For the love of a woman...

[Galuf the Dwarf]

As of recently, I can honestly admit that I've been starting to fall for one of my college classmates, though we only met last week. We've been somewhat introduced to each other, having had to go through a whole exercise in one class that was a typical minor interview (I can bet quite a few have had to do that at one time in their life).

This young lady seems to be very nice. She's around my age, and has an interest in music (various styles), dancing, and art. She likes humor, acceptance/openness and creativity. One thing I really like about her is that she has a strong spirit/will, which I've considered a blessing to see in many throughout the years. She can be rather calm and quiet, and her smile sends my heart ablaze!

She also has a friend from her past that we both share a class with on wednesdays. This friend of hers and I met in an event for students with special needs (which I made a topic about last month), and she immediately saw something interesting in me (what exactly, and at what level, I do not know). I did admit to her the other day in private about my feelings for her friend, along with a confessions of my hopes to become something special to her.

My heart spins like a globe on its axis, and burns like an inferno!! I'm trying to take it all slow, but I can't stand to hold myself back. My limbs are starting to feel like jelly as I write this!

Any words?

[Tamerlane]

Quote:

Originally posted by Galuf the Dwarf Any words?

As corny as this may sound, follow your heart and you'll get your girl. Its as simple as that to be honest.

[Galuf the Dwarf]

Quote:

Originally posted by Tamerlane As corny as this may sound, follow your heart and you'll get your girl. Its as simple as that to be honest.

*sigh* Yes, I would have to say you're right. She may be the one, or she may not be. I might go out with her, or we may just stay friends. It'll eventually all fall into place like pieces of a puzzle.

[dragon wench]

*smiles*

Whatever you do, try not to get stressed about it, and if possible, try not to obsess Just try to take life as it happens

[Galuf the Dwarf]

Quote:

Originally posted by dragon wench *smiles* Whatever you do, try not to get stressed about it, and if possible, try not to obsess Just try to take life as it happens

I've been trying, keeping busy with quite a few things. And not to worry, there's nothing a little gaming could cure at times.

[VonDondu]

Love is real. Sometimes it's wonderful. Sometimes it's horrible. I think it's fair to say that it doesn't do you any good (all things considered) if the other person doesn't love you in return. Take your chances, but play it safe.

Since you're so attracted to her and you think she's so special, you should definitely try to get to know her. But I think it's a little early for you to get your heart set on her. You really ought to get to know her better first. There are all sorts of things you don't know about her yet; you're really just going by first impressions, guesses, and assumptions at this point.

The most important thing is to make sure she feels something for you before you fall head over heels for her. I don't think you should try too hard to impress her (because it might look like you're trying too hard to impress her), but there are all sorts of little things you can do to make yourself attractive, from good grooming to interesting conversation to simply being a nice gentleman. But until she gives you some indication that she likes you (and I warn you that you might be required to read her mind), you should maintain what diplomats call "deniability". Don't do anything that can't be explained by, shall we say, a more innocent explanation. You can always say that you'd like to study with her or that you enjoy talking about whatever it is you like to talk about; but you can't explain, for example, why you sent her flowers without admitting that you like her a lot. Don't do it if it's premature. And don't tell her that you love her unless you think she's ready to reciprocate.

This might be a wonderful experience for you, so I agree that you should follow your heart and see where it leads. But I think you'll be in a much better position to know whether she's right for you if you take the time to get to know her first. Good luck!

[Galuf the Dwarf]

Well, to tell the truth, we ended up actually sitting closer to each other in Math class on Thursday than we did before. When she noticed that I was sitting 2 desks behind her, she smiled, being a little surprised as well. I was a little concerned about that, being most hesistant of where I sat.

After class one day last week, I remember that she admitted to me that she was too nervous to drive. We were in the company of this friend of hers (who I can consider a friend of mine and visa-versa, to tell the truth), and she was waiting for her father to arrive with a bicycle for both of them (they don't live too far from the college). Earlier this week, I took this girl aside and explained my feelings for the one I have this crush on, and my motives to help her. I thought, since I am a legal, capable driver, that perhaps I could help her in some way with her driving phobias, and make her capabilities for transportation greater.

I dream of being some woman's hero, I confess!

[The Z]

Well. I'm no ladies' man, but I can tell you one or two things from experience. Always, no matter what, try to be yourself. Do not take anything for granted and most importantly just remember that you are dealing with a human being, meaning that she has thoughts that you can't guess so don't try to (it can result in major, major, misunderstanding.....don't ask ). Other than that....I hope you score the jackpot!

[thantor3]

One of the things that you might want to keep in mind is this... moments like these occur rarely in the course of a lifetime. More frequently, of course, at the beginning of one's romantic life but all too infrequently over all. For that reason, you may want to savor the experience you are having and not get too caught up in "getting the girl" or wanting things to move quickly in a certain direction. The unfolding of a relationship has many things in common with exquisite lovemaking, and being focused in the moment, attentive to every nuance, is high on the list.

I do have one suggestion. As you no doubt know, since you post here, writing can be an excellent way to help make sense of things. Keeping a diary or a journal will not only allow you another way to spend time with the object of your affections, but it will also create a record that you can look back on... and smile...

[Galuf the Dwarf]

Alright, this is something I guess that I to get across. I understand that she is a sentient, thinking being. I respect that in ALL women. 2/3 of my friends in high school were girls, mainly because I listen to girls with respect. I apologize if I sound a little rash with this, but I just wanted you all to understand that I'm not trying to totally get my way through attempting to slowly start a relationship. Okay?

[The Z]

Quote:

Originally posted by Galuf the Dwarf Alright, this is something I guess that I to get across. I understand that she is a sentient, thinking being. I respect that in ALL women. 2/3 of my friends in high school were girls, mainly because I listen to girls with respect. I apologize if I sound a little rash with this, but I just wanted you all to understand that I'm not trying to totally get my way through attempting to slowly start a relationship. Okay?

No need to apologize. It didn't seem rash at all to me.

[Sytze]

I had the same feeling also some weeks ago Galuf, so I can kinda relate to what you are saying. (I'm actually still in the same "position")

I also posted a thread here, and the replies I got here really helped me get through the situation....
Just talking about it already helped. If you want to read the high quality advice I got, then say so, and I shall post a link (or just do a search )


Anyway, I hope things will turn out in your favor. I just wanted to wish you good luck and that you have my support...
Just dont try to rush things

[Galuf the Dwarf]

Quote:

Originally posted by Sytze I had the same feeling also some weeks ago Galuf, so I can kinda relate to what you are saying. (I'm actually still in the same "position") I also posted a thread here, and the replies I got here really helped me get through the situation.... Just talking about it already helped. If you want to read the high quality advice I got, then say so, and I shall post a link (or just do a search ) Anyway, I hope things will turn out in your favor. I just wanted to wish you good luck and that you have my support... Just dont try to rush things

Yeah, I finally got a chance to read the entire topic a few minutes earlier. Sounds like good advice above all, especially from Thantor.

Yesterday, after my Developmental Reading/Writing course ended an hour early, I was hanging around, wandering and listening to conversations. The thing is, when nobody's around me (since I'm wandering around the the hallways of the school by the classroom), my legs are literally quivering like their losing their foundation, and I feel so angry with my self over not trying to at least get into a conversation with her (she was already in one with somebody else, so I didn't wish to interupt). I eventually say goodbye to this girl and the people around the class (those that didn't leave yet). She smiles and waves, and so I make my way out. After I'm completely away from there, I'm shaking, nervous, and I can't hardly speak right under my breath.

This has only been the start of my third week of class. How do I sound at this point?

[VonDondu]

Quote:

Originally posted by Galuf the Dwarf ...After I'm completely away from there, I'm shaking, nervous, and I can't hardly speak right under my breath. This has only been the start of my third week of class. How do I sound at this point?

Please pardon the blunt advice, but it sounds like you're in trouble to me. You're showing the physical signs of lovesickness. If you're not already involved with her, that's not a good thing. (It's too risky.) Ideally, you'd be breathless after talking to her, not breathless because you haven't been able to talk to her. If she doesn't return your affection soon, I'm afraid you're going to be hurt.

I'm sorry to be such a spoilsport, but being lovesick is not any fun.

[Galuf the Dwarf]

Quote:

Originally posted by VonDondu Please pardon the blunt advice, but it sounds like you're in trouble to me. You're showing the physical signs of lovesickness. If you're not already involved with her, that's not a good thing. (It's too risky.) Ideally, you'd be breathless after talking to her, not breathless because you haven't been able to talk to her. If she doesn't return your affection soon, I'm afraid you're going to be hurt. I'm sorry to be such a spoilsport, but being lovesick is not any fun.

I was afraid of that (the lovesickness part).

Today wasn't so bad. She did make an appearance (this class being an 'Introductory to College' course), and I played it smooth. I didn't have much to say, but what I did was that I tried to help her with a Math assignment. Unfortunately, I wasn't much help, but I was able to let it go at that. *shrugs innocently*

I guess that eventually, I may be able to get a chance to socialize with her on a more private level. She seems happy to be around me. She says "hi" to me when she meets me some times at work (we both work at a local Wal-Mart).