| | 100 Ways to Drive Men Wild
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10-03-2003, 04:53 PM
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I happened to notice on the Gone Gold website that one of the major contributors was grousing over women's magazines. He seemed especially incensed at that endless genre whose contents can be neatly summarized as "100 Ways to Drive Men Wild (with pleasure)." He averred that 3, perhaps 5 ways are all that exist, and they're enough.
Now, I beg to disagree. We're not so simplistic, despite people like my brother-in-law. So I decided to create this thread, and allow folks to prove that, yes, men indeed can be driven wild with delight in 100 different ways, or even more...! It's all so exciting, that perhaps I'll include listing these ways as part of the one hundred.
So without further ado... 1) Have him put on a pair of shorts in the morning, only to discover that his favorite supermodel is already wearing them. After he's slipped them on.
Your suggestions...? Remember, this is about showing all the complex ways in which men can be wildly pleased. 
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Last edited by fable; 10-03-2003 at 05:45 PM.
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10-03-2003, 05:07 PM
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2. Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them well.)
3. Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.
4. Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of its favorite treats
5. Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.
6. Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.
7. "Accidentally" fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel.
8. Repeatedly misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a different room each time.
9. Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in restaurants around town.
10. Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant girlfriend who "needs it more than he does."
11. Insist upon a lot of "meaningful conversations."
12. If you live together, have your mother fly in for a month-long visit unannounced.
13. Reverse his contact lenses in their case.
14. Snip a small hole in his fishing waders, then follow him with a camera to capture his "sinking" on film.
15. Super glue the pages of his Little Black Book together.
16. Give the secret stash of dirty magazines that he thinks you don't know about to his younger brother, who he hates.
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10-03-2003, 05:22 PM
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ROFL!!! 
16. If he spends more time shopping than you (the woman) do, tease him relentlessly. And if he has a significant shoe collection call him "Amelda"
17. If you are blondish and he is dark, remark on how dark hair really makes the grey show up much more 
These irritate my partner to no end...
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testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.
Last edited by dragon wench; 10-03-2003 at 05:24 PM.
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10-03-2003, 05:26 PM
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| | LOL..Somehow I dont think this thread has taken the direction fable was hoping for
Hmmm..How about ..
18. Season's tickets to all nude female fantasy football with complimentary pass to the Beer stand
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Scayde Moody
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The virtue of self sacrifice is the lie perpetuated by the weak to enslave the strong | | |
10-03-2003, 05:36 PM
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Um, guys...this is about driving him wild, meaning, making his thrilled. Not driving him out of his mind with annoyance. I've adjusted my first post to be clearer about that. Please, let's not make this yet another "dump on males/females" again.  
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Last edited by fable; 10-03-2003 at 05:41 PM.
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10-03-2003, 05:41 PM
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| |  Quote: Originally posted by dragon wench
16. If he spends more time shopping than you (the woman) do, tease him relentlessly. And if he has a significant shoe collection call him "Amelda" | ROFL, I constantly tease my hubby for his shopping sprees
19. When the man makes suggestions about changing your home, like repainting or buy new furniture, call him "housewife" and tell him he should spend his efforts on more important things.
Very popular, I have noticed
20. When the man complains about you never doing any housework, never taking out the garbage, never wash the dishes etc, softly say: "honeybun, this is my only day off in 3 weeks, how do you prefer we spend our precious time together: hit the sack and then go for a nice dinner, or do some bloody vacuum cleaning?"
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10-03-2003, 05:43 PM
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Please? I'd rather not close this down, but I'm really down on those threads that attack one sex or the other.
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To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe. | | |
10-03-2003, 05:43 PM
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__________________ "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Diablo I & II and Dungeon Siege forums | | |
10-03-2003, 05:50 PM
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lol! sorry Fable
Okay....
22. Tie him gently with silk hankerchiefs to a chair, apply chocolate body paint and then slowly and sensually proceed to lick it off. ...Untie him when you feel it is most appropriate ....
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testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.
Last edited by dragon wench; 10-03-2003 at 05:53 PM.
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10-03-2003, 06:03 PM
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Odd, how we're all thinking along sexual lines. I think the original writer of the piece felt that men could be pleased with 1) new gear, and 2) naked girls. That's all he thought we cared about.
With that in mind:
23) Take him to an art exhibit, give him a glass of his favorite wine, and then pull him into an unused storage room to apply deep kiss therapy.
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10-03-2003, 06:07 PM
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Only kidding Fable, you know I feel the same as you about gender stereotyping...and that I have always found differences between individuals to be larger than differences between the sexes at group level. 24. When you have to attend to a boring formal dinner, constantly whisper is his ear everything you want to do with him when you come home.
EDIT: @Fable: It's nice to see the SYM population puts appropriate focus on sexual activity
__________________ "There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Diablo I & II and Dungeon Siege forums
Last edited by C Elegans; 10-03-2003 at 06:10 PM.
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10-03-2003, 06:11 PM
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10-03-2003, 06:17 PM
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testingtest12Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
testingtest12.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain. | | |
10-03-2003, 06:19 PM
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| | Gee fable, I'm crushed. Didn't you like my suggestion ?
26. Mow the grass, take out the trash, get the oil changed in both cars, Take a fragrant bubble bath, dress in skimpy PJs and fix his favorite meal.
27. LOL..reassure him he is NOT in the wrong house.
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Scayde Moody
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The virtue of self sacrifice is the lie perpetuated by the weak to enslave the strong | | |
10-03-2003, 06:21 PM
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| | Quote: Originally posted by dragon wench
lol! does the SYM population ever do anything else?
25. Dim the lights, put some very exotic... almost sinuous music on the stereo... dance for him... very slowly removing garments. Dance just close enough so that he sees you, but just far away enough so that he can't touch | Giggle...Tried and true
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Scayde Moody
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