help me plz? no judging

[DashGore12]

alright im going to make thisbreif so it will not sound as hard as it is to say

ill list some current problems in my life and i hope someone will be able to give me some helpful advice

ill list my personal info to maybe clear image
Born june 5 1992
live in Massachusetts, USA
have 1 sister, a mother, and a father

1. I am secretely bisexual and no one but me knows

2. i have gotten WAY to deep for my age intot he meaning of life

3. considoring suicide (only thing holding me back is how to do it, knives = to painful, hanging = how the **** i do that?, and all the other options escape me rite now

2 and 3 are seriously connected (2 caused 3)
so if u do reply u can comment onthose as one

[giles337]

@ point 1. It's a terrible world we live in, where someone feels they cannot express themselves in the way they want for fear of prejudice.

I think its great that you can at least share it with someone, especially someone you know will not judge you.

@ point 2 . Again, i think the best thing to do is to talk to ppl, and try and work through it.


@ point 3.. Don't ****ing do it man, i had a friend whos dad killed himself, it may seem like a solution to you, but theres nothing that cannot be solved, and it will make a lot of people just as unhappy.

These offerings may seem feeble, but im afraid its the best i know

[Luis Antonio]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DashGore12 2. i have gotten WAY to deep for my age intot he meaning of life 3. considoring suicide (only thing holding me back is how to do it, knives = to painful, hanging = how the **** i do that?, and all the other options escape me rite now

Dash,

I'm an suicidal tencencies man myself. Attempted suicide twice. Had the same doubt you have. But something I realized later:

DO NOT DO THAT. It is only a waste of life time and to agree that nothing can ever go better. IT CAN BE BETTER, either chemically or in life. Chemically, I mean that your body may have a wrong balance in therms of certain things that will help you get up.

I've lost the women I loved, a children, and all for stupid reason. But, one year later, after the storm left, I realized that the worst thing I could have done is suicide. It helps nothing.

I've PMd you with an answer to your former question, but please, if you wish to discuss pm me again. Talk to people, no matter what you do or you want to do. You'll see how much you can do to improve yourself and - as I and many of my friends did - get better.

I wish you strength, determination, and happiness, so much happiness.

*hug*

[JazzyAnna]

I agree with Giles337, suicide is not the answer. You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Talk to your parents or friends or someone. Please, don't commit suicide.

[C Elegans]

Hello Dashgore and welcome to SYM!

First, let me say I think it's very brave of you to post something so deeply personal at an internet forum. I will try to reply but I also appreciate if you post some more information about yourself.

1. About 3-4% of the population are gay, and another 2-3% are bisexual. All current knowledge indicate that sexual orientation is innate, we are born gay, bi or straight and we can't do anything to change that. We can choose to repress our desires and drives, but we cannot change our actual orientation. Being bisexual means you belong to a minority group in society, and you will be a target for ignorant and narrow-minded people's prejudice. However, in society as well as here at SYM, most people will just view bisexuality as a natural variation and depending on where you live, your bisexuality might not be a problem at all. Seeing you are only 12 years young, I guess many of your peers may be too young to understand your situation. What about your family and friends, do you have any clue as to how they would react if they knew?

2. Nothing wrong with getting deeply into existential questions. It's when we are young that it's most important that we take stance and form our value systems and opinions about life's fundamental questions. What may be difficult for you is that since it's unusual to ponder such questions at your age, you might feel alone, alienated and isolated since you won't find many people your age to discuss these topics with. Pondering difficult life questions all alone can lead into deep and difficult thoughts that go into circles without reaching a conclusion, and that can be bothersome and depressing. Please feel free to share your thoughts here. It's also good to read books to get new input to one's thoughts.

3. Do your thoughts about the meaning of life make you so depressed so you consider suicide? Is it that you can't find any meaning with your life, or it is that you suffer a lot in your current situation?
Life goes in plateus, so to speak, at some points we reach a plateu in our development, when things look stale and bleak and there is no way out. If we keep struggling, the situation often change over time. It is painful and exhausting, but struggling through will eventually take you to another point, where things are different and hopefully better. If you wish to post more details about your situation, I will try to reply more specific.

[unregisturd]

Hey, Dash,
I'm 16 years old and I started out like you. (Referring to your problems, #2 and #3.) I thought (and still do) about everything and the meaning of it... And I started getting really depressed. I seriously thought about suicide numerous times, but I never did it. (Obviously.) Wanna know how I got through it? I surrounded myself by my friends. I participated in the better things in life. I did things that I LOVED to do. I took up writing poetry, and that actually made me feel good about myself. And hey, if you're having problems with friends, you can always talk to me. (PM me on here, or I have AIM, just IM me at unregisturd.) Lots of times I felt abandoned by my friends, (I have no idea what your friendship situation is, hopefully you have a few good ones.) and I started talking to this guy from a poetry site, and now him and I are best friends. And he's always there for me. And it's a lot easier to tell him things than it sometimes is to tell my friends whom I see every day. Sometimes it is indeed easier to talk to people you don't know about your problems, and perhaps that is why you posted here in SYM. But Dash, let me tell you as one youth to another, things can always get better. Lots of times, I know, it seems like life is going down the tubes, and you feel like you can't escape, and so you revert to suicide. But listen to me... Suicide gets you no where. Suicide does nothing but makes things worse. Man, I've been where you are, I know how it is. You just have to surround yourself with friends, family, anything you enjoy being around. Take notice of the better things in life. Then life doesn't seem so bad after all... And I'm serious when I say you can IM me anytime you want. I'm on the computer a lot, and I have no problem helping you out.

Don't give up, man. Life is much better than death. Someday, you will die, but it's not your time now. Just don't give up.

[Brynn]

Dash, I love that you're here discussing this with us. It's the best thing you could do, I guess, b/c no-one here will judge you, or if anyone does, you don't have to bear it face-to-face, so that's a kind of protection for you, I think.

See, you're not alone with the serious problem you mentioned (#3). It is so hard to persuade someone of the postitive things in life when he feels down (to say the least). But as you're here and started this topic, I guess you're ready to listen and take in what we say, so I hope it makes a difference.

First of all, I think even #1 may be derived from #2. Consider it. But please, for god's sake get that #3 **** out of your mind, it will NOT help anything at all!!! You don't know what's ahead, believe me, you can't even imagine what future may have in store for you. It depends mainly on you, I dare to add.

I'd like to know more about #2, if possible. Do you feel like sharing it here (or with me at all)? If so, could you explain it? I think it would be easier to undertand you if we knew the main thing, maybe there's a solution for that.

Please write as much and as often as you can, OK?

[Chanak]

I'm very familiar with suicide. I've attempted it in the past and think about it sometimes. I know that considering other people, what others will go through if you do go through with it, etc, doesn't help much because it's you who is suffering with this, not them. Many people don't understand what brings about the desire to end your own life. Perhaps you think if they were experiencing what you were going through, they would. I think they would...but to be honest, I wouldn't want anyone else to go through what I go through.

Only one thing really helps. And that is this: suicide is a final sort of solution. Once it's done, everything is over. The fact that you draw breath means that you have the innate desire to be happy. Ending your life denies you that chance to be happy. You might think your problems are too great, or that you are too weak, etc...but other fact I see is that you are still living under the pressure, which means you possess great mental strength (despite the faults you think you have)...enough to see your way into gaining the means to cope.

You are looking for a way right now to cope, and I think you know suicide isn't it. There are options, DashGore, other than ending your life. I can steer you towards a support group if you'd like. PM me if you are interested in finding out more.

EDIT - I'm heading out to work now, so I won't be back until later this evening. If an emergency pops up, there are emergency suicide hotlines you can call; your phone book will have it (most likely near the front). The people who answer those lines can guide you to resources you can use, Dash. They are not people who will judge you; they just want to help.

[Luis Antonio]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chanak Only one thing really helps. And that is this: suicide is a final sort of solution. Once it's done, everything is over. The fact that you draw breath means that you have the innate desire to be happy. Ending your life denies you that chance to be happy. You might think your problems are too great, or that you are too weak, etc...but other fact I see is that you are still living under the pressure, which means you possess great mental strength (despite the faults you think you have)...enough to see your way into gaining the means to cope.

Chanak, you have the gift to put down everything plain and simple.

And Dash, I'm sure you can handle it, and that you are now weakened. But you may grow strong. I lived through it.

Do you like food? Have tons of tasty food.
Do you like rappel? Go rappel whenever you can.
Do you like friends? Have your friends closer...

And please, answer to this thread. I'm worried.

[Brynn]

Yes, please let us know that you think about what we write here. You might think we're completely wrong or missing the point, but we're ready to discuss, so say whatever you want!

[VonDondu]

@DashGore12: I'm sorry that you're feeling so low. If it's any help, a lot of us have been in a similar situation, and we can understand how you feel. You're human; that's something that you share with the rest of us. So in a vague, abstract sense, you're not alone.

1. If it's any help, a lot of people don't think there's anything wrong with bisexuality, and they would want you to be happy. It's a matter of opinion. There are a lot of people who can't understand it and are afraid of it, and they might react negatively to it; but that's just THEIR opinion. If you can feel comfortable with yourself, then you don't have to dwell on how THEY feel. In my own case, there are a lot of people who don't like my lifestyle (I'm a childless, unmarried woman and I'm happy the way I am, which really seems to irk a lot of people), but I don't dwell on how other people feel. I don't know if I can tell you exactly how I did it, but I just learned to get over it.

Of course, you should always be prudent about what you tell other people. And if you choose to act on your sexual desires, you should make sure you're discreet and safe. You're really not much different from everyone else in that respect.

2 & 3, contrary to what you might believe, are actually NOT related. Pardon me for being sounding so blunt and sure of myself, but your depression is not caused by understanding the meaning of life. You have the blues, or you have a chemical imbalance, or you're dealing with some kind of trauma. THAT is making your life miserable, not some silly philosophical pursuit. If you were happy and well-adjusted, you could look the meaning of life right in the face and be happy or say you don't give a damn or say, "Gee, life is so absurd." No matter how pointless or terrible life might seem in the abstract, it wouldn't get you down. Someday you might come to the realization that your understanding of life is a lot more limited than you thought; I know I did. But if you can learn to let go of the conceit that we're SUPPOSED to understand how life works (or anything else, for that matter), then you'll be able to cut yourself some slack and simply go about the business of living and doing the things that make you feel happy. And if you're like most people, you won't even THINK about it; you'll just do it.

I think it's good for you to reach out to other people and see if they can understand what you're going through and whether they can offer you some advice. You are not alone. If you can open your heart and mind to other people's stories and see how much you have in common with them, you might take comfort in the knowledge that other people have survived. And in all likelihood, no matter how bad things might seem right now, you will also live to tell the tale.

[giles337]

Quote:

But if you can learn to let go of the conceit that we're SUPPOSED to understand how life works (or anything else, for that matter), then you'll be able to cut yourself some slack and simply go about the business of living and doing the things that make you feel happy.

To put it another way. If the mind were simple enough for us to understand, then we would be too simple to understand it.

Are you religious at all?? I don't mean devoutly, but do you follow a paticular religion. This may seem concieted, and is not meant to offend, but it can cause many problems, by trying to explain the unexplainable.

Please post again! Let us know whats up

[Opalescence]

1. I've tried to live my life as a logical, scientific thinker. So, therefore, unlike most people, I will NOT mince words. If I found out that I was sitting next to a bisexual, in all probability I'd move a few seats down. I feel it's entirely within my rights to do so; I believe everybody's personal preferences are their own. Still, I do NOT feel that it's right that others belittle people for their sexual preference. If you're in a community that does so, there's little we can do to help but to offer our sympathies. I DO find it odd that you would admit this to complete strangers over an internet forum, but NOT tell your friends and family, but that's your business.

2. You want the meaning of life? Read: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It's got the answers to anything and everything and then some.

3. Look what you do with your life is your own business, not ours. And I don't feel it's any more right for someone here to tell you to save it than it is for someone here to tell you to end it. Besides, it's all a moot point; in the end the decision is still yours, just have to make up your own damn mind. But here's a thought to help you along: if you die, what would your friends feel? What would your parents feel? I'm sure they all care about you. If you can't find any reasons to stay alive for yourself, find reasons to stay alive for them.

[Bloodthroe]

Everyone has their own cross to carry, so quit complaining. Your not the first and definitely not the last to go through life’s worse and committing suicide only shows your inability to take it. If you keep letting it get to you, your only going to screw up your own life.

As far as I’m concerned there is no meaning to life. If you want yours to have one, then create one.

[Dottie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Opalescence If I found out that I was sitting next to a bisexual, in all probability I'd move a few seats down.

I though you tried to live your life as a logical scientific thinker? I can assure you there are no evidence to suggest that sitting next to a bisexual person is dangerous. Not even to a bigot.

@DashGore: Dont allow yourself to be put down. Nothing is wrong with seeking advice when you need it. As for your concerns I agree it might be good if you posted more about point nr 2. Easier to help then.

Regarding bisexuality I think you should try to find someone to confide with, even if you feel you cant do it with your family. If you cant find anyone your willing to trust, perhaps you can find some kind of gay community to gain acceptance from, either where you live or on the net. Many homosexual people I've talked to thought it was a great relieve when they found a place to act more freely.