[Chanak]

Different children...different stages of development...both call for different disciplinary methods. The method you use in spanking (and your reasoning and practice of it) is critical and decides whether I find it appropriate or not. In my own experience, I found spanking most effective with post-infant to pre-teen children. Older children will invariably resent any attempts at physical punishment, and in the case of infants, it is wasted and in my opinion not very healthy for the child. Also, in my opinion spanking should *never* be done while you are angry or emotionally upset (either at the child, or about anything else). Screaming and yelling...or even worse, calling a child derogatory names...is terrible and shouldn't happen, period. I have witnessed that sort of thing all too often.

A child should never be disciplined in any fashion just to make the parent "feel better." By the same token, I think we shouldn't refrain from disciplining a child because we would feel terrible about it. That's a huge problem with parents, especially here in the U.S. If discipline is used for a child's benefit then it becomes part of our role as parents...providing the children in our charge with food, shelter, love, acceptance, and education and guidance to become the person they want to be when they mature into adulthood.

So in a nutshell...some children might indeed require corporal punishment in order for the undesirability of their actions/behaviors to be successfully communicated to them (that is the reason behind why I would spank a child...and the only one). Other children might not ever need such a thing. I think as adults and parents we should make the effort to understand what each of our children needs and give them the very best that we can.