Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)

[C Elegans]

I am not at all a mean and vile person (although I know people here at SYM have felt that way when I question the validity of their opinions). I don't like to waste time and energy on people I dislike. I am completely bored with communicating and socilising with people I don't like, so picking fights or provoking them to interact with me is the last thing I'd be interested to do. I only intervene with people I don't like if they express opinions or perform acts that I consider destructive to other people.

I have however done some really low and mean things although I didn't mean to, and I have also done some really low and mean things just out of lacking impulse control.

When I was around 13-14, I and some of my girls friends would dress upp to look like prosititues and then go to the most infamous prositution street in town with a big gang of guy friends. The guys use to steal spray colour cans from road work and construction sites, and bring these. They would hide while I and my friend walked the street. As soon as a car stopped and we were sure from the conversation that this was indeed a potential custumer, we would give a sign and the guys would rush forward and stop the car from moving and spary the most degrading word there is in Swedish language for a person who buys sex from prostitutes. It's only five letters, so it was usually all over car before the driver found to get out. They used to target the windshield first, then the sides of the car.
Not a very good idea. If you want to decrease prostitution there are better ways to work than to target single individuals in meaningless destruction acts.

Another low thing was when I a friend of mine was severely depressed and unhappy. She was the kind of girl who would always drink herself into a stupor when she was unhappy. She was a typical mixed-anxiety-depression person, although I didn't realise that by the time of course, I was only about 14-15. Anyway, she was unhappy because she had been in love with a guy for over a year, and introduced me and another friend who was her best friend, to this guy who was at the same college as her. The guy and the best friend fell in love, and became a couple. This put a lot of strain on their friendship of course, and I worked as a kind of diplomat between the former best friends, trying to improve their relationship since both of them were good friends of mine.
This particular evening we were all at the same party and my friend drank herself almost unconscious immediately. After having been asleep at a sofa for quite a while, she suddenly woke up, started to cry hysterically and shouted that she was going to kill herself and jump in front of a train and ran away out from the flat. I and the guy she was in love with ran after her (the best friend had left early because she had an exam the day after) but we saw her disappear down in the metro station around the corner. We ran after, when we came down to the platform, it was all empty. We feared the worst. We shouted into the dark tunnel, but no reply and we saw nothing. We ran up to the station guard and asked if he could stop the traffic, but he said it was impossible since there was no means to communicate with the drivers. After what felt like a very long discussion, we managed to convince him to call the police, who in turn could report to the public transport central, who in turn could stop the traffic. All this took some time, and when we went down to the platform again a train was just approaching. We didn't know what happened to our friend. We didn't know if she was still somewhere in the tunnels, if she had maybe been run over by this train...we were completely at loss at what to do. Confused and frightened, we decided to go to his house, wait for a while and then try to phone the girl (this was long ago, nobody had a mobile except rich businessmen). When we came to his house, we phoned the girl, several times, but she didn't answer. Our fears that she was dead increased. He started to play a Bach fuga (I don't remember which one) on the organ he kept in the cellar, and when he finished playing we suddenly started to have very intense sex on the floor. Unfortunately the sex was really good, the best I'd had so far in my young life, so there was no thought of stopping. After 2 hours or so when we were finished with this adrenaline-spiced sex, I asked him "are you going to tell NN (the girlrfriend)?" He said no. Since she was my friend, I knew they had agreed on a monogamous relationship, I said "Then I tell her". He said ok, then he made some tea and then I left.
The day after, I met my friend and told her the whole story. Her response was "What a bastard, I'm going to wait one week and if he hasn't told me by then, I'll dump him". She waited for one week, then she dumped him. And about our friend who ran away...it turned out that she had caught a train who left just seconds before I and the guy reached the platform, so we never understood that there was the possibility that she was disappeared simply because she just caught a train. She had gone home, fell asleep like dead, not heard when we tried to phone her and awaken the next evening with the worst hang-over of her life. The good thing though was that their friendship was restored after this, and amazingly none of then had any hard feelings towards me.

Another really low thing was with a boyfriend I had when I was about 17-18. I was so used to everybody having open relationships in the social circles I hanged in, so I never really discussed the thing with him. After some months, I started to realise that this guy was completely different. By the way he was speaking, I could induce that he was sort of taking for granted that loving relationships should be monogamous by default. Oh my. So one long night I told him "Listen, I've been cheating on you". He looked very surprised and asked "Really? Geez, when did this happen?". My heart almost stopped as I realised that he believed it was only one time, and one guy.
That was the beginning of a long night, and it was actually also the beginning of one of the best relationships I've had. After a long discussion and explanation, he asked "So does this in any way affect your love for me?" and I said no, not at all, it's totally disparate things and then he asked "So does it influence our relationship at all?" and I said no, no more than having one friend affects the relationship with another friend, and then he concluded "Then I don't care". And contrary to many other people I've met, he really meant it.

So, now I have told you the lowest acts I've ever done. Happy endings...but certainly not thanks to me.

[Chimaera182]

Hrm. Thursday night, some friends and I went and moved Bibles around the bookstore, took them from the religious section and put them in the fiction section. Not that that was entirely bad, just fun. What made it bad was when I put some Anne Rice novels--a friend had read part of one but stopped when it turned into blatant homosexual sex (she told me to read it, and oh my god, even I was traumatized)--in the religious section; she found a book in the cooking section called The Cake Bible, and I found in the sexuality section a book called The God-Shaped Hole, and we put both of those in the religious section, as well.

[Lestat]

Originally Posted by Chimaera182

Hrm. Thursday night, some friends and I went and moved Bibles around the bookstore, took them from the religious section and put them in the fiction section. Not that that was entirely bad, just fun. What made it bad was when I put some Anne Rice novels--a friend had read part of one but stopped when it turned into blatant homosexual sex (she told me to read it, and oh my god, even I was traumatized)--in the religious section; she found a book in the cooking section called The Cake Bible, and I found in the sexuality section a book called The God-Shaped Hole, and we put both of those in the religious section, as well.

Well, with all the heavy religious references and her returning to the welcome embrace of the Mother Church, Mrs. Rice's novels are not that much out of place in the religious sex.. uh section.

[Chimaera182]

Originally Posted by Lestat

Well, with all the heavy religious references and her returning to the welcome embrace of the Mother Church, Mrs. Rice's novels are not that much out of place in the religious sex.. uh section.

LOL well I wouldn't know; I only read that one, uh, saucy bit. I don't know if I'm going to be doing many other dirty deeds for a while; my cognitive reasoning is failing me, my ability to concentrate is nearly nonexistant, and my free time to conjure up ideas and execute them is dedicated to the mind-deadening picture box. TV... -begins holy chant-

Er, anyway, tomorow, my friend Jenn (the one who made me read the Rice novel) and I plan on singing in our 9:30 am class a song. Just spontaneously break out in song. It's a catchy little diddy called "Everyone Else has had More Sex Than Me." It's sure to surprise the heck out of our professor; on Thursday, another friend was trying to remember a song with the word "p---ycat" in it, and I busted out with a Tom Jones song. The look I got from the professor was about as good a one I could've ever imagined, and I didn't even think I was loud enough for him to hear. But yeah, that's what I'm doing tomorrow morning before I hand in an 8-9 page paper I haven't even started yet.

[Ravager]

Originally Posted by Chimaera182

Er, anyway, tomorow, my friend Jenn (the one who made me read the Rice novel) and I plan on singing in our 9:30 am class a song. Just spontaneously break out in song. It's a catchy little diddy called "Everyone Else has had More Sex Than Me."

Haha. That should be interesting.

[Magrus]

Originally Posted by Chimaera182

Er, anyway, tomorow, my friend Jenn (the one who made me read the Rice novel) and I plan on singing in our 9:30 am class a song. Just spontaneously break out in song. It's a catchy little diddy called "Everyone Else has had More Sex Than Me."

Is that the one from the flash video with all the rabbits?

[Chimaera182]

Originally Posted by Magrus

Is that the one from the flash video with all the rabbits?

Yup. That's the one. I saw it several years ago, forgot it existed, and a friend pointed it out to me last week. I showed Ravager, since I knew Mr. Bunn-ay would appreciate it, and he did; I would've posted it in its own thread instead for all to enjoy, but I didn't feel like discovering the limits of the board.

Actually, in an act of total sadism--which just comes too naturally to me--I'm considering leading the song, and then dropping it so Jenn winds up singing it alone and embarrassing herself. She won't care, but it'll be funny all the same.

[Magrus]

Originally Posted by Chimaera182

Yup. That's the one. I saw it several years ago, forgot it existed, and a friend pointed it out to me last week. I showed Ravager, since I knew Mr. Bunn-ay would appreciate it, and he did; I would've posted it in its own thread instead for all to enjoy, but I didn't feel like discovering the limits of the board.

Actually, in an act of total sadism--which just comes too naturally to me--I'm considering leading the song, and then dropping it so Jenn winds up singing it alone and embarrassing herself. She won't care, but it'll be funny all the same.

That's a funny video! Lina sent it to me last year when we were chatting online one night. The one part with the bunny from the rear was disturbing though.

Btw, I love your sig!

[Chimaera182]

Originally Posted by Magrus

That's a funny video! Lina sent it to me last year when we were chatting online one night. The one part with the bunny from the rear was disturbing though.

Btw, I love your sig!

Yeah, it's great. I love the bunny with the 3.5 But yeah, I always kinda cringe when you see the bunny rear like that. I also find the Michael Jackson pose equally disturbing.

Heh thanks. I needed a new one; I almost went with something I posted in another thread about making people look.

[Magrus]

Yeah, that one is disturbing too.

Hmm, cant recall that one. My sig is changing as soon as I can taunt Tony with what I have now. I change mine a lot.

[ik911]

CE: That are some crazy stories! (You sure you're not haunted by a lively imagination? )

The most out-of-character thing I ever did was one afternoon when I was cycling home and some dude in a car got impatient and he was almost driving on my rear wheel on purpose to let me know I should get the hell out of his way, which I couldn't and certainly didn't feel like.

Then, when he finally got past, he cut me off. His window was down. I spat him in the face. He tried to pursue me, but cars don't do alleys. He deserved it.

I'm almost ashamed I can't think of anything more evil. I probably (accidently) talked some naive people into killing themselves, but that's my nature, as many of you know.

[ch85us2001]

Well, I should tell you my most evil, but I dont think I have one. Never taken advantage of any girls *sigh*, never smacked any body around, never damaged any property. I suppose the worst thing I do is drive around throwing fruit and vegetables (rotten mind you, I would never waste good food!) at road signs. It doesnt hurt 'em, they just go PIOOOOONG really loud. ) Corn is the best.

But, considering I usually do this with my father and brother (we'll take a morning and all our rotten stuff and go signing some days) and I always make sure theyre are no cars around, It's not that evil.


Oh, and I accidently threw one of those popper (the ones you throw and the ground and they go BANG) fireworks out of a car near an old lady. I laughed for a really long time, then I felt bad, then I laughed.


@ CE: Er . . . wow. Quite a big post!