| | Dealing with dishonest ex-druggie
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05-19-2006, 07:13 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Helsinki, Finland
Posts: 64
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Speed and heroin one. Not light stuff.
Another chance or immediate dispatch?
Obviously he's clean now, but he hasn't told us anything about the former problem. This is a band rehearsal place issue. I've posted this thing to several boards to get wide opinion. We use booze and hash heavily too, so we're really open minded about this issue.
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05-19-2006, 07:14 PM
|  | Banned | | Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,363
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Dishonest, or merely reticent?
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05-19-2006, 07:25 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Helsinki, Finland
Posts: 64
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It doesn't matter. Because considering the gear and space issues everything should have been told in the first second.
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05-19-2006, 07:57 PM
|  | Moderator | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: UK
Posts: 3,278
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If he is clean now then does it matter if he doesn't feel able to talk about his former problem. Surely the important thing is that he knew he had a problem and has sorted it out.
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05-19-2006, 10:16 PM
|  | Banned | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Chasing nuns out in the yard
Posts: 4,612
| |  Quote: |
Originally Posted by mr_sir If he is clean now then does it matter if he doesn't feel able to talk about his former problem. Surely the important thing is that he knew he had a problem and has sorted it out. | Well it should matter because it obviously isn't sorted out if he's incapable of talking about it. I'm the forgiving type, though, and give would him a second shot.
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05-19-2006, 10:31 PM
|  | Moderator | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Hell if I know
Posts: 15,458
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Maybe some people are just not comfortable talking about certain things. Just because someone doesn't talk about an issue doesn;t automatically mean that it isn't sorted out. He may not be incapable of talking about it, he may just not want to talk about it for any range of reasons from considering it too personal to just figureing it's none of anyones business.
I don;t see it as any different than if someone doesn;t want to discuss something like a bad relationship, divorce, being abused at some point, or any other wide range of things that are quite frankly none of anyone elses business.
If, as you stated, he's clean now, why would you write someone off simply because they want their own personal privacy? if it becomes a problem again at some point, that's different, but simply dispatching someone because they won't talk about something that they may just consider none of anyone's business of not relevant to thier current situation.
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05-19-2006, 10:39 PM
| | Moderator | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: UK
Posts: 3,278
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Originally Posted by TonyMontana1638 Well it should matter because it obviously isn't sorted out if he's incapable of talking about it. I'm the forgiving type, though, and give would him a second shot. | There are quite a few things from when I was growing up that I don't feel comfortable talking about to anyone but my closest friends but they are still sorted out. Unless there is evidence that he is still using drugs or that he is stealing or anything like that, I'd give him another chance. Even if there is evidence like that I'd still try to talk to him about it and help him and give him another chance. I firmly believe that everyone makes mistakes and deserves not to be judged by other people.
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05-20-2006, 12:19 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,591
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I agree with Mr. Sir and Bloodstalker--its in the past, it doesn't matter now.
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05-20-2006, 12:49 AM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Chasing nuns out in the yard
Posts: 4,612
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Hmmm... Well ok, maybe you're right. I don't know if I'd necessarily want to talk about problems like that with coworkers or even some friends. I was thinking more in a rehabilitation sense, like if he's not talking to doctors or people like that but discussing a heroin problem might be tough even with those really close to me. Good point.
Regardless, like I said before I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and a second chance.
Last edited by TonyMontana1638; 05-20-2006 at 12:54 AM.
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05-20-2006, 12:53 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,591
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@Tony--exactly, we don't bring up in conversation that we used to wear diapers, and hopefully we won't return to that habit for many more years!
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05-20-2006, 12:54 AM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,262
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*Shrugs*
Never really known any ex-speed/heroin junkies, so I don't really know, but I guess it can't hurt to give him a trial period...like...say a few months?
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05-20-2006, 12:55 AM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Chasing nuns out in the yard
Posts: 4,612
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Originally Posted by shana @Tony--exactly, we don't bring up in conversation that we used to wear diapers, and hopefully we won't return to that habit for many more years! | 
You mean you don't wear diapers anym...
Erm, nevermind. I judged him too quickly.  | | |
05-20-2006, 12:58 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,591
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Dry for 3 days running!
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05-20-2006, 12:59 AM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,262
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Heh, wow, I've been sat here for four hours just because I couldn't be bothered to plug the Gamecube back in to continue playing. 
Oh, yeah, reason I wasn't around, laziness and gaming, can you blame me? 
Right...got to go game shopping in a while and swimming a while after that.
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05-20-2006, 01:01 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,591
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What time is it there? I'm so tired I'm typing with two fingers!
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