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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 02-23-2005, 08:47 AM
Ned Flanders's Avatar
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ikea walkthrough

ikea walkthrough

If you've ever visited an ikea store and played one of the old school infocom text games (zork, deadline, suspended, etc), you might get a kick out of this. I found it hilarious.
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Old 02-23-2005, 08:53 AM
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LOL!

I am too bad a roleplaying, so I have actually never visited an IKEA store, although it's even Swedish and you find them everywhere here.
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Old 02-23-2005, 09:04 AM
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Good fun.
Though it brings back suppresed memories.
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Old 02-23-2005, 09:04 AM
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Now make your way into the main SHOWROOM, using the PAPER TAPE MEASURE to throttle anyone who blocks your path.

I laughed out loud at that point. It's extremely funny, and part of the humor derives from just how well it mirrors the emotions you feel at every stage of the Ikea experience.
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Old 02-23-2005, 09:20 AM
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*basks in room full of furniture someone else went and shopped for*

I think we should bless Ikea though, as it allows for creativity in the final appearance and function of your furniture where pre-made is so rigid.

Sartre would chose Ikea.
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Old 02-23-2005, 09:25 AM
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It wont matter how good you are at roleplaying if you go to the Ikea in Edmonton North London, because there will be a huge mob that will riot and crush you underfoot in the name of the 'holy bargain of cheap rubbish'
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Old 02-23-2005, 09:46 AM
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ROFLMAO!
I have always speculated that if sociologists were to do a study, they would find a direct correllation between relationship breakups and the existence of an Ikea in any given area

I mean, first you have to navigate through the throngs of buggy-weilding shoppers, always good for elevating tensions, and then, when you get home..... you have the joy of trying to assemble any furniture you have bought. Most of our encounters involving Ikea furniture assembly also involve the loss of temper, blood, various limbs and the mutual hurling of unrepeatable obscentities
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Old 02-23-2005, 01:03 PM
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Yeah, Ikea certainly draws the mob. When the store opened here in Minneapolis last July, they gave away a free chair to the first umpteenth customers. The mob of people who camped out OVERNIGHT was insane, not to mention the vomitous local media coverage the event attracted. How sad, I thought, that people are not able to quantify the value of their own time; willing to sit in a parking lot overnight to get a 30 dollar chair (which no doubt caused breakups and divorces - see DW's comments about assembling such furnitiure).

I finally visited the store yesterday, seven months after their opening, and still found it depressingly packed by the time the store opened. Still, I got the junk I went their for (flooring mainly, as their price per square foot is the best in town for laminate flooring while still carrying a 15 year warranty), and got out in a reasonable time; though I must express disdain over the rat in the maze layout of the showroom. Fortunately, I had read the walkthrough before arrival and left a wake of carnage in my path. You should've seen heads come apart once I got the table leg with nail. My overall experience was a 4 out of 10 but I can't wait to go back. Next visit, I'm going to play the role of the rogue using the paper tape measure as a garrot.
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Old 02-23-2005, 01:07 PM
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You know, Ikea has a good side too. The left side of the word.
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Old 02-23-2005, 01:15 PM
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That one is a classic!

Despite living in the middle of Ikea-hell, I've actually only set foot there TWICE in my entire life, but BOTH TIMES WERE ON SATURDAYS!!!! There is quite possibly no worse shopping experience around. Not even Christmas shopping with a hangover. Both times I came so close to resorting to actual violence I actually frightened myself! Then I see these families using Ikea as entertainment, taking the kids with them and going there every single weekend just to hang out and browse endlessly and aimlessly. Those people are worth a whole main thesis in psychology by themselves. Is it some hidden S&M thing that I'm not aware of?
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Old 02-23-2005, 01:30 PM
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@Ned,
that whole thing with the free chair is really and truly sad. I mean honestly, what does it say about us as a society that we have "evolved" over millenia... to end up at a point like this?

@Moonbiter,
I know what you mean. I generally try to avoid IKEA, but most of my experiences have been on a weekend as well, S&M indeed! I actually think that state authorities would do very well if the threat of going to gaol were replaced with the punishment of being made to endure a year's worth of weekends in an IKEA
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Old 02-23-2005, 01:34 PM
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My wife has been looking forward to the possible debut of an Ikea at a mall near here, though it now appears to be nothing more than a retail clerk's somebody-told-somebody-else-who-told-me. Just as well. Southern New Jersey has enough kinds of hell without this particular visitation.
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Old 02-23-2005, 01:55 PM
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@Moonbiter, Moonbiter, you're Scandinavian, you ought to have known better...if I believed in Freudian psychodynamics I would say it must have been your death drive.

@Fable: this relates to our previous discussions about how cultural exchange between the US and Europe always focus on picking up the worst from the other continent. There are some really good things with Sweden, like gender equality and sexual liberation, but what is spreading around the world? The IKEA-plague!
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Old 02-23-2005, 02:09 PM
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CE wrote:
Quote:
@Moonbiter, Moonbiter, you're Scandinavian, you ought to have known better...if I believed in Freudian psychodynamics I would say it must have been your death drive.
ROTFL! Would you beleive it wasn't even for myself? I just happened to own a big car and help with the carrying! It's probably more my "Samaritan Complex" that was at work....

Quote:
@Fable: this relates to our previous discussions about how cultural exchange between the US and Europe always focus on picking up the worst from the other continent. There are some really good things with Sweden, like gender equality and sexual liberation, but what is spreading around the world? The IKEA-plague!
Well, they give us McDonalds, Burger King, Reality TV and MTV, we give them IKEA. It's a war out there....
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Old 02-23-2005, 02:12 PM
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Moonbiter,

You need the, "Yes, this is my big truck, and no, I won't help you move" bumper sticker.
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