[Lady Dragonfly]

Sonny’s Tale
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Class: Pirate

Malarkey was one of those tiny fishing villages along the Sword Coast where fishing was a mere façade covering the profitable smuggling business.
Most of the local fishermen were bedraggled sailors washed ashore after vicious storms had claimed their ships, and retired pirates dropped anchor at Malarkey after losing a limb or two during their timber-shivering adventures at high seas.

The dusty village square was dominated by a large wooden building emblazoned with the tin signs “Ned’s General Store and Warehouse”, “Ned’s Bank”, and “Ned’s Scurvy Salamander” on each respective weather-beaten wall, allowing no leeway for doubt who the Sovereign and the Great Pontiff of Malarkey was.

The life and money were steadily revolving around Ned’s Emporium, starting in the Store where business, both legal and illegal, was conducted and goods were delivered and fenced, proceeding at the midpoint to the Bank where transactions were made and documents forged, and ending at the Scurvy Salamander’s gambling table where the ill-earned gold was impetuously spent on booze and rolling dice, to complete the circle and return to old Ned’s coffers.

While Ned was the Supreme Ruler of Malarkey, glamorous Miss Tally, Ned’s only daughter and heiress, was its acclaimed Goddess, coveted by every salty sea dog who had a smidgen of financial sense and at least one eye not covered with a patch.

Every time Miss Tally was spotted in the window, combing her golden tresses gleaming in the morning sun almost as brightly as her father’s doubloons and piastres, the boisterous coterie of suitors adorned with monkeys and parrots perched on their shoulders and with assorted wooden peglegs loudly clattering on the cobblestones, immediately began to assemble in the narrow street below. The squabbles and duels ensued, providing entertainment for all concerned parties as well as steady income to the local coffin-maker.

Sonny was sailing the perilous waters of the Sea of Swords with the pirates for five long years before Medusa was sunk by a Waterdeep’s coastal patrol ship just outside the Malarkey Cove. Sonny and three other survivors, wounded and exhausted, swam ashore clinging to a broken plank. After a short period of recuperation Sonny’s crewmates decided to travel up North, hoping to join a more victorious buccaneer crew. Sonny chose to stay in Malarkey.

Parrotless and pegless, but undaunted by the disadvantage, the young pirate fervently joined the ranks of the lovey-dovey gang, trying to figure out how to conquer the heart and the purse of the beautiful heiress.

One day Malarkey woke up to observe a large gaudy sign above the entrance into Sonny’s modest domicile saying, “Le Coiffeur, en route from Silverymoon to Waterdeep”. A smaller sign in the window announced, “10 pieces-of-eight Hairdo and Foot Massage. Blondes -- 75% off”. A note below added, “No loitering, soliciting, or delicing, just pike off, ye lubberly scalawags”.

In a little while, an agitated eyewitness reported that Miss Tally was seen entering the barbershop, unchaperoned. Upon receiving this disturbing intelligence, the incensed pirates formed the Anti-Sonny Coalition with the headquarters at the Scurvy Salamander. Three kegs of grog later, the ringleaders issued a proclamation condemning the Piracy Law violation and the discriminatory 75% discount.

Meanwhile, Sonny, blithely ignoring these portents and thoroughly enjoying his new role, put up a new advertisement, “Love Horoscopes and Complementary Trigger Point Massage, as gazed in the Crystal Ball”.
No sooner had Sonny nailed the new plaque to the wall than the emissary from the Scurvy Salamander somberly knocked at the beauty parlor door and furnished the Masseuse with a Black Mark. Sonny decided it was time to kiss Malarkey good-bye and decamp.
Chased by the monkeys, Sonny ran away, vowing revenge.

You are going to meet Sonny during your travels in Baldur Gate III, camping on the beach.
He will join your landlubber party if you help him settle the score with the monkeys.