[Arrylium]

"Here is my question. Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite... would you like a toasted teacake?"
-Talkie Toaster, Red Dwarf.



" 'When I booked this room, I was told it had a view.'
'It does, madam - right out that window.'
'You call that a view?'
'What were you expecting to see out of a hotel window in Torquay? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon?!?! Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plain?!?!?'
'Of course not. I wanted to see the sea.'
'Yes, it's right there - in between the LAND and the SKY!'
-Fawlty Towers



'Excuse me...'
'Yes?'
'Bad news.'
'What?'
'We've got a security camera in this part of the shop.'
'So?'
'...so I saw you put that book down your trousers.'
'What book?'
'The one... you've got down you trousers.'
'... I don't have a book down my trousers.'
'Ah. Well, I'll tell you what... I'll call the police, and - well, what can I say - if I'm wrong about the whole 'book down the trousers' scenario, then... I really apologise!'
'OK, OK, what if, I did have a book down my trousers?'
'Well... ideally, when I went back to the desk, you'd... remove the Conundrum's Guide to Egypt from your trousers and... either wipe it and put it back, or... buy it!'
'OK.'
'See you in a minute.'
-Notting Hill.