Well, ah swar.
Here's something that my mother forwarded to me last night. It's a variation on dragon wench's list. NOTE: I hope the folks from Arkansas and Alabama don't take offense.
Subject: "Southern Y'allbonics"
Northerners will have to learn how to understand us--
The Southern Association of Colleges & Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to teach y'allbonics in all classrooms North of the Mason-Dixon line. Included here are some samples of y'allbonics. If y 'all don't understand any of them,
contact your closest southern Hawg Roast Bubba for an explanation.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence........ Remainder of a greeting.
Usage: "Howdy, Hire yew?"
BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a coke."
IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart..... (See also "Arkansas native.")
Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure air ignert!"
RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tiet'nin' nuts & bolts.
Usage: "I thank I leff my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, Ah sure hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle, or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns have one mor fat n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh asses."
RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
Usage: "Just set that jug rat cheer."
FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed.. must be from some farn country."
ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"
BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - (noun) & (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?"...... "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit n' is hole laf."
SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City."
VIEW - contraction (verb) & pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"
Linear Mode
