossed behind her back and hoped her limericks would be enough to busk her through

"A bard?" He thought about it while blowing some nosehairs out of his mouth with a loud "Ffff. Ffff ff."

"Well, ladies, let's go! Up up!" He walked outside without looking back for he feared he might either lose them to the realm of the Tap and Tea forever, or be turned into a pillar of salt.

He went to the tourist information desk across the street and quickly got out with a large map. He put it on the ground and put rocks on the edges to prevent it from blowing away. "Where do we go first?"

They were about to pick their first destination on their quest. Icarus thought about some practical things to bring along on a potentially long trip. His toothbrush, some duct tape, a tyre-repair set, a pair of shorts, his bathingsuit and extra underwair, but then dismissed these thoughts, because real adventurers don't think of that either.

[Fiona]

Fiona was dismayed to find that she was completely sober, and the elixir seemed to be designed to make sure she stayed that way. “Should have read the fine print” she thought. Now what? No good reason for staying in a pub, certainly. She made this point rather forcibly to DW, then looked around at the company.

Aegis seemed to have come over all religious, and he appeared to be joining forces with Chu. They had obviously taken the Raven message seriously and seemed to be after boar. Nasty dangerous creatures, boar. Ravager was involved in this too, and in Fiona’s opinion he was decidedly shifty these days. Whoever heard of him showing up late?

Hill was still in denial about his dress. His mind was on goat (so what else is new). The cleric, Lasher, was also obsessed with goat. Thing could get quite sticky (and she used that word advisedly) for Phreddie in the very near future. No wonder he was hiding.

Tony, Kipi and Slade were playing at being strong silent types. Bah, never could be bothered with that unless it wasn’t a pose. And it clearly was in this case. They weren’t usually like that at all. DJV she was less sure about, but he hadn’t said anything for a while either. No point in joining up with them, they weren’t doing anything.

And the warrior with the identity problem was too disturbing for words.

All in all it seemed wisest to get out of here. Of course that might give Ik ideas, but he couldn’t hold on to them for very long, normally, and he knew she wasn’t the female lead. Ik was on that quest, and he had agreed to join DW on hers. If they wanted to seek mythical animals on the say so of an improbable bird, that was their affair. Fiona had a quest of her own. She needed to find the antidote to that elixir, sharpish. Catching DW’s eye Fiona walked out of the Tap. DW followed.

They had not gone far when they came across Ik. He was kneeling on the ground and studying a strangely detailed map. Fiona did not believe for a moment that he got it at tourist information, as he claimed. The few places she knew were shown correctly on it, and that settled it as far as she was concerned. She tried arguing but Ik stuck to his story and in the end it hardly mattered. The antidote might be anywhere. If they were going questing then they needed to eat, and they needed equipment despite his absurd claims.

Fiona studied the map looking for a likely café or restaurant

[dj_venom]

"So I said, I said, if you're not a piece of steak, why I am cooking you. To that he replied, because you're a drunk idiot who's commiting murder. Hahahaha" Venom broke off laughing at his own story, realising afterwards that no one was listening. Suddenly, Venom had a thought. Normally Ravager was in the action, so where was he this time? However Venom knew that he would not be able to fnd Rav on his own, instead he had an idea.

Picking up the barstool he had been using, Venom used it to smash the liquor cabinent, in an attempt to reach Phreddie. Crawling through the hole, he found a portal to the lost city of Atlantis, but there was no time for that. Instead, he quickly found Phreddie, and pulled him out, much to his display.

"Preddie, we need to find Rav. I can't walk fast enough, so let me ride you. No Phreddie, calm down, not in that way. NO! BAD PHREDDIE! Pulling a nearby leash out of midair, Venom tied Phreddie up, and flew out of the building on his back.

[Ravager]

Chu had already vanished. Bah. Just like him to be so scatty and disappear at a moment's notice. Ravager was probably better off out of whatever Chu intended to go with for the next 5 minutes anyway.
So, what else was there, he wondered as he sipped his drink.
As Chu would obviously not be revealing details of his 'adventure' he recalled the rumours Lenore had gathered...and the ones he had sent the bird to spread. A missing boar, was it? Heh. Mere happenstance. Whoever unwisely decided to follow Chu would likely chase round in circles for a few hours...and hopefully get lost in the wilderness. Did they really deserve better?
A crash interrupted his internal monologue, the flying goat had reappeared...and disappeared again. Someone familiar was riding the abomination..who?..wait...DJV! The Aussie! Hmm, shame, he may have been worth talking to.

Better find something else to do then, he looked around the common room of the T&T taking in the myriad of sights and people in the place. Finishing his drink and getting up from his chair, he thought he should get more involved in this atmosphere. He'd already caught some glances in his direction...as if they were expecting something more from him, whatever that was.