[fable]

But dwarves, in the flaming or non-flaming variety, are relentless. Point them at a foe, release the break, and they fly straightforward without any time out for philsophical considerations, restroom breaks, or sightseeing.

By contrast, halflings are among the most easily distracted of the races. The mere mention of food has been known to cause halflings to postpone marriage for as long as twenty-two years (the time required to finish a particularly fulsome dinner engagement). On a notable occasion, a dying halfling, one Broadfoot Firkusny (of the eastern Firkusny's) actually lived for another five years because he'd heard of a village-sized keg of ale that was being built outside a nearby town. This was of course nonsense, but Broadfoot was a stubborn man who seldom changed his mind, and it took five years of watching a salt pit and listening to his relatives before the old boy gave in and agreed to kick the bucket.

Where was I? Oh, yes.

Halflings are thus much more easily distracted than the rest of the races, and a flaming halfling becomes, not merely a hazard to the enemy, but to their own troops, as well. A halfling bearing a flaming shish-ka-bob can swarm off-course to do any number of non-battle-related tasks, depriving the army of their important support and wasting ammunition, as well. (Hey, that flaming shisk-ka-bob oil really costs.) I've even heard of halflings who vanish entirely from the field of battle for years, only to appear long after the war has concluded and wonder what happened to everybody.

This was, by the way, how Miami, Florida, was founded. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

In any case, I trust I have made my point. Halflings can be useful when tossed at the enemy, but if you really want reliability out of your live ammunition, a dwarf or gnome is the way to go.



[This message has been edited by fable (edited 03-26-2001).]