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03-29-2005, 03:18 AM
|  | Moderator | | Join Date: May 2004 Location: Out of Brynn's longbow range
Posts: 1,063
| | | Caenorhabditis Elegans' practice of mental welfare
It has come to my attention that most people at SYM, young and old alike, suffer from some serious psychic distortion. Because SYM is the place where all the world's most highly educated individuals gather to talk about today's and tomorrow's problems, we can not let this mental decay continue without endangering the future of Humanity itself! Therefore I have, with the cooperation of Her Enlightened Shrinkness, founded the...
Caenorhabditis Elegans' Practice of Mental Welfare
The following individuals have already signed up for treatment:
- Oozae, with his doubts concerning his veritable gender
- Magrus, with his excessive addiction to alcohol
- Brynn, with her depression following the loss of her devote followers to the MCOPCDAWD
- Ideal Maxima, with his early-life suidicide plans
- CM, with his doubts whether he should follow his Islamic beliefs or his perverted mind
- Luis Antionio, with his love for Brynn which has becomen a mind-devouring obsession
- Dragon Wench, with her compulsive habbit of opening boudoir threads for other members
- Gwalchmai, with his state of euphoric madness caused by DF-hugs
They are all rich enough to have an internet connection and a depression, so they have the money to buy a planeticket to... the snowy taiga of Sweden!
You arrive at Stockholm-Arlanda Airport...
And, to your surprise, this nice limousine is waiting for you.
The limousine is completely soundproof to cut you off from the tumult of nowaday's busy society. When the limo leaves Stockholm, you find yourself silently driving past a beautiful landscape of snowy pines and pitoresque houses. Some hours later, you arrive at a small village, seemingly cut off from the outher world. The limo drives a little further, and stops in front of a large wooden house. Inside, you are directed to your room by a friendly old lady. It's 4 o'clock already: time for the first session to begin! You walk to the third floor, under the roof, and you lie down on the cosy couch. CE enters, you have a little introduction chat, and then you start talking. Therapy has begun...
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"We are at a very serious moment dealing with very serious issues and we are not focusing on the name you give to potatoes" - Nathalie Loisau (God Bless the Freedom Fries!)
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03-29-2005, 03:59 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Location:
Posts: 2,658
| | So, mylady, where's the bar?  If you do not want, or like these types of posts in this thread, tell me and I'll come for a serious session. I'm messed up, I know.
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03-29-2005, 04:07 AM
|  | Moderator and Board Bimbo | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The space within
Posts: 9,799
| | My new private practise, what a nice place, you have done an excellent job, Moltovir. And a assume you fixed those "special treatment" cells in the cellar? With all the necessary "equipment"? Quote: |
Originally Posted by Sytze So, mylady, where's the bar? | Bah, there is no alcohol or other "entertainment" drugs served here, this is a place for treatment of disorder! The only drugs served here are the ones prescribed by me and I can assure they are not entertaining 
__________________ "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Action RPG discussion, Diablo II, Dungeon Siege and Space Siege |
03-29-2005, 04:47 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Location:
Posts: 2,658
| | | Very well then. My disorder is that I smile too much, even when I'm not that happy. This is regarded as quite strange in a few circumstances. Especially when I talk with women; I have the tendency to smile a lot, if not all the time. How can this be treated? Please help.
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"Sometimes Dreams are wiser than waking"
"One day I will leave this world and Dream myself to Reality"
"Dream your life, live that Dream" |
03-29-2005, 04:58 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: USA
Posts: 3,125
| | | My problem, I'm ashamed to admit, is that I have a reading disorder (although everyone knows I'm polemic). When I first read the title of this message thread, I thought it said "mental warfare", and I began to wonder about things like, "Is warfare the mind's only hygiene?" Please advise. |
03-29-2005, 05:23 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Zul'Gurub
Posts: 4,661
| | Wow! I love this house 
Thought I don't mind anybody joining the MCWHATEVERCULT, I'll try my best to act mental, so that I can stay a little longer - I love wooden houses surrounded with snow
What this straitjacket on CM?
Ahoy, Luh!
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Up the IRONS! |
03-29-2005, 05:27 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Cell Block E
Posts: 2,148
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Sytze Very well then. My disorder is that I smile too much, even when I'm not that happy. This is regarded as quite strange in a few circumstances. Especially when I talk with women; I have the tendency to smile a lot, if not all the time. How can this be treated? Please help. | Hmmmm.... That problem afflicts me as well. <- See!  (seriously though. I do smile too much.)
__________________ Mag: Don't remember much at all of last night do you? Me: put simply.... No
Mag: From what I put together of your late night drunken ramblings? Vodka, 3 girls, and then we played tic-tac-toe and slapped each other around.
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03-29-2005, 05:29 AM
| | Moderator and Board Bimbo | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The space within
Posts: 9,799
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Sytze Very well then. My disorder is that I smile too much, even when I'm not that happy. This is regarded as quite strange in a few circumstances. Especially when I talk with women; I have the tendency to smile a lot, if not all the time. How can this be treated? Please help. | Dear Sytze,
Clearly something serious is wrong with you and I would recommend you to do a thorough brain scan, but for the time being while waiting for the results, and since I don't think there is much hope for you anyway, you would have to learn to develop your coping skills. You should exercise your facial muscles in front of the mirror daily for at least 15 minutes, and reshape you smile to look happy and appreciating rather than gleeful, or even stupid. If you manage to make your smile look flirtatious and appreciative, you can use it to your advantage - especially when talking to women. Quote: |
Originally Posted by VonDondu When I first read the title of this message thread, I thought it said "mental warfare", and I began to wonder about things like, "Is warfare the mind's only hygiene?" Please advise. | Dear VonDondu,
I also read it as "mental warfare" instead of welfare at first. Thus, we can conclude that this is not a problem at all, it's only a sign of our brilliant and highly intelligent minds.
__________________ "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Action RPG discussion, Diablo II, Dungeon Siege and Space Siege |
03-29-2005, 05:35 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Zul'Gurub
Posts: 4,661
| | | Oh, are we supposed to talk about our problems? Okay.
Help me, doctor, I feel like sitting at home all week doing nothing. And I'm sitting at home all week doing nothing. Is that really a problem?
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03-29-2005, 05:41 AM
| | Moderator and Board Bimbo | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The space within
Posts: 9,799
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Brynn Oh, are we supposed to talk about our problems? | Nah, you don't really need to talk about your problems if you don't have any. You can also just hang around and point your finger at the suffering imbeciles and give out load nasty laughs at how miserable they are. I do recommend wearing a straitjacket and do some facial grimaces every now and then though, just to fit in better. Quote: |
Help me, doctor, I feel like sitting at home all week doing nothing. And I'm sitting at home all week doing nothing. Is that really a problem?
| A young pretty women as yourself should not be sitting at home all week doing nothing. My advice is you get some handsome boys to visit you and entertain you at least 3 times a week. If you have problems finding any, I can write you a prescription and you will get them from my treatment service.
__________________ "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Action RPG discussion, Diablo II, Dungeon Siege and Space Siege |
03-29-2005, 05:50 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Zul'Gurub
Posts: 4,661
| | Oh, my "doing nothing" plan actually included four nights with a boy (I've only one right now, do you think I need more?), an archery training and a trip to Vienna. Just to ease my boredom, you know Quote: |
Originally Posted by CE Nah, you don't really need to talk about your problems if you don't have any. You can also just hang around and point your finger at the suffering imbeciles and give out load nasty laughs at how miserable they are. | That's not a bad way to spend a day... Er.. I mean... Hehe, Cimmy, you look cool in white! Kakukk!
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03-29-2005, 05:52 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Cell Block E
Posts: 2,148
| | Quote: |
get some handsome boys to visit you and entertain you
| Piiiick meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
__________________ Mag: Don't remember much at all of last night do you? Me: put simply.... No
Mag: From what I put together of your late night drunken ramblings? Vodka, 3 girls, and then we played tic-tac-toe and slapped each other around.
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03-29-2005, 05:56 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Zul'Gurub
Posts: 4,661
| | No, you're too young. Kakukk
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03-29-2005, 06:39 AM
| | Moderator and Board Bimbo | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The space within
Posts: 9,799
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Brynn Oh, my "doing nothing" plan actually included four nights with a boy (I've only one right now, do you think I need more?), an archery training and a trip to Vienna. Just to ease my boredom, you know | You may need more than one, depending on the stamina of that one. I would say most healthy young women need at least 2, optimally three. If not for their lack of endurance, at least for variation. Quote: |
Originally Posted by Giles Piiiick meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! | According to Swedish law you are not to young since age of consent is 15 here. However, this is a serious clinic, so you can't just jump in and start amateurish treatment. You must apply to our training program, and if you get accepted, you will first have to take the required courses and pass the exams, before you come in question as staff in our Treatment Service. Staff that are sent home to patients must also complete the "mobile training" course in addition to the basic training.
__________________ "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Action RPG discussion, Diablo II, Dungeon Siege and Space Siege |
03-29-2005, 06:42 AM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NY
Posts: 16,956
| | *chuckles* You think my mental problem is excessive drinking? Oh thats cute. If someone could truly solve the riddles of whats wrong with me, I'd gladly serve and obey them for their troubles.
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