| just a note
at that age, banging heads against walls and slapping himself is not normal behavior for a 2 year old. at that age, most things you taught him wont survace yet, so i'm afraid that i would think it to be a mental disorder. It sounds a lot like autism (or however you spell it)
on your ex's mother, i dont know, is there a law saying you have to visit or she has to visit you? ("so your daughter in law doesnt like you and doesnt want you to visit... and what do you think we should do about that?" , i can see that going to court) if she isnt a legal guardian, she's got no legal position usualy. if you have a troubled past, you'll usualy have a councilor, who'll defend you too.
it's not my place, and not nice, but seeing your post... if you use drugs (and alcohol is a drug) during pregnancy, that's very likely to cause damage to an unborn child
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