I figured it out (I believe). I did not have enough influence with Handmaden to have her trust my judgement with Visas. I went through the initial training session with Handmaiden and learned her power (add your wisdom bonus to AC) BEFORE I spoke with Visas and then went through the long conversation with Visas where she teaches you force sight, and now Handmaiden doesn't yell at me any more. (My first lovers quarrel
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