Very well, Fable, I concede your point. After asking my good friend Twitch Tanglefoot (a halfling) on the matter, however, he suggested a solution which may work. Simply take a large melon, apple, mutton, or what-have-you, and stuff it into the halfling's mouth, like the roasted pigs they have in buffets sometimes. While the gluttonous halfling is busy attempting to chow down on his meal, he will take no notice of his flight toward the enemy ranks, and will prove quite the effective projectile. Now Twitch and I tried this tactic with Fangle, his second cousin twice removed on his mother's side. It did indeed prove to be quite a stable method, though we had the problem of Fangle falling several yard short of the target, due to the weight of the steak we stuck in his mouth. I'm sure this problem can be easily remedied however, if I take the time to devise a workable solution to the aerodynamics and propulsion problem of a halfling eating in midair. I will have to give the matter further thought, though.
The one other aspect of midget throwing that we have thus far overlooked is the ability of the gnomish people to soar (no pun intended) as projectile weapons. They are roughly the same size and shape as halflings, though a little bit heavier (though this does well to increase their stability), and have none of the faults of halflings. They can also make good explosives, when combined with even the simplest of their many hazardous inventions. My other good friend, Lump Twidlebeeder (a gnomologist and a gnome himself) has shown me a pair of mechanical cufflinks his (now deceased) uncle Stump fashioned. These seemingly ordinary gnomish cufflinks will explode upon an impact of over five miles per hour, which makes for an excellent ICBKG (Inter-Continental Ballistic Kamikazi Gnome), which is something you just cannot get with dwarves, no matter how drunk or flaming.
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President of the World Alliance for the Advancement of Me (W.A.A.M.)  |