Funnies

[Azeroth]

...Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
Hmmm...wonder what he uses for a knife?

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A burglar got into a house one night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables. He again heard, "Jesus is watching you."
This time, he shone his light all over, and it rested on a parrot. He asked, "Did you say that?"
The parrot admitted that he had. "I'm just trying to warn you, is all."
The burglar said, "Warn me, huh? Who are you? What's your name?"
"Moses."
"Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot ‘Moses'?"
The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'".