Cat jobs - Page 2

fable · #16 (**permalink**) 03-21-2004, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dragon wench
Damn cats... It could be worse though.. one of ours has that attitude towards using the litter box

Can't say we've ever encountered that problem. Though lately, he seems to have become an expert in developing large hairballs which are expectorated during the night and left for discovery in the sunny morn.

Mr Flibble · #17 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 12:21 AM

But cats do have jobs. They supervise us humans. Any time you're doing something around the house, especially the kitchen, there's a good bet your cat is there watching, making sure you do the job right. If you get it wrong, bye bye furniture! You just need to understand cat psychology.

And the real difference between cats and dogs?... dogs have owners, cats have staff.

Curdis · #18 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Weasel
I would be willing to let Hairball, Fishneck, Swirlly, Mutts or Curdis go to work at any of this places!.

You named a cat after me how sweet.

There is a Sci-Fi book I read about an alien first encounter and it was going badly because the human negotiators were too obsequious. It looked like everybody was going to get fried and then someone came up with the idea of sending the aliens to talk to the (space)ship's cat. Result - Aliens agree to all demands cannot believe how arrogant cat was. So the job of lord and master seems to be appropriate. Oh whoops they already have it!

Two quick cat tails.

I live on 70 acres. One of my cats refuses to go further from the house than the edge of the veranda. Result - I replenish the kitty litter every two days.

I bought a new set of front of house speakers $450.00 each. They are covered in black 'carpet'. Result - instant cat condo and scratching post. They look like they have been on the road longer than I have and they are only one year old.

Curdis !
God(s) help me I was only 19 to go. Apologise to your worst enemy. They will be confused for a very long time indeed.

Georgi · #19 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 08:33 AM

Train them to work in call centres. Sure, they couldn't really do anything but purr or miaow, but they would be as much help as most of the monkeys who man those phonelines.

No, I'm not just bitter because my ADSL has been cut off and despite numerous phone calls, it hasn't been reconnected...

Galuf the Dwarf · #20 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aegis
Yeah. That's probably where their current haughtyness came from. They were treated like royalty in Egypt I don't think they want to adjust to the times...

I'm all for Malta's idea

Well, that's somewhat like how the drow in the Forgotten Realms seem to worship spiders.

Curdis · #21 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 08:43 AM

Sorry about the ASDL Georgi (even though my current data transfer rate is 20 KBps). Reminds me of the purrfet job for a cat (pinched from the Dilbert top secret management guide).

Human Resources Director.

Even though your soul left your body when you became a manger there are still some jobs too dispicable for even you to do. That's why you need a human resources director.

The Cat is a perfect choice.

They are outwardly attractive and appear friendly but they actually don't care if you live or die and like to play with employees before downsizing them.

Curdis !

At eighteen I was legal Don't worry about paying the electricity bill

Moonbiter · #22 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 08:44 AM

We're nothing but can-openers to them, anyway. There are a lot of open jobs in cosmetic research, and the old threadmill-and-mustard trick should get rid of some of that flab, and cut down on the electrical bill.

Galuf the Dwarf · #23 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moonbiter
We're nothing but can-openers to them, anyway. There are a lot of open jobs in cosmetic research, and the old threadmill-and-mustard trick should get rid of some of that flab, and cut down on the electrical bill.

Funny. To my cat Barney, I'm the entire world to him without opening cans for him. Of course, this is because I pretty much "rescued" him from an animal shelter, and made him feel at home.

Moonbiter · #24 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 09:00 AM

That's cool. Over here we have a cat epidemic, which has become a major case for the Center For Disease Control.

Galuf the Dwarf · #25 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moonbiter
That's cool. Over here we have a cat epidemic, which has become a major case for the Center For Disease Control.

Question: Where is "here" for you (IOW, where do you live)?

Moonbiter · #26 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 09:15 AM

Oh, up on the reef in Ultima Thule.

Y'know... Here There Be Dragons and all that...

fable · #27 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moonbiter
That's cool. Over here we have a cat epidemic, which has become a major case for the Center For Disease Control.

Abandoned cats and dogs form a real problem in many urban ghettos, where they revert to feral type--dog packs in particular have been known to attack people.

Moonbiter · #28 (**permalink**) 03-22-2004, 10:46 AM

Yup. problem here is that they breed like rabbits, and then they either starve to death or develop some grotesque epidemic that wipes them out in their thousands. Then they transfer the diseases to children or other pets, and... Well, we have "dog-control" but nobody ever thought of "cat-control" and now we're paying for it.