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10-26-2001, 01:35 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 891
| |  Call Me Dr. Ruth of Amn
After leafing through the BG2 Game Manual, I've come up with a list of spells I certainly would/certainly would not recommend in preparation for a night of intimacy. I gotta say this topic gives some spells (ie. Hold Person) totally different meanings.
Blindness - if ever you find yourself with a less than comely partner
Charm Person - no explanation needed
Find Familiar - by this time you should know where your "familiar" is located
Grease - perfect for virgins!
Identify - "so… is that a +2 cat o' nine tails?"
Infravision - for people who enjoy seeing what's happening
Sleep - whatever for?
Deafness - cast upon young eavesdroppers
Invisibility - now that would be cool!
Luck - some need it to even get this far. "cough" Sleep "cough"
Mirror Image - Super-cool! Just remember to tell him/her which is the real one.
Strength - forget Viagra! Just cast this spell!
Haste - unless you're at work or in a public place, I'd advise against it (but see Non-detection below)
Monster Summoning - sicko!
Non-detection - perfect if you're at work or in a public place
Protection From Cold - anyone from Alaska?
Protection from Normal Weapons - "What the hell are you doing with my wife?!"
Slow - unquestionably THE best spell for the bedroom!
Wizard Eye - you can have your cake AND watch yourself eating it!
Domination - well, if you're into that sort of thing
Improved Haste - same as above, only you aren't fatigued afterwards.
Mislead - in case of emergencies, cast this spell
Tenser's Transformation - same as Strength, but duration is much longer
Simulacrum - no, no , no, no! Why enjoy pleasure vicariously?
Time Stop - Its short duration knocks it down to 2nd place after Slow
Earthquake - create unforgettable memories with this spell
Cure Diease - one can't be too careful!
Animate Dead - uh… I think I'll end here  |
10-26-2001, 01:46 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Athens,Greece
Posts: 283
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Quite!Now for a topic that will determine what all of us SYManiacs would love to use.That "familiar" is really hilarious,but I can think of a couple of guys that would definately find this spell veery useful.
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10-26-2001, 01:47 AM
|  | Banned | | Join Date: May 2001 Location: in A.D. 2101
Posts: 719
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ROFLMAO! 
call woodland beings - if 1 is not enough for you |
10-26-2001, 05:40 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: May 2001 Location: Australia
Posts: 741
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LOL
Abi-Dalzim's Horrid Wilting - Opposite of Strength.
Khelben's Warding Whip - Err... I'll stop there.
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10-26-2001, 10:59 AM
|  | Moderator and Twisted Sister | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
Posts: 17,866
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Quote:
Deafness - cast upon young eavesdroppers
| Just young ones? Or are you into spectator sports?  
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testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain. |
10-26-2001, 02:01 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: commuting between Morrowind and Neverwinter
Posts: 1,211
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"Lower Resistance" - um no need to go into detail on this one
Also I like the 9th level wish "all in area become intoxicated"
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10-26-2001, 06:17 PM
|  | Moderator and Board Bimbo | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The space within
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__________________ "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Action RPG discussion, Diablo II, Dungeon Siege and Space Siege |
10-26-2001, 07:52 PM
|  | Troublemaker | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Can't wait to get on the road again...
Posts: 11,287
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LMAO
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10-26-2001, 07:58 PM
| | Moderator and Twisted Sister | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
Posts: 17,866
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Let's not forget the cleric spell
"raise dead"
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testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain. |
10-27-2001, 06:28 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 891
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Okay, I gotta few more spells to add to the list, Clerical spells this time:
Remove fear - again, a perfect spell for virgins
Draw Upon Holy Might - if only this spell could be localized to one specific area of the body, it could topple Slow from its podium. I've never had to use it, mind you. 
Know Alignment - who cares?!
Protection from evil - who cares?!
Silence 15' Radius - scream, hoot, and howl your head off! No one will hear you. Also, orgasms can be faked a whole lot easier with this spell.
Hold Animal - sicko!
Zone of sweet air - if you forget to take a bath before sex
Free Action - make love underwater, or with your clothes on!
Negative Plane Protection - you never know...
Repulse Undead - at some point, women will find this spell necessary
Bolt of Glory - er, never mind...
False dawn - in case you wanna leave sooner rather than later
Physical mirror - cast upon the ceiling and you'll think you're in 'Vegas.
Shield of the Archons - THE ULTIMATE CONDOM!!
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Use Any Item - er... if you're into that sort of thing
[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: EMINEM ] |
10-27-2001, 06:35 PM
| | Moderator and Board Bimbo | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The space within
Posts: 9,787
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ROFLMAO
Those are great, MM
Free action - would be something for me 
False dawn - I can think of occations when this would have been useful...
__________________ "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Action RPG discussion, Diablo II, Dungeon Siege and Space Siege |
10-27-2001, 06:48 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 891
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You seem rather busy Elegans, so allow me to mail you some Teleport Without Error scrolls. Share them with your hubby, and during a certain time of the day (ie. your lunch break), transport yourselves back home and be back to work without anyone knowing you left! |
10-27-2001, 06:54 PM
| | Troublemaker | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Can't wait to get on the road again...
Posts: 11,287
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Quote:
Originally posted by EMINEM:
<STRONG>Hold Animal - sicko!</STRONG>
| I think they use duct tape instead...
After all, cleric spells need wisdom...
[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Georgi ]
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10-27-2001, 07:24 PM
| | Moderator and Board Bimbo | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The space within
Posts: 9,787
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Quote:
Originally posted by EMINEM:
<STRONG>You seem rather busy Elegans, so allow me to mail you some Teleport Without Error scrolls. Share them with your hubby, and during a certain time of the day (ie. your lunch break), transport yourselves back home and be back to work without anyone knowing you left!
</STRONG>
| Great Thank you
(Now let's hope MM doesn't fool me and send some scrolls of Entangle instead)
__________________ "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Action RPG discussion, Diablo II, Dungeon Siege and Space Siege |
10-27-2001, 07:26 PM
| | Troublemaker | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Can't wait to get on the road again...
Posts: 11,287
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