How to tell if you live in a trailer park...

[dragon wench]

1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."
8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
10. Your junior prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
13. The blue book value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
22. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-mart...
23. If your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working R.V...
24. If you thought the Una-bomber was a wrestler...
25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table...
26. If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the K-Mart.
27. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home...
28. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth of improvement...
29. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher
30. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it hangin?"
31. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had court
32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph...
33. If somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is...
34. If you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate...
35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.

[Galuf the Dwarf]

OMG! ROTFLMAO!!! I showed this to my folks, and we spent 20 minutes reading the list aloud and laughing our heads off. Nice job, DW. *applies bear hug*

[dragon wench]

@Galuf, lol!
the funny thing is that I received this as an email from my 'mother-in-law.' Usually she sends me cutesy little things about why we should feel grateful for the various things in our lives. Generally the woman acts and sounds like a Hallmark greeting card, so this one was a significant deviation from the norm. There is hope for her yet!

[Aegis]

Just some to add:

36. You're dog passes gas, and you try to claim it
37. You own 14 cars that don't move, but your house does
38. Your lawnmower has four legs, and bleats

[Scayde]

Originally posted by dragon wench
1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."
8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
10. Your junior prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
13. The blue book value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
22. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-mart...
23. If your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working R.V...
24. If you thought the Una-bomber was a wrestler...
25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table...
26. If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the K-Mart.
27. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home...
28. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth of improvement...
29. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher
30. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it hangin?"
31. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had court
32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph...
33. If somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is...
34. If you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate...
35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.

And your point would be ?

[dragon wench]

Originally posted by Scayde
And your point would be ?

You mean I'm supposed to have one?

[Aegis]

Originally posted by dragon wench
You mean I'm supposed to have one?

Has it every stopped you before? Oh wait, thats me...