101 Reasons to Remain Sober (spam on topic only)

[Fiona]

Duh, sorry Ravager. Which side of this argument are you on ?

[dragon wench]

ROFL @ BS

And for the record, I was out with my partner getting groceries. Spam is all well and good, but it can't replace real nutrition

51. You don't have to wake up in the morning wondering what's caught between your teeth...

[Ravager]

But spam is a refreshing substitute for food...or that's what I was told anyway.

52. You forget what the pills are and what they're for.

[Phreddie]

53. You will remembe rnot only your name and adress, but the name and adress of the person (different sex unlessyou swing that way) lying next to you in bed.

[dragon wench]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phreddie 53. You will remembe rnot only your name and adress, but the name and adress of the person (different sex unlessyou swing that way) lying next to you in bed.

You don't have to be drunk to not know the name and address of the person you end up next to in bed
Nopersonal experience here, of course.


54. Assuming you are female, less probability of checking the calender and realising it was the WRONG time of the month

[Phreddie]

54b. Assuming your male, feeling that lump in your unde wear and wondering what the hell your doing with a tampon.

[dragon wench]

Phreddie,
sorry, I should have been more specific, that's not what I meant. I was referring to the time of the month where fertilisation is most likely to occur.

[Athena]

55. To make sure someone's being responsible for all those drunk idiots!

[Ravager]

56. To read through the previous reasons and decide to become teetotal.

[Athena]

104 reasons to remain drunk
1.because Mag is here
umm... need there be 103 more?

[dj_venom]

57. Not to wind up on SYM thinking it is a useful part of society
58. To keep down those indecent exposures complaints
59. To stop yourself using the mailbox as a toilet
60. To stop yourself using the toilet as a mailbox

[Chimaera182]

61. You won't mistake the hall closet for the toilet.
62. You won't suddenly attack your friend for no reason whatsoever... um, that didn't happen to me.
63. You won't viciously attack your friend's girlfriend with your tongue... er, also didn't happen to me... what, why are you looking at me like that? Oh, look, it's someone else! (runs)

[Phreddie]

64. wont think bartender is girlfriend, especialy when man
65. wont write drunken love ballads about said bartender
66. wont stand outside said bartenders apartment building singing said drunken lov ballads to said bartender.

[Chimaera182]

67. Won't wake up with a black eye when said bartender comes down to kick your sorry drunken behind.
68. Won't wake up with a splitting migraine that feels like someone inserted a baseball into your skull (the last time I got drunk, I had that... boy that was pleasant, especially since I was high that night, too, and most of the following day).
69. Won't wake up engaged/married to someone completely hideous.
70a. Won't stare at a girl who looks like Roseanne Barr as she morphs magically before your eyes--and with generous application of booze--into Britney Spears.
70b. Won't stare at a guy who looks like Jon Lovitz as he morphs magically before your eyes--and with generous application of booze--into Ricky Martin.
71. Won't wake up with an STD.
72. Won't have to look at this list of reasons not to get drunk and count which ones you went through the previous night.

[Phreddie]

73. wont wake up with that mime from the street corner last night
74. no more free nights at the county jail
75. you can finally remember where you put your keys
76. you can finally get a house and a car so as to have keys now that all money isnt spent on booze
77. can finally remember your obscure family members names.
78. you go to work and get paid instead of calling in sick and getting fired.