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02-19-2002, 03:41 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: USA
Posts: 1,334
| | 30 pages? I've never gotten a real second opinion of the story, aside from the participants. My own parents are too 'busy' to sit down and give it a shot  Could you provide some criticism? What about it do you think is particulary good? What do think needs some improvement?
I apologize ahead of time if I'm imposing. It's just frustrating sometimes to have so little feedback 
__________________ Lost Souls: A bereft lover. A masterless familiar. Friends gone their separate ways. Time marches on, and destiny heralds the meeting of comrades old and new. Can they find what they're seeking? Or will the search bring them only more pain? |
02-19-2002, 07:50 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Soviet Canuckistan
Posts: 13,431
| | Quote: Originally posted by Magus
30 pages? I've never gotten a real second opinion of the story, aside from the participants. My own parents are too 'busy' to sit down and give it a shot Could you provide some criticism? What about it do you think is particulary good? What do think needs some improvement?
I apologize ahead of time if I'm imposing. It's just frustrating sometimes to have so little feedback | You know, Magus, your not the only putting into the story. What about my editting, and contributions, and Rail's, and Xandax', Fas's and everyone else contributions.  |
02-20-2002, 12:14 AM
|  | Paladin of Torm | | Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Reading, England
Posts: 5,091
| | Quote: Originally posted by Magus
30 pages? I've never gotten a real second opinion of the story, aside from the participants. My own parents are too 'busy' to sit down and give it a shot Could you provide some criticism? What about it do you think is particulary good? What do think needs some improvement?
I apologize ahead of time if I'm imposing. It's just frustrating sometimes to have so little feedback | I have read all of it including Athkatla one...
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Perverteer Paladin
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02-20-2002, 05:03 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: USA
Posts: 1,334
| | Quote: Originally posted by Aegis
You know, Magus, your not the only putting into the story. What about my editting, and contributions, and Rail's, and Xandax', Fas's and everyone else contributions. | Whoa...where did I imply otherwise?  I'm not just referring to the parts I wrote, but the story as a whole. We can all improve our writing with a little constructive criticism
__________________ Lost Souls: A bereft lover. A masterless familiar. Friends gone their separate ways. Time marches on, and destiny heralds the meeting of comrades old and new. Can they find what they're seeking? Or will the search bring them only more pain?
Last edited by Magus; 02-20-2002 at 04:00 PM.
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02-20-2002, 03:15 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Soviet Canuckistan
Posts: 13,431
| | Nah, I'm just twisting ya Magus. |
02-20-2002, 03:30 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Anchorage, Alaska, USA
Posts: 1,104
| | Quote: Originally posted by Aegis
Nah, I'm just twisting ya Magus. | Hmmmmmmm... 
And I called Magus evil?!? Go figure! 
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Matti Il-Amin, Paladin, comedian, and expert adventurer. Proudly bearing the colors of the Blades of the Banshee |
02-20-2002, 03:52 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: USA
Posts: 1,334
| | Quote: Originally posted by Nippy
I have read all of it including Athkatla one... | Wow...that's a lot of reading Care to share your thoughts? Quote: Originally posted by Aegis
Nah, I'm just twisting ya Magus. | As for you...
__________________ Lost Souls: A bereft lover. A masterless familiar. Friends gone their separate ways. Time marches on, and destiny heralds the meeting of comrades old and new. Can they find what they're seeking? Or will the search bring them only more pain?
Last edited by Magus; 02-20-2002 at 04:04 PM.
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02-20-2002, 04:15 PM
|  | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: England
Posts: 4,927
| | | I wonder if someone if some one could tell me where Athkatla 1 came from i mean whats the begining?
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I'm Devious
This is my Gift. This is my Curse. Who am I? I'm SpiderCraig |
02-20-2002, 04:29 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: USA
Posts: 1,334
| | | You mean Roleplaying in Athkatla? What do you mean, "where did it come from"? (confused)
__________________ Lost Souls: A bereft lover. A masterless familiar. Friends gone their separate ways. Time marches on, and destiny heralds the meeting of comrades old and new. Can they find what they're seeking? Or will the search bring them only more pain? |
02-20-2002, 07:09 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Soviet Canuckistan
Posts: 13,431
| | | Well, before Magus, Rail and I got a hold of the reigns, it was the twisted image of Ubik, Omar, Wankerly, and Weasel. |
02-21-2002, 03:26 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: USA
Posts: 1,334
| | It was a 'unique' experience, to say the least Though certainly not suitable for anyone below the age of 35...
__________________ Lost Souls: A bereft lover. A masterless familiar. Friends gone their separate ways. Time marches on, and destiny heralds the meeting of comrades old and new. Can they find what they're seeking? Or will the search bring them only more pain? |
02-22-2002, 06:33 AM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: England
Posts: 4,927
| | | Didn't it start when Weasel stole Aerie?Is their a complete version?
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I'm Devious
This is my Gift. This is my Curse. Who am I? I'm SpiderCraig |
02-22-2002, 07:19 AM
| | Paladin of Torm | | Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Reading, England
Posts: 5,091
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Perverteer Paladin
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02-22-2002, 02:48 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: USA
Posts: 1,334
| | @craig: Ha, ha, I found it! Now I know what you’re talking about. There was actually a short thread called the Planar Sphere Problem that spawned Roleplaying in Athkatla. Wow, it really brings back the memories. Here it is: http://www.gamebanshee.com/forums/sh...0&pagenumber=1
Ah...the good old days of fun and nonsense...
@Nippy: Thanks. Hey wait a minute... (pages frantically through a stack of legal papers) Doh!
What do you think is lacking in the stories (especially Athkatla II) that could use some improvement?
@participants of Athkatla II: I just thought of this, so I’ll go ahead and fire away. Our story is unique in that it was first and foremost a roleplay. As a DM, what do you think I did well, and what do you think I need to work on? What could I have done differently? I’m curious of course, but a little evaluation could benefit Aegis as well, since he’ll be the next DM. The next story will be all the better if he can avoid my faults And it will help me if I happen to DM another such story in the future
Here’s some faults I’ll openly admit:
1) I often neglected to plan ahead, to even have a general idea of what would happen next. This resulted in a few pointless incidents, and a lot fighting just for the sake of fighting.
2) In an effort to correct the above problem, I overplanned the ending, and ended up being way too inflexible.
3) I was gone far too much, sometimes for several days at a time.
__________________ Lost Souls: A bereft lover. A masterless familiar. Friends gone their separate ways. Time marches on, and destiny heralds the meeting of comrades old and new. Can they find what they're seeking? Or will the search bring them only more pain? |
02-22-2002, 03:15 PM
| | Exalted Member | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Soviet Canuckistan
Posts: 13,431
| | Faults? What faults?
Hmm.. Let's see... I think you pretty muched pegged what your faults were. | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes | Rate This Thread |  Linear Mode | | 
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