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I am both amused and disgusted by the amateurism displayed by this thread.
I find it difficult to believe -- in this day and age -- that such subjects as the efficacy of hafling and/or dwarven throwing, with regards to a singular thrower and throwee, still have an audience, much less authors so bereft of both reason and pride as to post using their commonplace (and for the most part, common) Forum names.
For those history-deprived among you (and this seems to encompass the entirety of the "reading" audience, and I use that term provisionally, as many of you probably move your lips when confronted with text, and either sound out difficult words or simply skip them) this subject has been discussed many times before, and while there exist those "old timers," addicts of "PnP" D&D back when dice came 6 sided and had to be whittled into a D20; when a choice of attacking monster flopped between the twin poles of orc and goblin; when the only spells available were the "2G's" of Goodberry and Grease; when a competant DM need not have graduated fourth grade -- while these sorts of nostalgic carmudgeons undoubtedly exist, and occasionally crawl out of their caves to post inane articles that they really should leave to their betters, it is not true their their manifest ignorace should be forever engraved upon the permanent parchment of this respected Forum.
Now, unless you are one of those freaks that find the concept of maximization repugnant; who enjoy crippling yourself with weak classes and/or inane weapon specialization choices; who retain high charisma values instead of dropping it to near-three in order to reap the benefits a weak character-generation system allows the savvy; I say, unless you are one of these aberrations, read confidently on.
Back in the days of yore (and yes, I mean over eight months ago) there was some excitement generated by the discovery that dwarves could be lifted and lofted towards a perceived enemy. Soon thereafter, haflings, gnomes, and even an occasional elf were experimentally thrown. Clear enough. Soon after the amount of damage these projectiles caused was known, a flurry of threads appeared with titles such as "Maximizing your Number of Dwavish NPC's," "How to Bribe Bearded Barmaids," etc. Then came the application of flame to greased moustaches, illusionary apples dancing before skewer-bearing, unwieldy, hastily-launched halfings, and the whole question of acid and/or poisoning pre-throw; which acids did not destroy the bearer en route while still doing good post-impact damage; the best topical poisons of which certain strains of Dwarves were immune, etc.
Finally (and I take some pride in this discovery) it was revealed that a certain scrolls of limited wish allow for the wishing of a "special companion," who inevitably turns out to be a Siamese twin of race: gnome, dwarf, or halfing. While the logic of the implementation has never been completely understood, these siamese twins (bonded at belly and sporting four legs, four arms, and two heads, and which when flying resemble nothing so much as a leaping sword-spider) do not twice but THREE times normal damage, making squandering a scroll well-worth the effort. Once this became public knowledge, no monster was safe.
Yet still some persist in discussing throwing a singuler, solitary, everyday dwarf! Where the Siamese revelation led, many followed, and I will not (and can not, given time constraints) sketch the outline of all the developments that soon appeared -- catapult cups capable of holding an entire clan of nervous gnomes; giant rubbery tentacles, cut from a Kraken, used to surround and launch skyward halfing family reunions, stolen silverware and all.
I only hope, before more articles are posted, the people will take the time to do some basic research, and thereafter refrain from making those same discoveries and errors that have already been made (in the past) by those both speedier and smarter than any indicated by posts to the present thread topic (present writer, of course, carefully excluded).
[This message has been edited by two (edited 03-29-2001).]
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