Bubakar’s Tale
Gender: Male
Race: Half-Orc
Class: Philosopher
Nothing predisposes to the philosophical contemplation more than grave-digging.
From time to time, strenuously laboring Bubakar, Backwater graveyard attendant, would put his shovel aside and sit down to reflect upon a mixture of odd ideas crossing his mind and to consider the cause and consequence, although, to the casual observer, his pensive stance could perhaps give a false impression of just another lazy Half-Orc squatting in a drunken stupor on the crumbling edge of the ditch.
Every evening the townsfolk merrily congregated in the dimly lit common room of the town’s finest tavern, The Honest Ape, to drink dark frothy ale and leisurely discuss taxes and weather by the fireside.
Sometimes the pleasant conversation was joined by such prominent citizens of Backwater as Doodlegoon, the purple-robed priest of Shaundakul whose temple graced the marketplace, and the cleric’s friend and fierce opponent Sir Hogbert Cadasse, a lawyer and the author of treatise “Law Bent Over”. Both gentlemen regularly started a heated dispute; the former relentlessly invoking the name of his Deity and the latter interspersing his speech with obscure terminology and pounding the humbled audience with phrases “As a Law scholar…” and “In my scientific opinion…”.
The ale-drinking folks usually hastened to withdraw whenever they caught sight of Cadasse and Doodlegoon walking into the tavern. A few patrons courageously holding their positions at the central table were either fawning sycophants or too drunk to care. Bubakar, however, was willingly submitting himself to abuse: he always endured the protracted debates between the cleric and the scholar with unwavering concentration.
Soon the old priest took notice of Bubakar’s zeal and cordially invited him into the Temple as a novice. Bubakar learned a great deal in the Temple of Shaundakul. Benevolent Doodlegoon even taught him a few spells, including minor healing and summoning.
One day Bubakar summoned a dire weasel, hoping to train his new pet to fetch a newspaper. Unfortunately, the summoned monster had a mind of its own: it immediately wrought havoc in the novices' quarters. The weasel war dance was halted by extremely displeased Doodlegoon who banned the summoned creature back to its plane of existence, and the summoner to detention, to ponder over cause and consequence a little bit more.
After two days of solitary meditation, Bubakar acknowledged that the idea of training a weasel to fetch stuff was a logical fallacy. After five days, he admitted that the cramped novices’ quarters were decidedly a poor choice for the summoning chamber. By the time he was finally set free, Bubakar came to the conclusion that golems were vastly superior to weasels and hence better suited to the task, and The Honest Ape would be the ideal place to summon one. Of course, Bubakar was unable to cast such a powerful spell himself, but he knew where Doodlegoon kept his scrolls and other magical items.
Putting on newly procured Boots of Speed and Cloak of Elvenkind, and with Summon Golem scroll in his pocket, Bubakar hurried towards the tavern. When he arrived, the thundering clash of the Titans was already under way, so nobody paid the Half-Orc the slightest attention.
Unhindered, Bubakar read his scroll, and the air in front of him slowly condensed into the towering Bronze Golem. Full of anticipation, Bubakar commanded his pet to fetch him a beer and a newspaper. The Golem hesitated for a brief moment, surveying the common room and vociferously arguing and gesticulating Cadasse before lifting its bronze fist and punching the eloquent lawyer right in between his bespectacled eyes, and thus violently interrupting the most brilliant speech ever delivered under The Honest Ape’s roof.
Sir Hogbert collapsed, speechless for the first time in his life, while the Golem scooped the fallen orator’s tankard and offered the foamy contents to the alarmed Half-Orc. Determined not to wait for the newspaper, Bubakar sprinted for the door. He heard Doodlegoon casting a spell but did not even pause to watch the effect.
He was running for many hours, anxious to put as many miles between himself and Doodlegoon’s wrath as possible.
In Baldur Gate III, you are going to meet the weary and hungry philosopher meditating in a cave after his hasty and somewhat undignified departure from Backwater.
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