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12-14-2005, 10:27 AM
|  | Banned | | Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Having an alibi.
Posts: 4,249
| | | Cemetery full so mayor proposes solution -- no more dying
Die at your own risk, mayor proposes
Proposal: Residents should mind 'health in order not to die'
Tuesday, December 13, 2005; Posted: 11:42 p.m. EST (04:42 GMT)
BIRITIBA MIRIM, Brazil (AP) -- There's no more room to bury the dead, they can't be cremated and laws forbid a new cemetery. So the mayor of this Brazilian farm town has proposed a solution: outlaw death.
Mayor Roberto Pereira da Silva's proposal to the Town Council asks residents to "take good care of your health in order not to die" and warns that "infractors will be held responsible for their acts."
The bill, which sets no penalty for passing away, is meant to protest a federal law that has barred a new or expanded cemetery in Biritiba Mirim, a town of 28,000 people 45 miles east of Sao Paulo.
"Of course the bill is laughable, unconstitutional, and will never be approved," said Gilson Soares de Campos, an aide to the mayor. "But can you think of a better marketing strategy?"
A 2003 decree by Brazil's National Environment Council bars new or expanded cemeteries in so-called permanent preservation areas or in areas with high water tables. Environmental protection measures rule out cremation.
(...)
Biritiba Marim isn't the first Brazilian town to draw attention with an unusual law. A few years ago, a mayor in Parana state banned the sale of condoms, arguing that his town needed to increase its population to keep qualifying for federal aid. Drugstores ignored the ban.
De Campos said his town wants the Environment Council to change the wording of the cemetery decree to allow exceptions approved by environmentalists.
Biritiba Mirim has set aside public land -- five times the size of the current graveyard -- for a cemetery that environmental experts from the University of Sao Paulo say "will not affect the region's water tables or surrounding environment," de Campos said.
The Environment Council declined to comment before a meeting to discuss the matter with local officials Thursday.
Meanwhile, town officials say they are hoping no one else dies.
Too good not to share.   |
12-14-2005, 10:30 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NY
Posts: 16,953
| |  I'm surprised people in my area haven't started dumping the bodies in Lake Ontario to be perfectly honest with you. This, is vastly amusing though. Maybe they'll start making multi-story cemeteries now? 
__________________ "You can do whatever you want to me."
"Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?"
"So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone" |
12-14-2005, 10:49 AM
|  | Moderator and Twisted Sister | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
Posts: 19,192
| | ROFLMAO!
Are you sure you didn't find this in The Onion Ik?
Why not just incorporate the three Rs of today instead:
Reduce
Reuse
Recycle
You know... diamonds...glue..... 
__________________
testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.
Last edited by dragon wench; 12-14-2005 at 11:10 AM..
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12-14-2005, 10:56 AM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Having an alibi.
Posts: 4,249
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by dragon wench ROFLMAO!
Are you sure you didn't find this in The Onion Ik?
Why not just incorporate the three Rs these of today instead:
Reduce
Reuse
Recycle
You know... diamonds...glue..... |
From CNN
Definitely not. Just a Brazilian with a good sense of humor; a rarity. (should I mention Luis somewhere, or does he get my poke?) |
12-14-2005, 11:01 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NY
Posts: 16,953
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by dragon wench Why not just incorporate the three Rs these of today instead:
Reduce
Reuse
Recycle
You know... diamonds...glue..... | Heh, really, what are we going to use them for? I can just imagine the responses most religions would have to such things. I mean, well... I probably shouldn't get into brainstorming about this here. 
__________________ "You can do whatever you want to me."
"Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?"
"So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone" |
12-14-2005, 11:05 AM
|  | Banned | | Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Here
Posts: 4,822
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by dragon wench ROFLMAO!
Are you sure you didn't find this in The Onion Ik?
Why not just incorporate the three Rs these of today instead:
Reduce
Reuse
Recycle
You know... diamonds...glue..... | Recycle... Soylent Green? |
12-14-2005, 11:29 AM
| | Moderator and Twisted Sister | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
Posts: 19,192
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Lestat Recycle... Soylent Green? | 
And I thought I was being sick!
Actually I was thinking more along the lines of erm...glue which can be made from bones, and diamonds...which can be made from ashes.. so I gather.
Leads to some interesting speculation though.. Somebody gets married following the death of a spouse.... Just guess the origin of that engagement ring...
Um sorry... I'll get back on my meds now 
__________________
testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain. |
12-14-2005, 11:42 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: back from the dead, back from The End
Posts: 4,733
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by dragon wench Actually I was thinking more along the lines of erm...glue which can be made from bones, and diamonds...which can be made from ashes.. so I gather.
Leads to some interesting speculation though.. Somebody gets married following the death of a spouse.... Just guess the origin of that engagement ring... | ROFL!!!
"See this ring? It has been made of my grandmother! Oh, and you can have this necklace, it's made from my uncle!" 
Yes, I'm sick
__________________ "As we all know, holy men were born during Christmas...
Like mr. Holopainen over there!"
- Marco Hietala, the bass player of Nightwish |
12-14-2005, 11:54 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NY
Posts: 16,953
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by dragon wench | Bah, sanity is boring and overrated.
Puts a new spin on "body jewelry" eh? I most definately know it would sell to certain individuals. Anything to piss of someone's parents.
__________________ "You can do whatever you want to me."
"Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?"
"So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone" |
12-14-2005, 12:05 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Here
Posts: 4,822
| | "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" takes on a whole new meaning too. |
12-14-2005, 12:12 PM
| | Moderator and Twisted Sister | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
Posts: 19,192
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Lestat "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" takes on a whole new meaning too. | *snorts*
Not to mention: "Diamonds are Forever"
__________________
testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain. |
12-14-2005, 02:07 PM
|  | Banned | | Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,363
| | | I don't know. There is a certain charm in the idea of remembering your loved ones in this way. It's quite sentimental, I grant, but it has a curious appeal |
12-14-2005, 02:21 PM
|  | Banned | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: There
Posts: 4,139
| | | ... unless you lose your loved one down the drain... |
12-14-2005, 02:29 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,363
| | | You'd still have had them longer than you would if you hadn't done it. Though the guilt might be bad if you were sentimental enough to do it in the first place, I suppose. Maybe the water company would work harder to recover it if it was your mother. You think? |
12-14-2005, 03:33 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: There
Posts: 4,139
| | | Thatd be a phone call
"Hello this is the plumbing emergency hotline, how may i help you?"
"Yes, I just dropped my mother down the drain and i cant get her out, please send some one quickly, im going out tonight, and I cant go with out my mother, everyone wanted to see her!"
"What?!? Who are you? dont call unless you have a real emergency! *hangs up phone*... kids today... where did I put that pamplet for the clinic? ahah here it is, if your inteerested... cant terminate after second trimester... dr KEvorkian can help with guilt feelings..., well that helped."
Back on topic, it is kind of crazy, wonder if there are any neighboring towns they can borrow some land from... or they can do what they did in the Fuedal Eroupe, rent out plots, if you stop paying rent, youre dug up and put somewhere else to make room for someone else. | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | | Display Modes | Rate This Thread |  Linear Mode | | 
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