Blessed Be Your Toy

[Lady Dragonfly]

“I believe as a churchgoing person, anyone can benefit from hearing the words of the Bible,” said Michael La Roe, director of business development for Valencia-based Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co. and its one2believe division, which makes the line of Bible character dolls.

Indeed. With Christmas fast approaching you can shop on-line (My Blessed Toys.com) for the Bible-quoting dolls. Each doll recites scripture from the NIV translation.

For just $20 you may have a bearded talking Jesus with “fingers that can grasp and hold” to keep your company this Holiday season. Both "fully articulated with multi-directional waist" Virgin Mary and Esther can be yours for 20 bucks each. Unless you prefer Moses (same $20) or David (you guess right -- for $20). And rest assured, both can grasp and hold just fine.
Your loved ones would appreciate your thoughtful gift of Faith as well.

MESSENGERS OF FAITH

JESUS (Umm… product description?)

"Jesus was the most important person in history. Ever.

He was born in a manger, raised as a carpenter, and crucified on a cross. He healed the sick. He raised the dead. He fed five
thousand men with two fish and five loaves of bread.

He was a revolutionary preacher and an extraordinary teacher who shook up the religious authority of that time.

Jesus, the Son of God, came to earth in the form of a man. When He died, He defeated death. He defeated sin. Belief in Him brings eternal life. There has never been nor will there ever be anyone like Jesus!"

Product Features:

• 12" tall
• Fully articulated, with 18 points of articulation including hands and fingers that can grasp and hold
• Realistic eyes
• Hand-sewn cloth outfits and sandals
• 63 seconds of Scripture, recorded in an easy-to-memorize style. Includes:

Click on a verse to hear the actual sound (in mp3 format).

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but
have eternal life.
Mark 12:30 - Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your
strength.
Mark 12:31 - Love your neighbor as yourself.
John 15:5 - I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me
you can do nothing.
John 20:29 - Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.
John 3:3 - I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.

$20.00

link deleted for now - Maharlika

[fable]

But can he turn water into wine? More to the point, if you start him up, will he turn himself off as an affront to his stated beliefs?

[Lady Dragonfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fable But can he turn water into wine? More to the point, if you start him up, will he turn himself off as an affront to his stated beliefs?

He may be able to turn water into Jesus Juice if you press him gently.

link removed - Maharlika

Add to your Christmas shopping list this lovely P31 (no, it is not KOTOR's robot):

"Our exclusive collection of high-quality dolls, based on Proverbs 31. P31 dolls were specifically designed to provide a Bible-based, Christian alternative to other secular toys on the market, and to encourage young girls to pursue biblical womanhood.

We currently have three different P31 dolls to choose from: Abigail, Elisabeth and Leah. Standing 19.5 inches tall, each doll has beautiful glass eyes, long rooted-hair, a contemporary outfit, and a great P31 box. Each doll also comes with an accessory kit, containing a Bible lesson (Proverbs 31:20), two cookie-cutters, a cookie recipe, and a list of exciting activities. This will provide tons of fun for any young girl!"

[dragon wench]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fable But can he turn water into wine? More to the point, if you start him up, will he turn himself off as an affront to his stated beliefs?

Hey, if the doll could actually do that, I might even be tempted to buy one


I suppose it had to happen... I mean they already have dolls that "cry" and "require diaper changes." This just seems to be the next logical step in the evolution


I can just see it now:
"Buy now and we'll also give you this beautiful manger. For just $20 dollars extra we'll also include this hand carved cross... Just look at the beautiful detailing! Order now, our operators are waiting to receive your call."

[Tricky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Dragonfly He healed the sick. He raised the dead.

Was Jesus a Cleric or a multiclass Necromancer?

[Magrus]

Oooh! Wonderful. Now I have a way to be able to tell my family I found Jesus. Which can be followed with, "he was only 19.99 at Wal-mart!" or, "Yeah, I nailed him to my wall, it's holier than a painting, eh?"

[Tricky]

I broke Jesus!

[Faberge]

It really looks like early 90’s version of Barbie. That product info I mean. Real clothes and moving body parts, only thing it is lacking is different professions and a house with a bathtub! And it sure is nice to see dolls with right head and body proportions, not to mention the realistic eyes.
But above all else the reason why I might buy this doll is this:
• 63 seconds of Scripture, recorded in an easy-to-memorize style. Includes... ...(in mp3 format).

Well I am not saying this for any religious reasons. It is just that there is that “mp3” format, so it could be possible to change those records of scripture into something more easier to listen to. How about, ACDC’s Highway to Hell? For some reason I just like the idea of having little Jesus Figure singing;” I am on a Highway to Hell, Highway to Hell... and I am going down... all the way. On the Highway to Hell”

[dragon wench]

I have to confess...
When I first saw the title of this thread last night (hey, my excuse is that I was sleepy )... my mind went directly south.. and I interpreted it in a rather different way than what was intended...

[Magrus]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragon wench I have to confess... When I first saw the title of this thread last night (hey, my excuse is that I was sleepy )... my mind went directly south.. and I interpreted it in a rather different way than what was intended...

You aren't the only one. My first reaction was "The "Lady" isn't being very lady-like tonight".

[Faberge]

Since two have already confessed... I guess I’ll do too.

When I saw the topic, it was on rainy morning, I didn’t exactly think of anything dirty. I just presumed that it was another topic started by Dragon Wench. Let us just say that the topic about “games breaking your virginity” is still haunting and daunting. The topic title was certainly quite something, lot better than “your first game” I have to agree. I guess it is good for you to drop from your chair once here and there, at least it teaches you to not to swing with your chair.

[Maharlika]

In my opinion, this is an advert. Under forum rules this is not acceptable. Unless the threadstarter can justify the continued existence of this thread, I'm closing this for now.

[Maharlika]

After consulting with the other mods, I have decided to open this thread.

Ladies and gentlemen, back to regular programming.

[Lady Dragonfly]

Since we are back in toy business after a short interruption, and Fable officially declared the treasure hunt season open during "what's hilariously referred to as the holidays", I would like to abuse an opportunity to point out once again that there is no more unique gift than a fully articulated, talking 63 seconds in mp3 format Jesus. Ever.

For more orthodox members of this forum there is a quality doll Moses with 82seconds of Scripture, also recorded in an easy-to-memorize style. Features Exodus 20:3-17 (Ten Commandments).
Though Moses has a walking staff accessory and beats Jesus with his extra 19 seconds (though not with his staff) I would still nominate Jesus Number One Super Star.

(There are more idols on sale. Check out $20 Virgin Mary.)

Number Two on my shopping list is lovely P31, a "Christian alternative to secular toys" that conveniently comes with a Bible lesson and two cookie cutters (read about this exciting product in one of my earlier posts).
If you are a girl (by birth or choice) who consider the "pursuit of biblical womanhood" to be a source of "tons of fun", this glass-eyed P31 in a "great P31 box" is for you, no questions asked.

To those of you, honored shopping guests, who confessed to a crime of having impure thoughts while reading my topic, I say:

You guys are perverts, that is why I love you.

[Magrus]

You know, depending on what Moses says, I could have all sorts of fun with that doll. I distinctly remember being tossed out of somewhere, I was too drunk to remember where, but hard to forget being tossed out bodily, for my "Part the red sea with my staff like moses" crack one night.

If you could reprogram the mp3 files in the dolls to whatever you want, well, I may be buying some for kicks. Wearing a Jesus doll on a gold chain around my neck and having it say "My dad can beat up your dad" would be just so fun on Easter.