(Disclaimer: This in only a joke, and is in no way meant to disrespect real patients or professionals in this area.)
(A sweet, heavy odour of chemicals reach you nostrils. Glass containers with boiling and smoking liquids in different colours are standing at white metal tables. You hear strange noises from the large cupboards at the wall. C Elegans steps forward in a white coat with curious spots on the sleeves.)
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to my SYM research laboratory.
Please do not mind the content of the test tubes, it?s only scientific material, though some of it might stir and scream occasionally.
At this lab, we are specialised in brain research, with a special interest devoted to personality disorders. We perform examinations of patients as well as healthy subjects. Should any pathology be found, we guarantee that all examinations will lead to diagnosis and adequate treatment. Among the many treatments we offer are conventional surgery, laser surgery, electroconvulsive therapy, pharmacotherapy and different forms of psychotherapy including shock therapy, regression therapy and exposure therapy.
Please look to the left. Here we have test procedures for assessment of personality, intelligence and behaviour. We can also measure perception and motor reflexes, for instance somatosensory responses to aversive stimuli.
You might want to ask what the straitjackets are for, but I can assure you these are only used for the best of the patient.
Let us move on to the right. Here we have all necessary equipment needed for careful physical examinations. You see here a MR and a CT camera for anatomical images of the brain, and a PET scanner for functional images.
Apart from this modern, high tech instruments, we also stress the importance of not forgetting historical medical knowledge and practise. A beautiful example of this, is the drills on the table. They are used for what in Swedish is called "trepanering", a well known method. The exact location and size of the holes drilled in the cranium will of course differ depending on the patients condition.
Did I hear a question about mortality? Well, you see, it?s always very difficult to say if death occurs as a result of treatment or a result of the original disease. Eh...some diseases actually leave drill hole-like holes in peoples crania.
Let us continue. Right in front of you is the treatment area. Here we have all sorts of psychotropic drugs that can alter the state of consciousness, change the behaviour and personality or even have a neurotoxic effect on populations of brain cells.
Oh, and do mind the scalpels, they were just used on a patient with a highly contagious and unusual form of encephalitis that normally only affect goats.
Now, dear fellow SYM:ers, I will present our first subject, or should I rather say case? Interestingly enough, this happens to be a well known SYM profile who is himself a medical doctor, namely the (in?)famous dr Waverly. (Please Waverly, step forward. Don't worry, I'm sure the audience will not notice your twitches and spasms.)
I will not go into a lengthy description of the case history, but in short state that the recent severe personality change, as well as the patient reporting "hearing voices" and having nightmares about being flamed, is more that enough to suggest the need for a brain assessment. For a thorough anamnesis, please read the threads "Waverly is..." and "What is happening to doc Waverly?"
(Please Waverly, just follow me and soon we will have all answers. Now, we start with you looking at this ink blot picture, and tell me what you see? Oh, I?m sorry, was that a nude photo of you? Please look at this other inkblot instead.)
While collecting data and waiting for the results, I believe that a description of the neurosurgery earlier performed by renowned surgeon Minerva, would help the process of diagnosis. Also, advice and maybe even use of equipment
from the famous scientist dr Grunt would be much appreciated, as well as suggestions from all of you who knew Waverly as the feared flamer and spammer he once was.
CE:s laboratory for brain disorder and degeneration
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