Hate Spam

[Darkpoet]

@Grunty, Well hello, you marine fondling, pig humping, goat rapist.

[Gwalchmai]

edit:
Sorry for intruding...

[ 07-10-2001: Message edited by: Gwalchmai ]

[Waverly]

Originally posted by Lainy:
Lost: One male Great Dane. Tan in color, with shaved underbelly. Answers to the name of Cupid. Last seen wearing red mittens duct taped to all 4 paws.
Reward: $1 and 10,000 kisses. http://store6.yimg.com/I/tailsbythebay_1644_311759

OMG
Quick, Grunt, write a Haiku about Lainy and her canine companion

[ 07-10-2001: Message edited by: Waverly ]

[T'lainya]

@ Waverly Quit posting pics of your girlfriend May a lovesick walrus appear in your shower

[fable]

Gwalchmai avers:
Uh, Fable? I think you are confusing spamming with defecation. Intentional, perhaps?

My post expressed my views, but deliberately couched in the lingo of old American "medicine shows," since, for some reason, I had the Wizard of Oz on my brain, today. Every medicine cured and helped everything, from cleaning the sinuses to lubricating the intestines. (At that time, they didn't separate it into large and small intestines, and the colon was patiently awaiting its rise to fame and fortune.)

Casual conversation isn't defecation. It's music.

[dragon wench]

since, for some reason, I had the Wizard of Oz on my brain, today

Uh oh, he's been lurking in our threads. No doubt the antispam request in the topic heading caused massive internal pressure as he tried to resist the temptation to add spam.

[Georgi]

Originally posted by dragon wench:
<STRONG>Uh oh, he's been lurking in our threads. No doubt the antispam request in the topic heading caused massive internal pressure as he tried to resist the temptation to add spam. </STRONG>

Yep, cos there's never any spam in our thread. Nonono. Not any. Ever.

[Darkpoet]

EXPRESSIONS FOR WOMEN ON HIGH STRESS DAYS

1. You - Off my planet.
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
5. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be.......?
6. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
7. Allow me to introduce myselves.
8. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
9. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
10. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
11. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
12. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't
asleep.
13. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
14. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
15. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
16. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
17. Can I trade this job for what's behind door # 2?
18. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
19. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
20. Earth is full. Go Home!
21. Is it time for your medication or mine?
22. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
23. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
24. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
25. I don't get mad, I get even.

[fable]

@DP, I take it you've known people like this?

[Darkpoet]

@Fable, Some one just emailed it to me. But, I have heard all of them.

[Georgi]

Originally posted by Darkpoet:
<STRONG>19. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done. </STRONG>

Hmmm, I must remember this one

I don't see why all of them are specifically limited to women

[dragon wench]

Thanks DP. I'd already heard a bunch of them, but figured a friend of mine in a crappy job would enjoy them, so off they went.

[Darkpoet]

Anytime DW.

How about these?

Subject: Female responses

He said... Want a quickie?
She said...As opposed to what?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the
money.
---------------------------------------------------------------
He said... "This coffee isn't fit for a pig!"
She said..."No problem, I'll get you some that is."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you
in
the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Priest... "I don't think you will ever find another man like your late
husband."
She said...'Who's gonna look?'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever
been mistaken for a man?
She said...No, have you?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
He said... Why do you women always try to impress us
with your looks, not with your brains?
She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a
man is a moron than he is blind.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
He said... What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do,
leave the hallway light on.
--------------------------------------------------

[ 07-10-2001: Message edited by: Darkpoet ]

[Georgi]

LMAO