Fingermeat.

[Tricky]

Not slang.

Now, I'm not a fat person, but the backsides of the tips of my fingers are slightly bulbous. My fingers are pretty long too, it's suction cups short of looking like an alien hand. Think it's maybe because I type so much? It's a slight problem when I play acoustic guitar, I sometimes barely touch snares I shouldn't touch, but I can pretty much forget about electrical.

I figure Americans know everything there is to know about losing weight. So, OY, how do I get thin fingers?

[penguin_king]

offtopic a little, but that has to be the strangest question ive heard today.

"how do i get thin fingers"

[Argonian Thief]

Queer Thread Name. As far as I know there is no way to get thin fingers.

[Claudius]

I think if you are in general overweight then losing weight you would hope some would come off the finger?

But its probable that you just have genetic variation to have fat distributed to your finger. It might stay there even if you were very skinny.

Well look at the bright side. You HAVE fingers.

[Chanak]

It's simple, really. Subject your fingers to a rigorous exercise and dietary regimen.

- Push-ups. Strap a dictionary around your hand. Preferably a meaty one full of hundreds of pages of redundancy (in other words, any dictionary of the Queen's English). Commence 4-count push-ups using the fingers - each finger by itself. First week: 25 4-count push-ups per finger, 3 times per day each digit. Second week: 40 4-counters per digit 4 times a day. Third week: 55 4-counters per finger 5 times a day. And so on. By week four your fingers will be...formidable.

- Diet. Cut out the sweets for the fingers. No ice cream. Snickers bars. Etc. Eat only when hungry. Watch the calories for those fingers.

- Stretching. Gotta stretch those fingers man. Can't have any injuries. 5 minutes of dedicated stretching per finger 3 times a day.

- Jogging and aerobics. You have to make those fingers work the cardiovascular system...ummm, well, whatever equivalent they may have of one. So at least once per day, each finger should spend 30 minutes doing nothing but high-impact aerobic exercise. What exactly this aerobic exercise is...well...that is your business.

[Tricky]

Yay.

[SupaCat]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tricky Not slang. but I can pretty much forget about electrical.

Why do you have to forget about electrical?

[Argonian Thief]

or simply replace your fingers with someone else's by getting surgery, and paying over thousands of dollars If your YOUR that desperate.

[Claudius]

Don't overlook finger liposuction. hehe.

[Tricky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SupaCat Why do you have to forget about electrical?

Strings are even closer together. And I meant to say strings before, not snares.

OOC, coming up with names for my weird obsessions is another fetish of mine.

[Chanak]

Solution for playing an electric: 4 string bass. Big strings...big enough to accommodate your fleshy fingertips.

[Moonbiter]

...or a guitar with more frets. That was my sollution. Start playing the piano like I did, 4 hours a day for about ten years, and I promise you'll have the most snazzy, slim fingers there is. The negative side is that your fingertips will be cushioned, so you need to shell out for a 64-fret electric guitar if you want to solo....

[Fiberfar]

Well, I've seen a 29 fret guitar, but 64?
Might as well put six strings on a 10 feet board and start playing on that, then.

[Moonbiter]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiberfar Well, I've seen a 29 fret guitar, but 64? Might as well put six strings on a 10 feet board and start playing on that, then.

Exactly!

[Tricky]

Let me just state that no likely solution will involve me buying a new guitar.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moonbiter ...or a guitar with more frets. That was my sollution. Start playing the piano like I did, 4 hours a day for about ten years, and I promise you'll have the most snazzy, slim fingers there is. The negative side is that your fingertips will be cushioned, so you need to shell out for a 64-fret electric guitar if you want to solo....

I've been the piano playing since 1991, just not a whole lot recently. Honestly, I forgot about that when thinking about possible causes. Yeah, I've had a computer for maybe nine years. I've been playing the piano a whole lot longer.

My fingers are slim (as well as long). but it's that cushion area that's slightly wider. It's flattened at exactly the right angle for playing the piano. How weird that I never noticed that. Anyway, since I'm much more using the tips of my fingers more when I (attempt) to play guitar, the cushion area pokes back a bit and touches the string next to it. I can avoid it a little by pushing the string up, in the direction of the nail, but then you also bend toward flats all the time.

I thought about wrapping my fingertips up in tape or cellophane. Or maybe a really tight glove.