| | | | 
02-28-2002, 02:44 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Rock 'n Roll Highschool
Posts: 2,682
| | |
__________________
Love and Hope and Sex and Dreams are Still Surviving on the Street
| | |
02-28-2002, 03:54 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: May 2001 Location: Springfield
Posts: 4,855
| | |
@frogus,
it never ceases to amaze me, the strange crap one can find on the internet
__________________
Crush enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women.
| | |
02-28-2002, 07:03 PM
|  | Super Moderator | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The sun, the moon, and the stars.
Posts: 30,303
| |
Please, gentles. Let's keep the focus in this august symposium on the materials presented by our members, among whom you are numbered. Feel free to read some of the content and, if you wish, to comment upon its scholarly implications. 
__________________
To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe. | | |
03-01-2002, 10:59 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Rock 'n Roll Highschool
Posts: 2,682
| |
sorry fable....but c'mon! midget tossing!
__________________
Love and Hope and Sex and Dreams are Still Surviving on the Street
| | |
03-01-2002, 11:51 AM
| | Super Moderator | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The sun, the moon, and the stars.
Posts: 30,303
| |  Quote: Originally posted by frogus
sorry fable....but c'mon! midget tossing! | And your point is...? @Frogus, with respect, you have no tactical military sense if you cannot perceive the value of hurling an intelligent, dangerous creature at the enemy in battle: a berserk dwarf with a flaming beard, a halfling bearing heated shish-ka-bob skewers; a gnome, suffering a terrible head cold. The effects have been noted time and again through history; to deny it is to deny the efficaciousness (under other circumstances) of the yeoman, or artillery, or siege devices.
I invite you to dip back in these pages, and refresh your memory with the information presented. If you still feel as you currently do after you've finished, we can debate this anew. Until then, I feel that all conversation will be superfluous.
__________________
To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe. | | |
03-01-2002, 04:00 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Canada
Posts: 3,062
| | |
Ok, so we all think that Dwarves are the best projectiles, because they are down right vicious when drunk.
Halflings are too well distracted, as was said earlier in the thread.
Anything else?
__________________
If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.
| | |
03-01-2002, 07:55 PM
| | Super Moderator | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The sun, the moon, and the stars.
Posts: 30,303
| |
@Gaxx, you are engaging in a calumny against the dwarves. I forgive you and your ignorance, although there are many dwarves out there who may feel otherwise; and if I were you--just as a friendly piece of advice--I would certainly invest in a good, stiff iron shirt collar, and soon, if you take my meaning.
For certainly, there is nothing in this information that suggest dwarves should be thrown at an enemy when drunk. You need to read the materials again. And you forgot to mention gnomes, at all. Alas. 
__________________
To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe. | | |
03-02-2002, 05:47 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Rock 'n Roll Highschool
Posts: 2,682
| | Quote: |
@Frogus, with respect, you have no tactical military sense if you cannot perceive the value of hurling an intelligent, dangerous creature at the enemy in battle
| hmmm...I believe I am starting to be swayed...arghh...alright. I'm fine now. What do you think about practical applications of midget tossing in the War Against Terrorism?
Terrorism, meet
Quote: |
a berserk dwarf with a flaming beard, a halfling bearing heated shish-ka-bob skewers; a gnome, suffering a terrible head cold.
| ......
Quote: |
a berserk dwarf with a flaming beard, a halfling bearing heated shish-ka-bob skewers; a gnome, suffering a terrible head cold.
| meet Terrorism!
__________________
Love and Hope and Sex and Dreams are Still Surviving on the Street
| | |
03-02-2002, 06:53 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,084
| | Quote: Originally posted by Gaxx_Firkraag
Ok, so we all think that Dwarves are the best projectiles, because they are down right vicious when drunk.
Halflings are too well distracted, as was said earlier in the thread.
Anything else? | Once again it must be reiterated that the halfling's tendency to be distracted by the aroma of foodstuffs is quite easily countered, and in fact, can be exploited to make him a superior projectile: Methodology - One can simply blindfold the halfling in question as well have him don a nose-plug before launching.
- Taking advantage of the halfling's preference for washing down delictables with alcoholic beverages, one can simply "paint the target" with the appropriate thirst-quencher. The aforementioned halfling, once launched, will home in on the aroma with a high degree of accuracy.
__________________
There's nothing a little poison couldn't cure... What happened here was the gradual habituation of the people, ... to receiving decisions deliberated in secret; to believing that the situation was so complicated that the government had to act on information which the people could not understand, or so dangerous that, even if he people could understand it, it could not be released because of national security. | | |
03-02-2002, 08:23 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: The edge of reality
Posts: 1,286
| | |
To the editor of this august journal, Dwarven Throwers,
Dear Sir/Madam,
It was with some considerable dismay that on a trip to the local scroll repository to get an updated wind velocity vs. coefficent of drag table that, while waiting for the Imp to return from the stacks that I came upon the November 1953 edition of your publication. It was in the returned periodicals bin. As a practicing balistics engineer I feel oblidged to make the following (basic) points.
The esoteric projectiles which are being discussed: Gnomes, Svirfneblin, Halflings, et al. are really still completely experimental. Any of your good readers who were to try them in the field could be seriously disappointed and/or injured. While I encourage fundamental research, as a lifelong practitioner I must draw atention to the basic FACTS.
Energy is the result of the mass times the velocity times the velocity (no I don't have a stutter). To gain the best results requires that the projectile be of some mass but it is terminal velocity through the air which has the greatest, may I say, impact on the final result. It may appear obvious once explicitly stated but the dwarf has a number of inherant advantages over other munitions.
It should come as no surprise that dwarves have a long standing tradition of consentual usage, where is the historical evidence for say gnomes? A few anecdotes from sources such as 'Uncle Sratchy' are hardly scientific evidence. The historic tradition has placed pride into the Dwarven Projectile which can not be overlooked in any practicle application. Any attempt to distract or over bloat the say halfling is just that an attempt to distract. Focus is what is needed.
More interestingly however, the dwarf also has an inherent quality which makes them more suitable, modesty. A dwarf (male or female) would do just about anything to prevent (especially the enemy) seeing up their mail skirts. When the rifling throwing technique is employed, the immediate benefits which come from the improved aerodynamics of the firmly held down skirt are quite astonishing. In fact, in my student days Dean Fractious failed to take this into account in his tuitorial calculations and a whole squad of dwarves overshot the target range by some 200 yards seriously disrupting the school of bards next door (Ah the happy memorys).
So in closing I would state simply that wild conjecture on modern methods and materials is well and good but please ensure that the fundamentals get a sound hearing also. The new composite covering materials required for the sucessful use of halflings and gnomes are hellish expensive and currently obtainable only from those stiff frock hocus pocus merchants from Thay.
Yours
Rumblebum Thundergut BE ME PhD fellow of the college of Dwarven Projectiles.
 | | |
08-24-2002, 06:59 AM
| | Super Moderator | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The sun, the moon, and the stars.
Posts: 30,303
| |
I heartily concur with my split personality's comments in that last post, and am bumping this again! Now, if you'll excuse me, the pair of us intend to locate our id and superego and get up a game of poker.
__________________
To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe. | | |
08-25-2002, 02:21 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Australia
Posts: 6,339
| |
Ah, the return of the Dwarf throwing thread.
"No one tosses a dwarf!" 
__________________
Proud SLURRite Gunner of the Rolling Thunder (TM) - Visitors WELCOME!
( Feel free to join us for a drink, play some pool or even relax in a hottub - want to learn more?
The soul must be free, whatever the cost.
| | |
08-26-2002, 01:41 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Canada
Posts: 3,062
| | |
So, I believe the use of dwarves as projectiles has been throughly debated, and it was shown that dwarves are preferable to halflings (halflings being easily distracted in mid-flight, I believe).
I've forgotten though, why not use gnomes?
__________________
If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.
| | |
08-26-2002, 03:42 AM
|  | Paladin of Torm | | Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Reading, England
Posts: 5,085
| |
Ah, welcome Gaxx! What would stop you from using gnomes as ammunition? Well the simple fact that gnomes soar and generally drift away from said targets. That and their huge shonks losing aerodynamics. 
__________________
Perverteer Paladin
| | |
08-26-2002, 12:27 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Canada
Posts: 3,062
| | Quote: Originally posted by Nippy
Ah, welcome Gaxx! What would stop you from using gnomes as ammunition? Well the simple fact that gnomes soar and generally drift away from said targets. That and their huge shonks losing aerodynamics. | True, true. As already said, dwarves are the most preferable ammunition, because when drunk, they become vicious. Also, they are not easily distracted, and when set on fire, they become even madder (hence more damaging to the target).
Goblins, on the other hand, are a little too weak to be considered good missiles.
__________________
If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.
| | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | | Display Modes | Rate This Thread |  Linear Mode | | 
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | | |
